Author: Alessandra Hazard
Category: LGBT
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Castien straightened and stepped back. “I am never ‘angry,’ Eridan.”
Eridan yawned and sat up straighter, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. “So you’re ‘displeased’ with me.”
“That would be correct. Master Tker spoke to me.”
Eridan scowled. “I’m not letting him inside my mind again.” He met Castien’s eyes. “If you keep insisting on it, you might as well send me away to the servicing department right now, Master. I’m not doing it again. Understood?”
Castien gave him a hard look. “You insolent brat,” he said, his voice deceptively soft. “It appears I was too lenient with you or you wouldn’t dare speak to me in that tone. Do you even know what will happen to you if you end up in the servicing department?”
Eridan frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “There are professions I wouldn’t mind. Being a servant isn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to be.”
Castien’s lips twisted. “You are delusional if you think you will be given a choice. With your face, you will spend all your time on your knees or on your back, servicing Master after Master.”
Eridan flushed. There was something incredibly wrong about his Master speaking to him about sex. It felt obscene. Castien had never given any indication that he had noticed that Eridan wasn’t a sexless thing.
“Javier told me servants are given a choice,” Eridan said, lifting his chin.
“Javier,” Castien repeated, his brows drawing together. “And who is that?”
Eridan blinked in confusion. “Your servant?”
“Is that his name?”
Eridan gaped at him. “You don’t even know his name? You—you use him for pleasure, but you don’t even know his name? He’s been your servant longer than I have been your apprentice!”
His Master gave him a flat look. “He is a servant, Eridan. I do not need to know his name to use his services. As long as he performs adequately, I will not need his name to file a complaint.”
Eridan stared at him incredulously. “How did you even pick him if you don’t know his name?”
“I’m not sure how that is relevant to the subject at hand, but if you must know, I picked his picture. Which actually only proves my point: you do not want to be a servant, Eridan. Do you want to be treated like one?”
“Javier told me he chose his specialization. It can’t be true that I would not be given a choice.”
A humorless smile touched Castien’s lips. “Most unclaimed initiates do get a choice. But in your case, the Coordinator wouldn’t even ask what you want to do. Your ridiculous face would fetch too high a price for him to allow you to do less profitable work. You are very naive if you think otherwise.”
Eridan scowled, though he couldn’t deny that a part of him liked that his Master thought of him as special, even if it was because of something Eridan couldn’t take any credit for: his physical appearance.
“It doesn’t change anything, Master,” he said, looking at his hands. “I won’t let Master Tker inside my mind again. If you can’t accept it, you should cast me aside right now.” His lips curled into a bitter smile. “I’m not your real apprentice anyway. Tker made it abundantly clear today.”
Silence.
It stretched and stretched until Eridan couldn’t bear it anymore and looked up.
He found his Master eyeing him with a strange expression. He could sense a complicated mix of emotions through their bond. It was so rare for him to be able to actually sense Castien’s emotions that Eridan was completely unused to it and couldn’t even decipher what they were. The mere fact that he could sense them at all was bewildering.
Then Castien walked to his desk and opened one of the drawers. “Come here,” he said, his back to Eridan.
Eridan frowned but did as he was told.
When Castien turned around, he was holding something in his hands.
Eridan’s breath caught in his throat when he saw what it was.
The thaal was simple enough but beautiful in its simplicity. The blue ribbon held a single purple dethrenyte in the shape of a tear. The precious gem glowed dimly in the firelight, but it wasn’t its beauty that held Eridan’s attention. He could feel the telepathic energy the gemstone emanated—the energy as familiar to Eridan as his own after months of sharing a bond with its owner.
Swallowing, he lifted his eyes to Castien’s. He couldn’t speak.
The older man held his gaze steadily before saying, “Turn around and kneel.”
Eridan did.
He stared at the fireplace as Castien’s hands wove the ribbon through his hair carefully before letting the dethrenyte rest against Eridan’s neck. The weight was slight but not insignificant. The gemstone’s energy pulsed faintly, warming Eridan more than the fireplace did.
