Author: Andrew Q. Gordon
Category: LGBT
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When First Kar Dresmun appeared, he cleared his mind and paid closer attention. Time continued to move backward faster than normal, but he slowed it a tiny bit at a time. Just beyond the hill he saw something.
“By the Six!” he whispered and slowed things to half speed.
His prone body flew backward toward the plane of the Door. A shimmering bubble of greenish energy encased him. As Dresmun had said, the Shaman stood on his chest and battled a black, shadowy creature. The demon resembled a harpy, but its determined expression spoke of a greater intelligence.
Farrell allowed the image to continue backward until his feet disappeared into the Door. Then he stopped the spell and pushed time to move forward again at a quarter normal time.
The green energy already surrounded him when he emerged. Basje sat cross-legged, hovering just above Farrell’s body, ready for a fight. Before Farrell’s head cleared the portal, the wraithlike creature seeped out of the lines of Door energy.
The Shaman remained calm as he chanted his defense. Farrell thought he looked as if things were going according to a prearranged plan. The demon immediately tried to pull away, only to be blocked by the green energy. Farrell thought he saw surprise and fear in the creature’s eyes.
He followed the battle over the hill. Before Farrell’s body struck the ground, the Shaman changed tactics. He drew the demon’s struggling form into himself. Bit by bit the dark creature disappeared into Basje’s motionless frame.
Once he absorbed the last of the dark being, the Shaman separated from Farrell as if blasted away. Keeping Basje in sight, Farrell crested the small hillock. A cloud of dust mushroomed from the ground as Basje landed hard. From the way he hit, the Shaman was either unconscious or dead on impact.
Farrell directed his mind’s eye to zoom in on the body. Basje must have known what would happen when they arrived. Why hadn’t he warned Farrell? How did keeping Farrell ignorant help the situation?
Staring at the still body, Farrell realized his answers had died with the Shaman. It didn’t make sense. Farrell held the fate of Nendor in his hands and had to act without fully understanding the situation. Rather than tell Farrell what he knew, Basje had shrouded everything in secrecy and deception.
Farrell inspected the body a last time. Whatever small bit of information he’d gleaned drowned in the ocean of new questions.
“Chosen.” The Shaman’s eyes opened wide, and he stared at Farrell.
“Impossible.” Not only was the Shaman dead, Farrell wasn’t there for him to interact with.
“Chosen,” Basje said. “Attend me. I have much to tell you.”
“YOU CAN’T stay!” Kel shouted into his mind. “This is not a matter for debate!”
“Grandfather.” Farrell wanted to do what Kel ordered him but could not. “We’ve been over this several times already. You know I’m right.”
“Do not presume you know what I think.” Kel’s reaction told Farrell the old man agreed with him but didn’t want to admit it.
“This Door must be closed. If the demons get through, they’ll turn our world into this barren wasteland.” Farrell tried not to sound annoyed.
“Need I remind you of your other duty?” Kel asked.
“Meglar won’t matter if we fail here.” They were arguing in circles again. Kel knew there was no other option but refused to accept it.
“Let another deal with this. You are too important to sacrifice.”
“Who?” Farrell asked. “Even you conceded you can’t close the Door. If not you, then who? You know there’s no one else.”
“So you’re leaving Meglar for me and the others to deal with?” Now Kel was trying guilt.
“Who said I’m staying here?” Farrell asked. “Once I close the Door, I’ll make my own passage home. One that can’t be reopened after I leave.”
“And if you can’t open a new Door, what then?” Kel raised a point Farrell didn’t want to dwell on too long. If he failed to open a new Door, he would be trapped here, alone against a world of angry and frustrated demons. “Without you, we are at a disadvantage in our fight against Meglar.”
“Meglar is no longer our most dire threat.” Farrell didn’t know what else to say that he hadn’t already. “If these demons come through, they’ll join forces with Meglar. What then?”
“You don’t know that,” Kel said. “They’re just as likely to see Meglar as an enemy as a friend.”
