Author: Margaret Lashley
Category: Humorous
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/margaret-lashley/page,15,588309-scatman_dues_freaky_florida_mystery_adventures_book_6.html
“What did you do to him?” I asked Jimmy again, my hand on Earl’s chest. “He’s still breathing, thank God!”
“Nothing,” Jimmy said. “I only knocked him down, just to disorient him for a minute until you two could get here.”
“Oh,” I said, and slapped Earl gently on his cheeks, trying to rouse him. “Sorry about kicking you in the gut. I didn’t realize it was you. You’ve put on a few pounds since I saw you last.”
“Don’t worry. It didn’t hurt much,” Jimmy said, then rubbed his massive belly.
A branch snapped in the forest nearby. Silently, we all exchanged glances. Jimmy’s head jerked in the direction of the noise. His eyes narrowed. “Look,” he whispered, “like I said, I’ll explain later. But we need to get out of here, and fast.”
“Okay,” Grayson said. “Help me get Earl to his feet.”
“No time for that,” Jimmy said, his eyes growing wilder.
“We can’t just leave him here!” I hissed.
“No,” Jimmy said. “Stand aside. I’ll get him up.”
I shook my head. “How?”
“With this. Now step aside.”
The young cop knelt beside Earl and held up a small orb. “Hey, buddy,” he said, slapping Earl’s face a bit harder than I had. “You looking for this?”
Earl’s eyes fluttered open. He grunted, then began flailing his arms and legs like a turtle trying to turn itself over.
“Grab him,” Grayson said. “Or he’ll head off into the woods.”
“No he won’t,” Jimmy said. “Let him be. He’ll follow me.” He turned back to face Earl. “Right, buddy?”
Jimmy got off his knees. Earl scrambled to his feet.
“It’s right here,” Jimmy said, holding up the orb. “Come and get it!”
Jimmy took off toward the RV. Earl fumbled at first, then found his bearings and stumbled after Jimmy like an inebriated hippo.
“Wow,” I said, sloshing through the swampy muck with Grayson. “That was weird.”
“I agree,” Grayson said. “Jimmy runs surprisingly fast for a fat man.”
WHEN WE ARRIVED BACK at the RV, Jimmy was dancing around beside it, playing keep-away with Earl.
“Hurry!” Jimmy yelled as Grayson and I sprinted toward him. “We’ve only got a few seconds before he goes nuts! You still have that monster trap in the back bedroom of this RV, right?”
“Yes,” Grayson said.
“Good.” Jimmy gasped, huffing from exertion. “We need to get Earl in there. Now!”
Garth flung open the side door to the RV. “Jimmy! It’s you!”
“Yes, it’s me. Now step aside, little brother. You’ve got company!”
Jimmy ran past Garth and into the RV. Earl bumbled behind him like a muddy Frankenstein. I ran up to the door and looked inside, stunned to see Jimmy take the round object in his hand and fling it down the hallway toward the bedroom. Earl scrambled past him down the hall like a rabid dog after a filet mignon.
“Hurry! Lock him in!” Jimmy yelled at me.
“Why?” I asked. “I don’t understand.”
“I’ll explain once we’ve got him secured,” he yelled back. “Come on! He’ll realize he’s been duped any second.”
I eyed Jimmy skeptically. “I don’t think you know Earl like I do.”
“No, I don’t,” Jimmy said. “But I know the craving.”
My gut flopped. “The craving?”
“Yes. Now lock him up in there—before it’s too late!”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Grayson checked the eight locks sealing Earl into the back bedroom monster trap, then shot Jimmy a thumb’s up. “Well, we won’t have to worry about your cousin wandering off to a buffet again any time soon. Thanks again for your help getting him to go in there.”
“Glad to be of service,” Jimmy said. He peeked nervously out the blinds. “But I think we should get a move on, just in case we were followed.”
“Good thinking,” Grayson said, and walked to the driver’s cab.
Jimmy and I followed him, vying for the empty passenger seat. I won. I flopped into my chair and celebrated with a Tootsie Pop. Jimmy stood in the gangway between us like a bodyguard, holding onto the back of both seats.
