Author: Beverley Oakley
Category: Nonfiction
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A dull, sick feeling crept over him. Why hadn’t he told Lizzy the truth? Why hadn’t he said that he loved her? At least they’d both have had that.
For a moment, there was silence. Theo could feel Amelia’s conviction diminishing as she glanced out of the window too. The spike of ridiculous hope he had felt just now all but disappeared.
She murmured, “I’m afraid she doesn’t have much time to make up her mind.”
No, Lizzy didn’t have much time. She may be weighing up what, really, was in store for her if she took a chance and rushed out into the night.
Elopement was scandalous even though lawful marriage was the end result.
But she didn’t even know if an honourable offer awaited her.
He put his hands to his head. Why had he never said more to Lizzy about what was truly in his heart?
Of course he could not have. Not when he was eloping with Amelia. Dully, he said, “She’s just agreed to marry Dalgleish. I hardly think she will join us after what I said to her earlier. You’re jumping to conclusions, Amelia. I’m surprised at you when you’re usually so levelheaded.”
Amelia shrugged. “I’ve never been in love so I don’t know, exactly, what she’d be feeling. But I suspected she might want to come very much.” She smiled at Theo. “I do know that if one’s brave enough, one will take very great risks to get what one wants—if it’s offered to one. And I have not listened to Miss Scott’s maid’s chatter for the past two evenings without ascertaining that Miss Scott is in love with you.”
“But Amelia,” he said gently, “why would she come when she knows I have nothing?”
“You will, if you can live frugally on the loan I’m prepared to advance you once I come into my inheritance in three months’ time.”
He stroked his jaw as he digested her words.
Amelia nodded. “I can claim my inheritance in three months. You and I have already determined that we have enough for the two of us to survive on what we have between us for the next three months. I am sure it can feed another mouth until I’m in a position to advance you living expenses to last a couple of years. It won’t be too long before Lizzy is a rich woman; and you’ll have made your own fortune long before then,” she added confidently. “She’ll be married to a man who loves her. Isn’t that what every woman desires?”
“But…what about you?” It was hard to think so far ahead. It was hard to think at all.
“I’ll have my independence. That’s what I truly want.” Amelia cast another worried look out of the window. “I just hope Miss Scott is brave enough.”
Theo rubbed his eyes and shifted in his seat. It was not just the desire, or bravery, that was required.
There had to be opportunity, too. And Lizzy had been trapped.
Theo had set out for the house party four days ago to rescue Amelia. In the interim, he had not spared a thought for the fact that Lizzy needed rescuing as much as Amelia did.
Now he realised why he’d never told Lizzy the truth of his feelings for her. To have hope, only to lose it, was more terrible than anything. He had wanted to spare her.
Now, as he faced the growing truth that Lizzy may not come after all, he realised how badly he had hoped she would.
And how much greater was his devastation that she had not.
“Theo!” He glanced up at the rapping on the window. Neither he nor Amelia had heard an approach.
Something leapt from his heart to his throat, making it hard to respond with mere words when he looked through the frosted glass to the darkness outside—to Lizzy, holding a lantern and clutching a thick cloak about her shoulders, pressing her face against the window.
The disappointment within him was suddenly transformed into a cloudburst of newborn hope and joy as he flung open the door and took her in his arms.
Lizzy’s hands twined behind his neck as she dropped the lantern which fell to the snow, the flame extinguished.
Unlike the love in Theo’s heart which burned with fearful intent as he held her tighter. He had not realised how much he’d wanted this until he feared it was too late.
“You did come, Lizzy!” He cried between kisses. “I didn’t know if you would come if you didn’t know…how much I truly love you.”
And Lizzy, who had never hidden exactly what was in her heart, replied, “All you had to do was ask me!”
And then she was pulling him down, once again, to kiss him with even more enthusiasm than she’d shown in the Long Gallery when Theo had realised he was a doomed man.
Epilogue
Three months later
“Miss Lizzy, Lady Conroy is ʼere ter see yer.” Mabel stepped into the small office where Lizzy was working at the accounts. “Though I s’pose she don’t want ter see yer, really. Shall I fetch Benjamin?”
Lizzy set aside the letter she’d just received from Lady Fenton, written in the viscountess’s capacity of Patroness of the Foundling Home, and looked up.
“Thank you, Mabel. Just wait a few minutes until Miss Harcourt finishes teaching the little ones their letters, and then you can bring him through.” Lizzy put down her pen and sat back in her chair. “Take Lady Conroy into the parlour. And please, bring tea for both of us.”
By the time Mabel ushered Lady Conroy into the small reception room of the tiny cottage she and Theo shared with Amelia, Lizzy had settled herself on a small, somewhat threadbare sofa, nervous, though excited.
“Susan… It’s nice to see you.”