“Or maybe Meglar sent forces to Bendar to capture the Door.” All he had to go on was a hunch, but he was certain he was right. “This place stinks of Neblor.”
“More reason for you to come back,” Kel said. “If this is part of Neldin’s plan, you’re needed here to lead the fight.”
Farrell shook his head even though Kel couldn’t see him. “You said before there are other options if I were to die. It’s time to give some thought again to whom to select.”
“That decision is not yours to make,” Kel said.
Farrell turned to make sure Jafaga was getting everyone in camp ready to leave. “Yes, Grandfather, it is.”
He didn’t need Kel to confirm what they both knew.
“Why are you convinced we can’t bar the demons from Bendar? If we can’t close it, together we can find a way to seal this Door.”
“Find a way to do that and I’ll come home.” Farrell wished this were possible. “They tried your suggestion and it failed.”
“Those who tried are not you and me,” Kel said with a hint of humor.
“No, they’re not, but this is also no ordinary Door.” He smiled despite what was happening. “The black magic that corrupts the energy frame has thwarted every attempt to seal the portal. Unless you can find a way to attach the cover onto the lines of energy, it will allow our enemy to come through.”
“Better to try first before you concede its failure,” Kel said.
“We’ve been over this already.” Farrell appreciated his grandfather’s refusal to give up, but it cut into the time he needed to prepare. “I need to close the Door from this side and I need to do it now. The Shaman gave his life to save mine so I could do just that. Right now, every demon in the world is converging on the Door. Once they have the numbers, they’ll launch an attack. The Bendari can’t hold it back long and if we lose this foothold, we won’t be able to reestablish it.
“Unmaking the Door is too difficult to rush. Delay too long and I won’t have time to close it. I have to do it before they attack.”
“He condemned you to a terrible death,” Kel said. “Saving you to die at the hands of the demons was no gift.”
“I told you, I don’t plan to die here, Grandfather.”
“How do you plan to open a Door when the world is already controlled by another?”
Farrell paused a moment before speaking. Something about Kel felt off. He couldn’t say what, but his grandfather wouldn’t have asked him that. “I’d rather not say. Should the enemy learn what I plan, they might prevent me from getting home. Let it be a surprise to all.”
“Now you don’t trust me?” Kel’s anger furthered Farrell’s unease.
“The Shaman believed the enemy could use the Door to hear our words, even those spoken mind-to-mind.” Farrell didn’t know how that could be, but Basje was clear. “If that’s true, I’d prefer they not hear what I plan.”
“In all my years I’ve never heard of such a thing,” Kel said. “But the Shaman studied this magic in greater detail than I. You are wise to heed his warning.”
Farrell watched the Bendari form ranks as if they were defending the Door. “It’s time to go, Grandfather. If the Shaman was right, they know we don’t intend to defend this position any longer.”
“Work quickly, Grandson,” Kel said.
“Grandfather.” Farrell paused, unsure if he should continue.
“I’ll see you when you are home,” Kel said. “Be careful.”
Chapter 9
THE BENDARI broke camp and packed everything away. The warriors milled abo
ut waiting for their orders. Off to his left, every free shaman filled stones Farrell planned to use to create a new shield. With so many helpers, he had enough energy to run the shield at full power for at least a day. It was time for everyone to leave.
“First Kar.” He made eye contact with the Bendari leader. “Can I speak with you and Shaman Jafaga in private, please?”
“At once, Favored One. Let me find her.” He nodded and disappeared into the crowd. Less than a minute later he reappeared with Jafaga at his side.
“How may we serve you?” Dresmun asked.
Farrell pointed toward the Door. “Take your warriors home. They’ve fought bravely to keep this space free, but their work is done.”
Dresmun looked to Jafaga and then back to Farrell. “Now?”
“Yes. Everyone needs to go home before I can close the Door.”
“Favored One, everyone cannot leave. A Bendari doesn’t fight alone.”
