A Portion of Dragon and Chips

Welcome to the Old Kingdom! It's a wonderful time to visit! There's lots to do and plenty to see! Participate* in a public execution! Wave a pathetic little sword at the Queen's Champion! (With luck**, become the new queen's champion!) Practice real magic***, in public! Make fun of the Halfling**** and experience excruciating pain! What are you waiting for? Dive into the Old Kingdom right now! ***** Clunk, an elderly robot, just did exactly that. He plunges into the sea off the coast of the Old Kingdom, and if he knew what was coming next he'd have sat down on the ocean floor and waited for rescue. Dragged from the ocean, coughing up seaweed, salty water and stray pieces of jellyfish, he's taken to the nearby city of Chatter's Reach, where he's given a sword and told to fight the Queen's Champion, Sur Loyne. As if that wasn't bad enough, the Old Kingdom still thinks the wheel is a...