Calendar Girls

An anthology of holiday stories from April Hill. Nine holidays, nine hilarious tales of chaos and woe, and more spankings than a poor girl can shake a switch at. Whether they're snowed in in a mountain cabin, or simply trying to enjoy a peaceful Fourth of July on a hot, sunny New England beach, these nine ladies just can't seem to get their acts together, or their ducks in a row. One by one, each of the unlucky holiday heroines pays for the minor disruption or major catastrophe she's created by being taken across her beloved's knee, and soundly spanked. January: Snowbound Russ Warren refuses to be Lisa’s wilderness guide, so she stows away in the back of his truck - and ends up trapped for a long, cold winter in a snowed-in one-room cabin with an easy-going cowboy whose idea of taking life easy is making it extremely hard on her deserving backside. February: Red Roses For A Blue Lady When Emma tries to make the guy she wants to marry jealous by going to the yearly Valentine’s Dance and Truck Auction with a lecherous chiropractor, what she gets for her trouble is some almost frostbitten toes, a squashed cupcake, and a badly overheated behind. March and Easter: The Tale of Peggie Pie Lisa loves holidays, until a new event planner turns her Easter Egg Hunt into a much bigger affair that almost gets Lisa arrested, and gets her into hot water with her husband. March and St. Patrick’s Day: The End Of The Rainbow Cathy dumps her wealthy fiancé, quits her job at a sleazy gossip tabloid magazine, and heads to Ireland on little more than a hunch, hoping to track down a Pulitzer Prize winning Irish novelist who disappeared from the publishing radar twelve years earlier. When she arrives on the isolated island where she expects to corner her prey, though, she gets a lot more than she was expecting - a job, the self-respect she’s never had, and love on a lobster boat. The only cost to Cathy for the long journey to the end of her personal rainbow is some very sound spankings, and a closet full of Jimmy Choo spike heels. April: The Last April Fool Callie learns the hard way that playing a silly April Fools’ prank on your beloved can very easily go awry, and that the payback that follows can make it really hard to sit down for a day or two - or three. May and Cinco de Mayo: Maxed out in Mexico City Carrie’s drop-dead gorgeous tour guide takes her to some fabulous places for Cinco de Mayo, but when she ignores his travel recommendations, gets lost in the desert, nearly kidnapped, and cruelly robbed of her brand spanking new, overpriced Chinese souvenir, he also provides - at absolutely no additional cost - a not so fabulous trip across his gorgeous, manly knee. May and Memorial Day: All Quiet Along The Potomac The Civil War may be over, but on this very first Memorial Day, things are still very uncivil between handsome Union officer Jed Canfield and the spoiled Southern belle he still loves, and was once engaged to marry. On the theory that all is fair in love and war, Captain Canfield puts a quick, incisive end to the hostilities with a surprise assault from the rear - on the lady’s vulnerable and very attractive rear end, that is. June: Bailing Out The Bride When June bride Karyn marries an easy-going NYPD cop, she learns that being arrested for past due traffic tickets less than an hour after the ceremony can lead to a bare-bottomed walloping in a cheap motel room, and a wedding night that isn’t exactly the bed of roses she was hoping for - after the groom had to blow their honeymoon fund on bailing out the bride. July: Under the Boardwalk On previous years, Libby had always enjoyed their seaside village’s Fourth of July fireworks, but this year, when she found herself under the boardwalk, having her butt set on fire by the Chief of Police, it sort of ruined the whole day. Especially when all she’d been trying to do was her civic duty as a devoted soccer mom and reluctant Brownie leader. Besides, it wasn’t like she’d wrecked a historical landmark and drowned a Hyundai and two hundred innocent sock monkeys on purpose, for heaven’s sake!