Suite Dreams

Hello, mate!
(Practicing my Australian.* How am I doing?)
I'm so glad the timing worked out for this couch exchange. I'll be crashing on yours by the time you get to mine. If you run into any problems, just find Alyssa. She'll help you out with whatever you need.*
Your couch-swapping mate,
Rick
*That's cute. Go have fun in Australia and leave ME—your girlfriend for an entire semester—to waste away on campus, alone.
**Um, think again. Your couch is already taken.
***Great. Now I've got to find a place for the (unbelievably hot, it turns out) Aussie to crash. But there's only one couch available: the one in my dorm room. . . .