Better Than None

“Is half a loaf better than none?” From an early age, Stephanie Lawson knew the answer to her mother Barbara’s rhetorical relationship question. As close as they were, Steph never wanted to be like Barb when it came to men: someone so desperate that she routinely settled for crumbs. So Steph built walls long before she truly understood why and thought she was protecting herself by using sex as a weapon. But by 37, she realized that her own self-destructive behavior wasn’t protecting her at all. All it did was prevent her from ever getting close to anyone. Ready to remake herself with a new job, the challenge isn’t the work, but rather creating her new identity and trying to be the person she wants to be. Unlearning everything she ever knew is difficult, but it doesn’t compare to the news that her mother and best friend has cancer. The diagnosis creates a new reality for both Steph and Barb. Their quality time goes from shopping and errands to a gut-wrenching maze of procedures, hospitalizations and suffering. Like with anything else, they tackle it the only way they know how: together. The disease not only gives Steph perspective, it also introduces her to her mother’s prick of an oncologist, Dr. Brad Rosenberg. Perhaps because she recognizes a broken soul when she sees one, Steph begins to slowly let Brad in. Their budding relationship isn’t without hurdles, but dealing with Barb’s illness accelerates the changes in Steph’s own life. If only it didn’t take losing her mother to start finding herself.