The young woman was more gaunt than Lizzy remembered as she glided into the room in an elegant cream-velvet pelisse, but there was an air of excitement about her that was unfamiliar to Lizzy. Susan had always seemed the most unremarkable of young women when she’d lived under the same roof as Lizzy.
Little had fourteen-year-old Lizzy known that when she’d arrived, recently orphaned and the only living member of her entire family, that Mrs Hodge’s daughter was in the mid stages of a pregnancy she was battling to conceal.
Nor could she have imagined that this catastrophe would have such repercussions, not only on Susan’s life, but Lizzy’s too.
“You too, Lizzy. You’re looking well. Married life suits you.”
Lizzy did not disagree. The three months since she and Theo had made their mad dash in a coach-and-four from Quamby House, had been one of adventure.
And much loving.
“I recommend it,” she said, “when one’s spouse is as good humoured as Theo.”
Through the wall that separated the parlour from the schoolroom, she could hear the sound of the well-drilled orphans and foundlings sent to the school run by herself, Theo, and Amelia, reciting their letters.
Susan heard it too, for her eyes lit up as she became aware of the sound. “My Benjamin knows the alphabet?”
“And his numbers,” Lizzy added proudly. “He’s a fine lad. Mabel will bring him through at the end of the lesson.” She cleared her throat as an awkward silence reigned between them, before adding, “Thank you for your generous bequest. We’ve been able to do so much for the children.”
Susan looked about her. The cottage Theo had rented was small but homely and equipped with a large fireplace. “You must have appreciated this when you first took up residence,” she indicated the warmth of the flames, rubbing her hands. “It was a very cold January.”
“Indeed, it was!” Lizzy agreed. “Not that I think I noticed the cold. We were all so relieved to be able to remain in England rather than cast adrift somewhere on the Continent for three months.” Seeing the question on Susan’s face, she added, “Amelia feared Lord Leighton would hunt her down and demand retribution from Theo. She was convinced that Lord Leighton would give them no peace. Apparently, he’s a very vengeful man.”
Susan frowned. “Yes, I heard about his fit of apoplexy though Mama didn’t mention the circumstances. Only that it occurred the night Miss Harcourt left with…you and Mr McAlister...which, as you can imagine, was of greater importance to her.” Clearly, Susan found it uncomf
ortable, even now, speaking of the irregularities of Lizzy’s situation, though in truth, having a child out of wedlock, as Susan had done, was cause for greater scandal and public opprobrium than Lizzy’s elopement. For Lizzy had been accompanied by Amelia throughout.
She must have realised this—and that she had Lizzy and Theo, amongst others to thank for the fact that her sin had not been made public—for she had the good grace to blush.
“I’m sure it would have been. But Lord Leighton’s apoplectic attack and subsequent ill health has meant we’ve been able to set up our school and live in peace and safety.” Lizzy leant forwards to pour the tea that Mabel had just brought in on a tray.
Susan accepted a cup and settled back, glancing with obvious impatience in the direction of the childish voices still reciting their alphabet. “I don’t doubt that his apoplexy was brought on through learning that his intended had eloped.”
“Not at all.” Lizzy smiled, remembering her strange mix of feelings when Theo had passed on the news. “No, Lord Leighton hadn’t yet been apprised of Miss Harcourt’s dramatic flight. In fact, Lady Quamby was…entertaining Lord Leighton when a jealous Italian admirer of hers happened upon the pair of them and took exception to Lady Quamby having any association with a gentleman other than her husband or himself.”
“Oh!”
Lizzy nodded. “The Italian gentleman proposed first a duel, then decided he wanted a speedier resolution to the question of honour.”
“The Italian gentleman murdered him?” Susan gasped, nearly spilling her tea.
Lizzy shook her head. “Apparently, he’d only got so far as tearing off his shirt, whereupon Lord Leighton took one look at his bare-chested adversary and collapsed in a fit of apoplexy from which he’s never quite regained his faculties.”
“Goodness,” Susan murmured, and might have said more, except that the opening of the door had her leaping to her feet, an expression of unalloyed joy transforming her features as Theo bore a young boy of about six years old into the room.
“Lady Conroy, it’s a pleasure to see you,” Theo greeted her. “May I introduce Benjamin.” He leant down to address the lad, telling him, “This is the kind lady who is sponsoring you, Benjamin. All the toys and nice things and friends you have here are because Lady Conroy has taken a special interest in you.” He patted him on the back, then gave him a little push, straightening to stand beside Lizzy.
Smiling at her, Lizzy had to covertly wipe her eyes as they watched Susan, nearly overcome with emotion, draw from her reticule a lead toy soldier which she handed to him. It was received with childish glee.
“I was afraid the boy would be stiff and reserved with her,” Theo whispered.
“Not Benjamin,” Lizzy returned, as Susan said, almost wonderingly, “Did you know, Benjamin, that you remind me very much of someone who I think might be related to you. With your dark hair and eyes, and your happy smile, you remind me very much of him. Yes, you do have relatives in this world, and one day we will find them. You just need to be patient and stay here a while longer.”