Grayson cranked the engine and eased the RV off the muddy shoulder of the road.
“Thanks for talking Garth into following us back with Earl’s truck,” Jimmy said. “I need to talk to you two—alone.”
“It was the logical thing to do,” Grayson said, slowly driving past Bessie. He gave a quick wave to Garth, who was waiting diligently behind the wheel like a wormy NASCAR reject. “After all, it really is vital to our ongoing investigation.”
“What is?” I asked. “Getting Bessie back to the compound?”
“No,” Grayson said. “Keeping whatever’s going on here with Earl and the Cruller Clan under wraps. Don’t get me wrong, Jimmy. Your brother Garth is a worthy operative. But the man can’t keep his mouth shut to save his soul.”
I couldn’t argue with that.
“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell him about my undercover operation,” Jimmy said.
I nearly swallowed my tonsils. “Wait. You’ve been working undercover?”
I hadn’t raised my voice from surprise, but in order to be heard over the din. Suddenly realizing he was trapped in the back bedroom, Earl began banging on the door and hollering like an astraphobic hound-dog in a raging thunderstorm.
“Uh ... yeah,” Jimmy said. “Not officially, though.” He sighed and shook his head. “I thought I could handle this alone. But now I know I’m in over my head. I could really use your help.”
“So exactly what do you think is going on?” Grayson asked.
Jimmy shook his jowly head. “I’m not sure. But whatever it is, it’s not normal. I’d been trying to keep Garth out of it. But I realized a couple of days ago that I needed backup. That’s why I sent Garth the messages. I figured he would call you guys.”
“He did,” I said. “But your messages to him were pretty much incoherent.”
“I know,” Jimmy said. “That was by design. I was trying to be vague. I wanted Garth to know I was okay, but I couldn’t let him know what I was up to.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“My investigation would’ve been blown in two minutes. You know how he is. He’d have gabbed every bit of information I shared with him to his ham radio buddies. There’d have been a pile of guys tramping around the park before I could finish taking a shower.”
My eyes met Grayson’s. “That’s a very reasonable assumption.”
“I wanted to meet with you,” Jimmy said. “Try to explain things. But when I saw Earl stumble into the Cruller Crew meeting last night, I knew you all had already discovered their secret meeting place. I left a note on Earl’s dash, trying to warn you to keep clear of them.”
“You’re Mr. STAY AWAY,” I said.
“Yes. When I didn’t hear back from Garth, I started texting you instead.”
“I don’t get it,” I said. “You want us to help, but you don’t want us to investigate the Cruller Club?”
“Right,” Jimmy said. “I mean, I want you to, but not yet. You see, I wanted to document the participants first. Tonight, I was planning on videoing the meeting and capturing the faces of the guys under the robes.”
“Why?” I asked.
“As evidence gathering for my investigation,” Jimmy said. Then he hung his head. “And to prove I’m not crazy. I mean, how can you describe what’s going on out there without sounding like a lunatic?”
“Fair enough,” Grayson said, nodding his head. “But no worries there. We believe you. We were with Earl last night. We saw the ceremonies ourselves.”
“Thank goodness!” Jimmy sighed with relief.
“Wait a minute,” I said, elbowing the young cop. “How’d you get my phone number?”
“From Garth’s phone. I found it in my gym bag. Just in time, too.”
“Why�
�s that?” I asked.
Jimmy chewed his lip. “Well, at first, I’d thought this was a simple case of a bunch of rowdy redneck entrepreneurs just letting off steam. But now ... let’s just say that whatever’s going on out there, there’s a lot more to it than that. I’m quite certain of it.”
“Intriguing,” Grayson said. “By the way, have you got any idea what might’ve happened to Wade?”
“Yes,” Jimmy said.
His voice cracked and he let out a small wail. Then he hung his head and whispered, “I killed him.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
If Jimmy was a murderer, he was certainly an extremely repentant one.
He cried all the way to the compound.
After Garth lead us inside and closed the gate, Grayson parked the RV while I settled a sobbing Jimmy into the banquette booth. Then Grayson scooted in opposite him while I put a pot of coffee on to boil.
