Author: Romi Moondi
Category: Humorous
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/romi-moondi/page,20,10594-year-of-the-chick.html
Are you free at lunchtime today? If yes, let me know and I’ll call you, would be good to catch up.
J
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Catch up? Did the last two months not happen? Who is this guy?
Despite feeling utterly confused, saying “no” would mean obsessing over what he might’ve said. And nobody obsesses harder than me.
The choice was clear, so when Eleanor and Amy came by my desk with their lunches in hand, I buttoned up my coat and flew past them, mentioning something quick about a lunch-hour errand.
Here we go again…?
Chapter Twenty-Three
I removed my bulky wool coat and draped it over my arm, as I found myself again in the aisles of erotic literature.
I’d told James he could call me at quarter past twelve, and this time I didn’t have to pace back and forth in endless wait; my phone started ringing right on time.
“Hello?” I said, sounding rather meek.
“How are you Roms?”
Still with the nickname! I really hate this guy. Is he even allowed to call me that anymore?
I switched the phone from hand to hand, trying to dry my sweaty palms on my pants.
I’m fine thanks,” I said. “And what about yourself?”
This feels awkward. And forced. And as if I care what he’s been doing the last couple months?
“I’m well thank you, though perhaps a little stressed about the trip to L.A. next week.”
“That sounds cool.”
But it’s not Toronto, you olive-eating English idiot.
“Is this related to the script?” I added. “And congrats again by the way.” Even though his casual air annoyed me, I smiled when I mentioned his script.
“Thank you,” he said. “And yes it has to do with the script. It came up very suddenly though. I’m struggling to wrap things up before I leave.”
“Sounds stressful…”
Why am I in this phone call again? I should be texting Arjun!
“Stressful yes, but also exciting.” He cleared his throat before continuing. Damn, even THAT sounds hot in his accent. “So tell me, what have I missed?”
“There’s only one big item you missed,” I said. “My sister is engaged.”
“Wow, well there you go, there’s one for the books.”
“And here’s the best part: he’s a perfectly acceptable Indian guy, and my parents are in love with him. She’ll be married in nine months.”
“That’s quite a whirlwind, I must say.”
Being in the spotlight was building my sense of comfort. Maybe I’ll just roll with it.
I turned the corner of the section “G to N,” walking and talking at a quicker pace. “It’s a hell of a change. And since my parents are totally consumed with my sister’s wedding, the thought of ‘arranging’ me is suddenly low on the list. Can you believe it?”
“Sounds like there is hope for you yet, if you ask me.” His voice had that same rich warmth I remembered.
I laughed. “Yes there is, if only for a little while! It’s just so funny, how they start to act all needy once they know one of us is leaving.”
“Entirely unexpected of course…” he said, his voice trailing off.
The silence suddenly shook me into reality. This isn’t right.
“James, can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why did you call me?” I traced my fingers along a row of erotic titles.
“It was time to catch up again,” he said.
Oh, sure. “And we couldn’t do that over e-mail?”
“Yes of course we could have, but I am so busy preparing for my U.S. trip next week that it was easier to call. Besides, what easier way is there to find out what the weather is like on the East Coast? That way I’ll know what to take with me.”
“East Coast? Huh?” I massaged my forehead, in a mixture of confusion and frustration. “No wait, stop, this is too much now. I mean first I don’t hear from you in like…forever, and here you are calling me to talk about, well, I don’t know. What are you talking about James?”
Or was it me who was on crack? It didn’t matter anymore, I wasn’t done.
“I mean who are you James Caldwell? You walk into my life like a lost James Bond and then just like that,” I snapped my fingers for effect, “you’re gone. Godammit people just don’t do that to me!”
It was suddenly very quiet on his side of the phone. Finally he spoke.
“Look,” he started, but I interrupted him quickly, with the anger now vented and my brain simply hyper like usual.
“Explain this East Coast thing to me. I thought you said you’re going to L.A.”
“Well yes, but on the way back, I am flying through New York City. I will be there for a day and a night.”
I leaned against the bookshelf and almost knocked it over.
New York? Hmm…
“Only a day? But you won’t see much of New York in just one day.” Wait, why am I even saying this? Last time I checked I wasn’t a New Yorker.
“Trust me I would love to stay longer. It’s just I need to get back to England, take care of the parents and decorate the house and all that.”
How cute was that? Oh crap, unplanned melting in effect.
“I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you. So what’s your plan for a day in New York?” I asked, suddenly wishing that I lived in New Jersey or Connecticut, if not in an apartment on the Upper West Side…god, why can I never be mad at this guy? Well not for long anyway.
“Actually I don’t really have a plan. Except perhaps potter about, doing some Christmas shopping or similar.”
Just then a book called “Export to Ecstasy” caught my eye. The woman on the cover was bursting with boobs, but the faded-out background indicated an airport.
“Hey James…” I said, with the wheels in my brain turning fast. “What if I flew to New York for the day?”
I had no idea what I was doing, except for following James’s rule of taking charge of my life, which in this case simply meant living free within the phone call. Reality was gone, and I was blissful in this pleasant hallucination. I must have Malaria.