“This isn’t a request, First Kar. I’m telling you to go.” Farrell met the man’s gaze with unwavering resolve. “You all need to go now.”
Dresmun stood a bit taller and shook his head. “You may be the Favored One, but you do not command us.”
Reaching into his pocket, Farrell withdrew the Shaman’s silver torque. “As Shaman of the Bendari, I do command everyone.”
Jafaga gasped. “How came you by that?”
“The Shaman gave it to me.”
“Impossible!” Jafaga moved a step closer, then stepped back. “It was around his neck when we took him home. That can’t be the real one.”
“Touch it.” He held it out. “Despite your words, you know it’s real.”
“This can’t be.” She ran a finger over the metal and yanked her hand back as if burned. “There is no way you should be able to hold the Shaman’s torque.”
“And yet I have it and it does not reject me.” Farrell rolled it in his hand and eyed them both. “Now that you’ve confirmed it’s real, you know I could not hold it if I were not the new Shaman.”
Doubt clouded Jafaga’s features. Dresmun looked confused but kept silent.
“Basje gave it to me because he knew you wouldn’t listen when I told you to go home. The only way you will leave is if the Shaman ordered you. As Shaman, I’m doing just that.” Farrell put the talisman back in his pocket. “It was his desire that you leave this forsaken place before I close the access to Bendar. I mean to honor that wish.”
“The Shaman’s word is law.” Jafaga sounded as if she were trying to find a loophole. “But how is this possible?”
“Basje came to me in what I thought was a dream. He told me I needed to save his people. That they would resist leaving and that only with this”—he patted his pocket—“would the clans obey me. When I opened my eyes, the torque was in my lap.”
“It went back to Bendar.”
“Maybe She Who Guides or Esward sent it to me, or maybe Basje isn’t dead. I don’t know how he did it, but you confirmed it’s real.”
He didn’t know which of his words convinced her, but Jafaga nodded her agreement. She turned to Dresmun. “Gather your warriors, First Kar. You and they are going home.”
Dresmun crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. “No. He is the Shaman of the Bendari. While there is life in our bodies we must defend him. Of all our people, the Shaman must not fight alone.”
Farrell held up two fingers to prevent Jafaga from answering. “Ask the other shamans to finish with my stones and have them prepare to turn over control of their shield to me. Once that is complete, send them home.”
“As you command, Shaman.” She bowed and left.
When it was just Farrell and Dresmun, the first kar shook his head again. “You can command all you will, but I’ll not go without a fight. As first kar, my responsibility is to guard you with my last breath. Were I to allow the Shaman to die alone, the Bendari would expel my clan and my name would be cursed for all time.”
Farrell hadn’t expected this argument. “Will you at least give the order to send the others home?”
They stared at each other and Farrell gave nothing away. Finally, Dresmun blinked, turned toward his warriors and pointed. “Second Kar!”
A woman stepped forward. “Take everyone home. The Fav…. Shaman and I are to remain.”
She hesitated and appeared confused. “First Kar?”
“Take everyone home to receive the glory they deserve for saving our people. I must remain to guard the Shaman as he closes the Door.”
Whether it was his tone or a desire to be gone, the second kar saluted them and spun around. Farrell heard her voice but didn’t listen to the words. As the assembled force began to move, he motioned for Dresmun to walk with him away from the Door.
“You honor me with your courage,” he said when they’d gone some distance. “But you must go. Your presence will only hinder me.”
“I will remain out of the way until you close the Door. Then we will meet our deaths together as is the way of the Bendari.”
Farrell bristled a bit at the constant schooling of what it meant to be a Bendari. But the Shaman had warned him this would happen, so he brushed it aside. “No, First Kar, if you remain, only you will die. I intend to make it back to Bendar, but I can’t if I have to save you as well.”
“Can you guarantee you will make it home?”
“No, but I can guarantee that if you stay you will die. I will too since I wouldn’t leave you here. That is not acceptable.”