He had seen other apprentices wearing their thaals proudly, the marks of their Masters, but he had never realized how grounding wearing one actually would be. Castien’s telepathic mark in the gemstone would denote Eridan as his apprentice for any other member of the Order who came close to him. It was all the more precious because Castien Idhron knew how to mask his telepathic mark and rarely left it anywhere he didn’t want to. But he had given it to him, Eridan, willingly—just as he was giving him his name. He was part of Castien’s lineage now. He would be called Apprentice Idhron now, not just Apprentice Eridan.
Eridan swallowed the sudden tightness in his throat.
“Look at me,” Castien said.
Eridan turned around, still kneeling. He lifted his gaze to Castien’s, whose face was unreadable.
“It suits you,” his Master said, touching the gemstone on Eridan’s neck, his fingers brushing against his skin.
Eridan shivered and caught Castien’s hand with his own. Looking his Master in the eye, he brought the hand to his mouth and kissed the black dethrenyte in Castien’s ring, the gemstone that had once been Castien’s own thaal. It wasn’t the first time he’d done this—far from it—but he had never meant it more.
“I will not let you down,” he said softly. “I promise you: you won’t regret this, Master.”
Something flickered in Castien’s eyes.
He stared at Eridan and gave a clipped nod. “The thaal has the additional benefit of helping you focus. It should help you fight the nausea you feel at the contact of another telepath’s mind. Just focus on my mark and it should ground you. What happened with Master Tker today should not happen again. It should not feel as intrusive, because the thaal will shield you from the worst of it.”
Eridan bit his bottom lip and nodded, feeling stunned. It was the first time in his memory that Castien had allowed someone to bend his rules. Despite Eridan completely failing to follow his orders, his Master hadn’t cast him aside but instead basically allowed him to cheat by giving him the easy solution to his problem with Tker. It was so unlike him.
“Thank you, Master,” Eridan said, his voice thicker than he would have liked. Looking Castien in the eye, he turned Castien’s hand and pressed his lips against his palm. It was warm and dry. “I will not bring shame to your name.”
The blue eyes bored into him for a moment before Castien retrieved his hand and walked to the window. “I still expect you to stop relying on me in the future. Now go to bed. It is late.”
Eridan nodded and turned toward the door.
“Eridan.”
He looked back. “Yes, Master?”
“Call my servant and tell him to come.”
Eridan pursed his lips, glaring at Castien’s wide back. It was the middle of the night—Javier was almost certainly asleep—but he knew Castien didn’t care about inconveniencing a mere servant.
Scowling, he bit out, “Yes, Master.”
He was still fuming when he called Javier and was still fuming as he got into bed.
He was still fuming as he tried not to think about what poor Javier must be doing for his Master at that moment.
With your face, you will spend all your time on your knees or on your back
, servicing Master after Master.
Was that how Javier spent time with his Master? On his knees and his back?
Eridan squeezed his eyes shut and had to employ meditation techniques in order to calm down.
Stop thinking about it, dammit.
The important part was, he was a real apprentice now. The fate of a servant would never befall him now. He was an apprentice. The first apprentice of Master Castien.
His hand closed on the thaal on his neck. The gemstone felt warm to the touch, emanating his Master’s telepathic mark.
Poor Javier would never know this.
Eridan could only pity him.
Chapter Six: A Merge
One year later
“What are you sulking about, Eridan?”
Eridan flinched and looked at Gaina, and then at the other apprentices beside her. Out of all his fellow apprentices, he liked Gaina the best, but he wasn’t really in the mood to talk to her, much less to talk about what was really bothering him. She wouldn’t understand, anyway. None of them would. They would probably laugh at him—if they actually unclenched a little and allowed themselves to laugh.