His end of the line was silent for longer than I’d hoped, which made my heart gurgle up ‘til it was stuck in my throat. What if he doesn’t want to meet you? You presumptuous dumbass!
“Sure, why not? If you can spare the time…can you spare the time?”
Are you kidding? Just tell me when to stop the clock!
“Of course I can! I mean it’s only a day right?”
Yes, it’s easy and normal so I’m not being too enthusiastic.
“And your parents?”
“I’m living in the moment okay?” I laughed, now comfortably back in my delirium. “Let me figure that out once this phone call is over.”
“Good, you do that. I need to head out for dinner.”
For once his departure was more than fine. I had some thinking to do.
I put my coat back on and slipped my phone into the pocket, pausing to take the biggest breath of my life.
So what am I doing exactly?
My grip on reality was still far away, which was likely the reason for what I did next. It all happened fast in one fluid motion, and before I knew it I was standing in the bookstore queue, with a copy of “Export to Ecstasy” in hand. On any other day I wouldn’t have dared make a purchase like that. But on this very different day, I felt fully relaxed when I placed the steamy novel on the counter.
I hadn’t figured out what I would do with it, but I knew that if I wound up in New York, this book was in some way responsible. And if I can’t thank the author in person, I might as well give her a sale.
On the walk back to work I was barely aware of the snowflakes blinding my view. Instead I was consumed by flight schedules, my parents, a Christmas gala, and that guy named Arjun…
Chapter Twenty-Four
I screeched into th
e café parking lot, finding a spot in the furthest corner. It was mine and Laura’s café, and it was time for an emergency “life session.”
I’d told my parents I’d be staying late at work for a meeting, but even so I’d specified an eight p.m. arrival time. Tick tock.
The snowfall from earlier in the day had given way to a clear night sky. As usual, clear night skies meant the temperature had dropped almost ten degrees. I was reminded of this as I jogged to the entrance with the wind whipping hard at my face.
I finally slowed my pace as I took a good look inside.
The place was packed to the brim…how long would it take for a table to open up?
Screw this.
I ordered something extra non-fat for Laura, some triple-caramel action for myself (stressed out, need sugar), and scurried back over to my car.
Before I could open my door, Laura’s blueberry-coloured jeep pulled into the parking lot, so I ran right up to her passenger side.
She reached over and opened the door with surprise, as I handed her the drinks and hopped into the seat.
“It’s way too noisy to talk in there. And also I love how your jeep smells. Okay?”
“Okay! And thank you!” She smiled at her latte and passed me mine.
“So,” she began. “Your e-mail and voicemail were very detailed, and I’ve had some time to think it over.”
I took a long whiff of my caramel latte. “I just hope you can give me the sane perspective. All my ideas equal what I want but sound insane.”
“Let’s review the most important one first,” she said, with a face more serious than anything I’d ever seen.
“Yeah?”
“You’re not going to a big scary city to meet an Internet acquaintance by yourself. There’s NO WAY I’m letting you do that.”
I slumped my shoulders and turned away. I knew this was crazy.
“Unless I come along to watch your back.”
I gasped. “But how?”
“What do you mean? I buy a ticket, hop on a plane, share a room with you…just like that.” She smiled.
“But I can’t just leave you alone while I’m out having fun with James! I mean assuming we have fun and all that.” I suddenly felt sweaty in my big winter coat.
“Are you kidding Romes? I go to New York whenever I can! I’ve spent lots of days exploring on my own…and come on, the amazing Christmas shopping?” She grinned and took a sip of her drink.
Well that was easy. At least for her it was anyway, but what about me?
“I’d need a good excuse…” I mused. “To make it sound legit.”
“Dude, how bad is your memory? You’ve been to New York twice for legitimate work trips. I remember because HELLO, I was there! So why don’t you make one up this time?”
I rubbed my left temple but the stress seemed to grow. “Laura, I’ve never lied that much before. Not even close.”
“You think they’ll figure it out?”
I placed my drink in the cup-holder and sighed. “It’s not even about that really. I actually don’t like lying to them, as hard as that is to believe. Every time I do it the guilt weighs me down a little, but what’s the alternative?”
“The truth, and the risk of them disowning you?”
I laughed. “I’m saving the disownment for when I tell them I’m engaged to a guy who isn’t Indian.”
She smiled.
“So Romes…does this mean you’re taking the plunge?”
I nodded and my smile grew wider. “What choice do I have?”
“And maybe it’s the perfect time in a way,” said Laura. “Your parents are obsessed with engagement party plans, they might not even care if you go.”
One can only hope.
My stress-turned-excitement switched back to stress, when I thought of a certain someone.
“Oh crap,” I said.
“What is it?”
“Arjun! What am I supposed to do about him? And the Christmas gala? I’ll be hanging out with James all day on the Friday, then I’m supposed to head back to Toronto by Saturday night and be a date for Arjun?” I shook my head. “This is not good.”
“Well it depends,” she said. “Do you like Arjun?”
“Ask me on the flight home from New York.” I started laughing. Nervously.
“So in other words, you’re NOT taking Arjun to the gala?” Laura was looking at me sternly now.