“Relatives?” the boy asked, looking up from his study of what was probably the most special toy he’d ever received. “Do you mean…a father?”
“Everyone has a father,” Theo said. “But not everyone is lucky enough to know their father. You are no different from most of the others here, Benjamin.”
“But Benjamin and the children have all the love and care they could wish for staying here,” said Susan, rising, as she held out her hand. “Would you like to go for a little walk, Benjamin? We could buy a fruit bun and perhaps some bread to feed the ducks. Would you like that?”
Theo stole a little closer to Lizzy so that by the time Susan was nearly out of the door he was holding her hand, the gesture of affection hidden by the desk behind which they stood.
Susan stopped and turned in the half-open doorway. “I don’t know if you heard the news...” she began, looking at the ground rather than at their faces as if she were reluctant to continue, “but my mother is to be married.”
“Oh?” Lizzy had no words. Mrs Hodge was not a woman she would have imagined would trade her autonomy for anything.
Theo squeezed her hand while Lizzy tried to adopt a tone that did not betray the strange mix of emotions that churned in her breast. “Who is the…lucky bridegroom?”
To Lizzy’s surprise, Susan seemed unable to hide a smile. “Harry Dalgleish.”
“Harry Dalgleish!” both Lizzy and Theo cried in unison.
“But…surely she’s twenty years older?” Lizzy asked, though this was the least of the factors that made the union so remarkable.
“Eighteen,” Susan corrected her. She hesitated, as if weighing up whether to say more, then went on in a rush, “I know what a terrible thing mother was prepared to do to you, Lizzy…on my account—and I’m so sorry for it!”
“I was not the only one who suffered.” Lizzy smiled at her before glancing at Theo. How easy it was to forgive when one was happy.
Susan made to leave but, with a glance at Benjamin that confirmed he was occupied with his toy, she lowered her voice. “Mother never told me the truth about...” She indicated the boy with a nod. “She’d told me he’d died. She lied.”
Lizzy had heard a sketchy telling of the story from Lady Fenton. She had not wanted to pry too much, but she was more than curious. The events surrounding Susan and Benjamin had, after all, motivated Mrs Hodge’s behaviour towards Lizzy.
“I know.”
Susan ruffled the lad’s hair. Lowering her voice even more, she said, “He was given to a farming family. Mama used to visit him. After all, she had no other grandchildren. Apparently, Harry Dalgleish learned the truth. Furthermore, he was able to provide proof of who Benjamin really was, and so he blackmailed Mama.”
“And my poor Lizzy was to pay the price,” Theo said grimly.
“It wasn’t only me who paid the price.” Lizzy looked at Susan.
“I’m not sure who is paying the price now,” Susan said, her smile stretching even further. “Harry was counting on a timely marriage…to you, Lizzy,” she said, “because he had gaming debts and a very nasty, impatient creditor threatening him. He didn’t have much time to come up with the money. I don’t know who proposed their marital agreement, but you can imagine my surprise to learn that he and Mama will be married next week. Harry will then enjoy the financial benefits of being married to a rich widow, and Mama need no longer fear the shame of having our…unfortunate little family secret revealed.”
“Good heavens,” Lizzy whispered, unable to say more.
Susan’s smile faded. “Of course, you can imagine Sir Richard’s reaction if the truth about Benjamin were revealed. Mama is dreadfully afraid of that. And of Sir Richard.” She hesitated. “Mama has also become used to the benefits of being so well received in high society. Invitations issued by Lord and Lady Quamby, and Lord Fenton and their friends, mean a great deal to her. I suppose she made an arrangement that would safeguard that position—even at such a high cost.”
She was nearly out of the doorway now. “I’ll bring Benjamin back in an hour. I have a couple of hours’ journey ahead of me, and Sir Richard will grow vexed if I’m away too long.” She stopped, took a deep breath, then said, “But thank you for making this possible.” She stroked Benjamin’s dark head. “It means the world to me.”
“I think thanks are mostly due to you, darling Theo,” Lizzy said when she’d gone, stepping into Theo’s arms and resting her cheek against his chest.
“And commiserations to poor Harry,” murmured Theo. “Or commiserations to poor Mrs Hodge?”
They both stepped back, able to laugh with pure abandon at the incongruity of such a match. Harry and Mrs Hodge. “Though I think they deserve each other,” Lizzy added.
“Not as much as we do,” Theo said, lowering his face to kiss Lizzy. “Deserve each other, I mean.”
At the soft brush of his lips, Lizzy felt the beginnings of excitement begin the s
low, all-encompassing journey from the tips of her fingers and toes.
This was how it started—that magical sense of expectation that, in Theo’s arms, rewarded her highest hopes, every time.
THE END
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