“Tell us everything,” Grayson said, softly coaxing the distraught, rather portly young cop. “Start from the beginning.”
Jimmy lifted his double-chinned head from the table and sniffed. “It all began last weekend, when I went out to the Hi-Ho with Wade,” he said, his face ashen. “We were out night fishing for catfish when we spotted something glowing in the woods. That’s how we stumbled onto this meeting thing—or whatever it is.”
I handed the poor guy a cup of coffee and slid into the banquette next to Grayson. That put me directly across from Garth, who had his arm laid across his brother’s shoulders.
We didn’t want the tattle-tale there, but we had no choice. Garth had been so thrilled to discover his brother was alive and well that once we got back to their prepper compound, he’d latched onto Jimmy and wouldn’t let go.
I studied the red-nosed, Wayne’s World wannabe and wondered if he’d have given his brother the same love and attention if he knew Jimmy had just confessed to murder.
I turned my gaze to Jimmy and shook my head. I’d have bet money that he was no killer. But then again, I knew all too well that people could harbor surprisingly dark secrets. After all, my cousin Earl was a closet Methodist.
“What happened then?” Grayson asked.
“Wade and I saw the glow in the forest and went to check it out,” Jimmy said, the three of us hanging on his every word. “That’s when we discovered a bunch of guys in robes dancing around a bonfire. We were getting ready to leave when one of them spotted us—and invited me and Wade to join them.”
“Who invited you?” I asked.
“I dunno. Just a random guy from the crowd, as far as I could tell,” Jimmy said. “I didn’t realize what we’d gotten into until I saw the initials on his robe. KFC.” Jimmy hung his head a bit. “I thought it was the, you know. But as it turned out, KFC stands for Kristie’s Frickin’ Crullers.”
“We know,” Grayson said with a quick nod. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s a common mistake.”
I shot Grayson a look, then smiled sympathetically at Jimmy. “It’s okay. We’re with you so far. Go on.”
“Uh ... okay,” Jimmy said. “Anyway, Wade and me were outnumbered. So I whispered for him to just to play along. So that’s what we did.”
“Then what happened,” Grayson asked.
“The guy led us over to a dark-tanned woman wearing a gold robe.”
“That was a woman?” I asked.
“Yeah. She told us to kneel down and stick out our tongues. She dropped something into our mouths and told us to eat it. I pretended to, but spit mine into my palm when no one was looking. But before I could tell Wade not to swallow it, he’d already gulped it down.”
Jimmy’s voice cracked. A tear ran down his cheek. “After that, we danced around the fire with the guys, trying to fit in, you know. A while later, the group broke up. Wade and I went back to my truck, laughing at what a bunch of crazy weirdos those guys were.”
Jimmy looked up, then directly into my eyes. He shook his head. “Everything seemed okay. Like it was just a random, crazy night to remember. Wade got in my truck with me. I drove him back to Juanita’s restaurant and dropped him off at the parking lot. I went home. And that’s—” Jimmy’s voice cracked. “That’s the last time I saw or heard from him.”
Jimmy collapsed onto the table, his head resting atop his crossed arms. “I should’ve warned him,” he mumbled, rolling his head left and right. “It’s all my fault! I killed Wade!”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Garth said, leaning over and hugging his brother.
Grayson cleared his throat. “Until proven otherwise, Jimmy, there’s no evidence Wade is actually dead.”
Jimmy burst into tears. “Then where is he?”
I placed a hand on Jimmy’s. “What Grayson means is, you’re not responsible for whatever’s happened to Wade.”
Grayson’s eyebrow formed a flat line. “That’s not what I said at all. I meant—”
I stomped Grayson’s foot under the table, then whispered softly to Jimmy, “Continue with your story. We need to know all the facts we can if we’re going to figure out what’s really going on here.”
Jimmy raised his head, sniffed, and turned to Garth. “I’m sorry, bro. I didn’t want you to get tangled up in this.”
“Don’t you worry,” Garth said. “Like Pandora said, we’ll figure this out together.”
