Ogg

You're seventeen, and studying hard for your A levels. How would you like it if you were suddenly adopted by a Great Being, who had been around for ever and knew everything? 'Pretty useful, with all that knowledge and the exams coming up', would be your first reaction, I expect. But then the Great Being lets slip that the end of the world is just around the corner.Tom Fletcher is a worried man. Middle aged and balding, he hasn't sold a house in weeks and his job is on the line. His wife is cheating on him and he is falling in love with his secretary.He is bewildered by the world. Animate and inanimate objects take on personalities and behaviours in his fertile imagination which make even the commonplace events of daily life into battlegrounds where misunderstanding and confusion reign.All he asks is to be loved, -- but not by the intimidating Carole who contrives and schemes to get him into her bed.In his mind there is a simple solution. Kill his wife and marry his secretary. But where to get the gun?Pausing only to reflect on topology and the meaning of life, Tom pursues a single minded route through a minefield populated by topless dancers and hippopotami, only slightly phased by a tendency to see people as donuts, and use Exchange and Mart as his guide.Frogs, Pizzas, Water Beds, Pygmies, Licorice Flavoured Condoms and an Ostrich all have key parts to play in this drama of everyday folk.This is a love story, or perhaps a murder story, or maybe it's just a tale about a man who doesn't own a decent jacket..... and in the background lurks the mysterious Geoffrey, without whom the story would be incomplete.