“A kar’s only duty when in the presence of the Shaman is to defend him with his life.”
“And that absolute applies only in the presence of the Shaman?”
Dresmun eyed him suspiciously. “If you think you can get me to leave by removing yourself from my company, you are mistaken.”
“No, I simply want to know how far that obligation extends.” He tried to read the man’s face but saw nothing. “If I were not the Shaman, you would not be bound to remain, would you?”
“Someone would have to remain behind. As I’ve said, a Bendari does not fight alone. As first kar I could order someone else to stay, but I would not. No kar worth his snowshoes would order another to certain death.”
“So had I not become the Shaman, I would not have been a Bendari.” He tried to couch it the right way.
“Correct. As Favored One we respect you, but only the Shaman or She Who Guides could name you a Bendari.”
“I see.” Farrell nodded and turned back toward the Door. He didn’t feel good about what he was about to do, but he needed Dresmun and the others to go. “Prepare to go home, Dresmun. I’m sending the torque back to Bendar with Jafaga. Once it is gone, I will no longer be the Shaman or a Bendari. She Who Guides isn’t here, and I refuse to use my power to make me one of your people. You have no obligation to protect me.”
“Shaman.” Dresmun shook his head, but his defiance had dissipated. “How could I look at my reflection again, let alone lead my clan, if I leave you alone in this gods-forsaken place?”
“You will be able to do both, because leaving will give me a chance to survive. If you stay all you will do is hinder my escape.” Farrell held up his hand to forestall any protest. “I know you can’t feel their presence like I can, but those creatures know we are up to something. Once I begin to take down the Door, they will make every effort to stop me.”
“Then have Shaman Jafaga remain as well. If you ask for her help, she’ll stay.”
“I don’t need any help.” Farrell heard the irritation in his voice and closed his eyes. After a deep breath, he opened them. “I can keep them at bay and close the Door by myself. After that, I need to be free to act alone to try to get home.”
“Try? Didn’t you say you were confident you could do it?”
“Nothing is certain, but as I keep saying, if you stay, we will both die.”
“Then neither of us will die alone.”
Farrell pulled a small leather bag from his pocket. “You can’t stay. I need
you to take this to Kel… the Ancient One.”
“If you don’t expect to die, take it to him yourself.” Dresmun raised an eyebrow. “Otherwise, I will stay.”
“There are some risks that are too great to take.” He held out the bag. “Trust me that I know a way to get home. It should work, but I can’t guarantee it will. If I fail, this is too valuable to remain on this world. It also contains a message for my life partner and children.”
Dresmun accepted the bag. “For a man who is confident he will make it home, you spent a lot of time preparing for the worst.”
“Only a fool would ignore the possibility I might not make it back,” Farrell said with a rueful smile. “It would hamper the fight against Meglar and Neldin if our side did not have those.”
“Those?” Dresmun eyed the bag in his hand. “What could be so important in such a small bag?”
“The Gifts of the Gods.” Farrell stared at Dresmun, hoping he’d see some recognition of what he held. “Six of the seven Gifts are in that bag.”
Dresmun checked the heft of the bag twice before he looked up. Farrell met his gaze and nodded. “Now you understand why they must go back.”
“Another could take it. Jafaga or another shaman.”
“Go home, First Kar Dresmun. You’ve done more than your share to protect Bendar and Nendor.” Farrell sensed an opening. “Go home and celebrate the victory your people’s bravery made possible. If I die here, honor me by living well. Be happy, raise your family, and protect your people. Even one more needless death will make this a hollow victory.”
“I can’t leave you, Favored One. It goes against everything my people believe.”
“Unless your people believe I should die, you need to go. If you stay, I will die. I can’t say it any plainer than that.” He put his hand on the Dresmun’s shoulder. “You have done all you can for me. Now you must look to the well-being of your clan. To do that, you need to go and be an example of all that is good about your people. She Who Guides will understand.”