I sighed. “That’s right, but how do I toss him without being bitchy?” I suddenly thought of Eleanor, who’d put in quite the effort to orchestrate the set-up.
Laura smiled. “You stay in New York until Sunday. As if I couldn’t use an extra day of shopping?”
It was the perfect solution, though it did little to ease my conscience. “But how should I explain this to Eleanor? She’s going to kill me for ditching her friend. She’s going to kill me for chasing this pipe dream!”
Laura looked straight into my eyes. “Just be honest, how bad could it be? I mean it’s not like you promised to marry him.”
She was right, we hadn’t even been on a date! I put it out of my mind and allowed my excitement to build.
“Laura, I need to hug you right now. You’re the best friend a psycho-girl could ever ask for.”
I squeezed her tight until she begged for release. “Stop! You’re pulling my hair!”
“Sorry! This is why I avoid all affection with friends.”
She laughed. “It’s fine. I’ll book the flight and hotel with my corporate discount, so expect all the details tomorrow. In the mean time, go home and practice telling your parents!”
Right, just the tiny little detail of a big-ass lie…
***
The next day I sat staring at Eleanor with my best pair of innocent eyes.
“Is this the dumbest idea ever?” I asked. I’d explained it all, from the lifetime of regret that would follow if I never went, to the fact that I’d be ditching her dear friend Arjun.
“It’s not a dumb idea,” she said. “It’s actually kind of cute. A little naïve perhaps, but sweet.” She paused. “Too bad you’re screwing over my friend.”
To my surprise, my eyes started glistening with tears. I guess I was feeling guiltier than I’d thought.
“I’m kidding jackass!”
“What?”
“I mean yes I set you guys up, TWICE…but nothing’s really happened with you two. It’s not like I provided his family with a dowry. And besides, how amazing do you think you are? You think he’s desperately in love with you, after only a week or so of texting?”
I finally laughed, as it felt pretty good to have my ego put in check.
Once that was settled, Eleanor and I got to talking about the trip. Up to and including all the subtle little hints to enhance the physical encounter. “Wear a skirt,” she said. “And make sure your sweater is soft in case you cuddle. Oh, and wash your hair with a salon-grade conditioner the night before. For extra shine.”
Okay, I could remember that.
When it was time to deal with Arjun, I did so the only way I could, considering we hadn’t even spoken on the phone. And so a text message blow-off it was: “Bad news, going to NYC unexpectedly next week. So I won’t be here for the Xmas gala :-( Sorry!”
With the ditch-and-switch accomplished I was almost there.
Only one thing left to do…
***
The trip was fully booked and James was in the loop, so now it was time for some dinner conversation with my parents. Or more importantly some “dinner theatre.”
I waited until they entrenched themselves in wedding or engagement conversation. Then I quickly threw it in. “I’m going on a work trip next week.” I paused for their reaction, while my brain tried reviewing all the details (especially the fake ones) in my head.
“Where?” asked my father in the middle of a mouthful of rice.
“Oh just New York. Trade show. For next year’s patio furniture showcase.”
It was so boring it
had to be true!
My brother and sister looked at me suspiciously but I wasn’t deterred. No way you assholes, don’t even try to mess this up!
“For how long?” asked my mother. She seemed to lose interest halfway through the question. “Neema! Look how dark your elbows are! And why are they so rough? I know a special cream that will lighten them and make them smoother.”
Elbow lightening cream? Does anyone even know I’m here?
“I leave after work next Thursday,” I said. “And I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon.”
My dad grunted.
Was that really it?
“Wait a minute,” he said.
Oh god, the inquisition. JUST BE COOL.
“Yeah?”
“Do you need me to pick you up at the airport?”
“No, my co-worker will drive me home. But you need to drop me off at the train station when I leave.”
“How early do I have to wake up?”
“Umm…six-thirty?”
He sighed in a tortured poet kind of way.
The conversation quickly shifted to whether or not my sister had found a photographer. And a difference of opinion over how much it should cost.
I cleared the dishes, cleaned the table and went upstairs to my room.
Holy crap. I actually did it.
With everything covered it was finally official. New York City, James Caldwell, here I come!
Chapter Twenty-Five
Laura gazed out the window and smiled.
“We’re officially crossing the bridge now,” she said. “New York baby!”
The lights of the city poured into the cab and straight into my eyes, making me forget it was snowing.
“According to James’s schedule, he’ll be here by the time I go to sleep,” I said. “Yeah as if I’ll be able to sleep.”
I pulled out his e-mail from my bag, and reviewed it for maybe the twentieth time.
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Hello Romi,
My flight lands late on Thursday night, and I’ll be staying at the Hudson Hotel.
I have some errands to run Friday morning, then I’m free to meet you at two-thirty.
I’ll be waiting at the Musings Café that’s next to your hotel.
Don’t be late.
James
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Every time I read the e-mail, my heart jumped up and down like I had just won the jackpot. I’d never been more excited in my entire life. Still, it would’ve been cooler to have our meet-up somewhere epic, like the top of the Empire State Building perhaps. But a place that’s almost next to my hotel? Works for me!