Perky

One hundred years ago when I was young and impulsive (okay, it was five, alright? Five years ago...) I let my boyfriend take, let's just say...compromising pictures of me. (Shut up. It made sense at the time). Surprise! The sleazy back-stabbing jerk posted them on a website and, well, you can guess what happened. That's right. I'm a meme. A really gross one. You've seen the pictures. And if you haven't – don't ask. And don't look! As face recognition software online improves, I get tagged on social media whenever anyone shares my pictures. You try getting a thousand notifications a day, all of them pictures of your tatas. So. I'm done. It's time for revenge. Let him see how it feels! But how do you get embarrassingly intimate pictures of your jerkface ex who double-crossed you five years ago? Especially when he's a member of the U.S.House of Representatives now? Getting sweet between the sheets with a...