LIPSTICK AND LIES AND DEADLY GOODBYES

Ever been almost-beheaded by a snow-plow? Turned into an undead by a homeless vampire? Cheated and betrayed by your lying sack of s**t husband? Welcome to my life... or, more correctly, my crazy after-life. To everyone behind the gates of our wealthy community in Charming, Mississippi, my husband and I were the Joneses everyone tried to keep up with. A beautiful house, the perfect gated community, two gorgeous kids, and a supposedly flawless marriage. Until I came home and caught him rolling around in our bed, hip-deep in my best friend. Which led to the aforementioned snow plow incident. I woke up with a fear of the sun and a propensity for drinking blood. Or in laymen's terms, a vampire. I thought vampires were supposed to be hot and irresistible. But my Maker smells like he just stepped out of a sewer and he has the appeal of a turd in punch bowl. But you know how life is as one of the Joneses...gotta keep up. Keep up...