Eridan pursed his lips, feeling very much alone. He had thought—hoped—that once he became one of them, he would feel more included, but he still didn’t quite fit in, even after more than a year as an official apprentice. Most of the time, Eridan didn’t mind—he didn’t spend enough time with the other apprentices to care—but the chasm between him and them became glaringly obvious when his Master was away and Eridan was forced to spend his time with them.
Salah looked at him with barely contained disdain. “I’m sure he’s moping because he misses Master Idhron. We all know what a big baby Eridan is.”
Eridan gave him a pleasant smile. “There’s no need to sound so jealous, Salah. It’s not my fault your Master doesn’t give a shit about you.”
An angry flush appeared on Salah’s face. Honestly, it was kind of hilarious that all these hypocrites acted as though they were so much better than him just because they could fake humility, control over their emotions, and obedience better than him.
“You’re delusional if you think Master Idhron cares about you,” Salah said. “Master Idhron doesn’t care about anyone, much less about an overly emotional, disobedient failure of an apprentice he was saddled with.”
Eridan counted to ten. Calm. He could be calm.
“My Master chose me,” he said evenly.
Salah snorted. “Come on, we all know how you got him to choose you.” He leered, looking at Eridan’s lips. “You must be exceptionally talented at cock-sucking to make him forget what a failure of an initiate you were—”
Something hot exploded in Eridan’s chest. Before he knew what he was doing, Salah was writhing on the floor, his hands clawing at his throat frantically as an invisible grip constricted his lungs, squeezing.
There were shouts, and then, “Apprentice Idhron! Cease this at once!”
***
Eridan stared sullenly at the desk in the Grandmaster’s office.
“This is your fourth such transgression, Apprentice Idhron,” Grandmaster Tethru said gravely, closing Eridan’s file.
Eridan resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He hated the grandfatherly act Tethru put on. It didn’t suit him. There was no grandfatherly bone in Tethru’s body. Privately, Eridan thought Tethru just tried to act like Grandmaster Kato, who had actually been ancient and grandfatherly. Eridan kind of missed the old man: he’d actually smiled sometimes.
“Yes, Grandmaster,” Eridan said in his meekest voice. Tethru didn’t tolerate disrespect. He also liked it when people called him by his title and acted as submissive as possible around him. Eridan despised the man, but he knew better than to show it. His Master had taught him better.
“I see that in the past Grandmaster Kato left it at Master Idhron’s discretion to handle your punishment, but I will not be as lenient—”
“When is Master coming back?” Eridan said before he could stop himself.
Grandmaster Tethru gave him a withering look.
Eridan hastily dropped his gaze. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you, Your Grace,” he mumbled in his most respectful voice. “You know how much I respect you.” For a moment, he was afraid he was laying it on a bit thick, but he could faintly feel Tethru’s satisfaction at his words. Barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Eridan said, “I’m just… somewhat concerned, Grandmaster. Master said he would come back in a month, but he still isn’t back. He hasn’t contacted me, either.”
“Hmm,” Tethru said, looking at him with his shrewd eyes. “I see now what Master Deira meant when she said that you are too attached to your Master, Eridan. Perhaps... Perhaps reassigning you to a different Master is the key to correcting your behavior.”
Panic flared inside him. Swallowing his instinctive No, Eridan forced his voice to sound calm as he said, “No Master would want an apprentice who has a training bond with another Master.”
Tethru smiled genially. “Training bonds are breakable, Eridan. I am sure there are Masters that would be willing to overlook that your mind was touched by another Master.” His eyes swept over Eridan. “Perhaps I can find time for you myself.”
Eridan felt dirty just from his gaze. “With all due respect, Grandmaster, I’m too old to easily switch to a different Master.”
“Hmm. How old are you, again?”
“Twenty, Your Grace,” Eridan said. Too old for you, you pervert.
Tethru raised his eyebrows. “You do not look it.”
