Those Who Trespass Against Us

A young family in Las Vegas questions their mysterious new neighbors. A short story about 7000 words.Ride with the Lane AvengerTM as he fights for truth, justice and a bit of consideration for others on the highways of Great Britain.Thrill to his exploits as he struggles bravely with middle lane hoggers, tailgating BMWs, ticket happy policemen, Top Gear presenters and car-hating local authorities.Swoon as he rediscovers techniques lost to motorists for generations, like using your indicators, letting people out at busy junctions and pulling in after overtaking.Weep as he is ruthlessly hunted down like a wanted criminal by the Hampshire police and patronised by well-meaning morons for two hours at a Driver Awareness Course.Learn new skills like The Nudge, The Sally, The LA Stare TM, the WOPO formula and The Flying ‘H’ and maybe, one day, you too could become a Lane AvengerTM.More hate less speed.Part autobiography, part self-help book, part homework diary and a bit of a call to arms, the book charts Lane’s rise from his humble birth on an Indian reservation near Montreal, through a stellar career in psychosomatics and nuclear physics to become head of standing around in a white coat at the Laboratoire Garniere and parish councillor for Swindon’s Toothill ward (East).Hear how, fed up with the incessant and spiteful back-biting of the world of academia, and after a row over fortnightly bin collections, he gave all this up to found the ‘Take back the Highway!’ movement.Gasp as he reveals the answers to the big questions that others are too sacred to ask. Why does nature abhor a vacuum? Is the word ‘abhor’ ever used in any other context? How come ‘flammable’ and ‘inflammable’ mean the same thing?Wonder about the mysterious gaps in his CV in 1976, 1980, 2003 and 2012 - strangely coinciding with the Israeli raid on Entebbe, the end of the Iranian Embassy siege, the capture of Saddam Hussein and the brutal slaying of Osama Bin Laden. Was he really ‘just watching television’ at the time? Yes.Go to bed dreaming of a better commute for us all, but with a strange, niggling feeling at the back of your mind that somewhere between pages eight and forty seven (depending on font size) you missed a very important message...a secret that could blow the entire western world apart.Batteries not included.