Eridan suppressed the urge to scowl. He was perfectly aware that he looked younger, his features too pretty and refined to be considered manly. It was the curse of most throwbacks. Eridan knew he looked like he was sixteen instead of his actual age, which was less than ideal considering that he was dealing with Tethru, who was rumored to have a predilection toward young boys and girls. Eridan didn’t know how truthful those rumors were—no one had ever been able to prove anything—but those rumors had been around for ages, and there was no smoke without fire.
“I’m really twenty, Grandmaster,” Eridan repeated, putting on his sternest expression in the hope that it would make him look older. His heart was pounding, his nerves so frayed he barely stopped himself from touching the thaal around his neck, to feel his Master’s grounding presence. He fisted his blue robe in his hands, to distract himself from touching the gemstone. Tethru hated his Master. Drawing his attention to Castien’s thaal would only make the situation worse; Tethru might take him away from Castien out of spite. Although Eridan had never heard of an apprentice switching Masters, the Grandmaster of the Order had almost absolute power. Anything was possible, considering how much Tethru envied and hated Castien.
“If you are already twenty years old, your transgression is even more serious, Eridan,” Tethru said, with the same saccharine, grandfatherly look that just looked creepy. “You should know better by now. Perhaps I really should handle your punishment myself—”
“That will not be necessary,” a familiar voice said from the doorway.
Eridan’s head whipped around. He broke into a wide, helpless grin. He drank in the sight of his Master’s tall, proud form, not even caring about the cold, warning look he received from Castien. “Master,” he breathed.
Castien walked over and laid a hand on the back of Eridan’s chair. Eridan leaned back, trying to subtly get his Master’s hand on his shoulder instead of that stupid chair. His Master, however, didn’t indulge him. Eridan tried not to pout.
“Your apprentice nearly killed another apprentice today, Idhron,” Tethru said sourly, the air around him full of dislike, no matter how hard Tethru was shielding himself. Tethru could never quite hide his jealousy of the respect Idhron commanded in the Order and his wariness of Castien’s power and ever-growing influence.
Frankly, Eridan still didn’t understand why his Master allowed Tethru to become the Grandmaster after Grandmaster Kato’s death. Everyone knew Castien was the
most powerful mind adept of the Order, both telepathically and politically. And yet his Master hadn’t put himself forward as a candidate when Grandmaster Kato had died. It still baffled Eridan a little.
Castien’s face remained impassive, his blue eyes fixed on Tethru. “Has he,” he said flatly. “I will make sure to punish him accordingly, Grandmaster.”
Tethru huffed. “I’m not sure I trust your judgment on the matter, Idhron. It does not seem the boy has learned his lesson from the previous times Grandmaster Kato allowed you to punish him. Perhaps I should take the matter into my own hands—”
“That is very thoughtful of you,” Castien said, and Eridan’s stomach dropped for a moment before Castien continued. “However, you have so many responsibilities, Your Grace. I cannot possibly ask this of you. But thank you for the kind offer. I have sent my report to your datapad for your perusal. Come, Eridan.”
Without waiting for Tethru’s response, Castien strode out of the room. Eridan hurried after him.
“Master, I—”
“Not now,” his Master bit out, without looking at him.
Eridan shut up.
They walked in silence through the corridors of the ancient monastery.
Eridan looked around curiously. He hadn’t been here often, only the few times he had accompanied his Master to a meeting with some high-ranking outsiders.
The monastery was the oldest part of the High Hronthar, the place their Order originated from. Thousands of years ago, it used to be the Order’s home, their headquarters, but nowadays it was little more than a front. As far as the rest of the planet was concerned, the monastery was the High Hronthar, and that was why all meetings with the outsiders were held here.
Eridan smiled a little at the thought. It always amazed him how utterly clueless the outsiders were. The Council of Twelve Grand Clans thought they were ruling Calluvia, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. The Chapter of the High Hronthar held the real power on the planet, since they controlled the royals and politicians that ruled the planet. In the view of the outsiders, the High Hronthar was just a bunch of monks that dedicated themselves to mind healing and a peaceful, unambitious life. It was kind of hilarious how utterly wrong they were.