“If it helps, just think of it like a regular case,” I said to Jimmy. “Right now, we’re investigating a missing person. That’s all. You dropped Wade off Saturday night. Then what?”
Jimmy nodded and straightened his shoulders. “The next morning, Sunday, I called Wade to make sure he was all right. He didn’t answer his cellphone. That wasn’t like him at all. So I went back to Juanita’s restaurant. His truck was still in the lot. That surprised me pretty good.”
“What did you do then?” Grayson asked.
“Well, I checked inside the restaurant. He wasn’t there. So I went into the park. I thought I’d find him hurt or snake bit on one of the trails in the Hi-Ho. I spent the whole day walking trails out there, but I couldn’t find a footprint, a cigarette butt, nothing. It’s like he vanished without a trace.”
Grayson glanced over at me. “Sounds familiar.”
Chapter Forty
Jimmy sat back in the banquette and shook his head. He’d confessed to being the last one to see his friend Wade, but from what I could tell, Jimmy very much hoped to see his friend again—alive and kicking.
“I think we can guess why you didn’t call the cops about Wade going missing,” Grayson said.
“What good would it do?” Jimmy said. “I knew even if I filed a missing person report, the other cops wouldn’t take it seriously. At least not for another couple of days, anyway. If Wade was out there hurt in the woods, I knew I might be his only hope to make it out alive.”
“So that’s where you’ve been all this time,” Garth said.
“Yeah. I walked the Hi-Ho trails till sunset on Sunday. Then, as I was getting ready to head home for the night, I thought about those guys dancing around the fire in robes. I started wondering if they had something to do with Wade going missing.
“Either way, I couldn’t leave Wade alone out there. So I called in sick Monday, then asked for the rest of the week off on vacation. I’ve been camping out in the Hi-Ho—I mean Edward Medard Park—ever since.”
“What’ve you been doing with your time?” I asked.
“Walking the trails by day. Watching the Cruller meetings by night. I’ve been lurking in the bushes, trying to make out what’s going on. But I bring the robe with me that they gave us. And I even sent away for a sword—you know, so I’d fit in better—in case I needed to infiltrate the meetings. I wanted to see if Wade came back or was being held against his will. But I haven’t seen him since.”
“Wade’s been gone five days now,” I said. “Isn’t it time you requested backup from the other cops on the force?”
Jimmy winced. “I’m trying to lay low. I’m worried they’ll book me for Wad
e’s murder. Thanks to that alien invasion thing last summer, most of the guys already think I’m a loose cannon.” Jimmy locked eyes with me. “You remember what happened.”
I grimaced. “Uh, yeah.”
Jimmy sighed and stared at the table. “You know, I still find tinfoil hats in my chair at work sometimes.”
“Alien invasion was a perfectly plausible explanation at the time,” Grayson said, then sniffed. “But let’s get back to the investigation at hand. What evidence have you gathered so far from your undercover operation?”
A tight smile edged the corners of Jimmy’s plump cheeks. “Not a lot. I think the woman in the gold robe is the head of the organization.”
“Did you get a good look at her?” Grayson asked.
Jimmy nodded. “Yeah. She’s young. Maybe thirty, tops. Blonde. Nice-looking face. Pouty lips. Skinny body. Kind of big-bosomed. For some reason, she seems to have some kind of hold on these guys.”
“Gee,” I said. “Imagine that.”
Jimmy locked eyes with me. “No. It’s more than that, Ms. Drex.”
“What kind of control are you talking about?” Grayson asked.
Jimmy’s eyes darted down to the table. “It’s hard to say. She seems to have some kind of ... I dunno ... mind control.”
I shook my head. “What reason would a woman like her have for wanting to control a bunch of pasty, old white guys?”
Jimmy shrugged. “I don’t know. But she calls herself Queen Kristie.”
“Pshaw!” I laughed. “Queen Kristie?”
“Hmm,” Grayson said, rubbing his chin. “Then this woman definitely sees herself as an authority figure. Perhaps even as superior to her subjects.”
I snorted. “A bunch of desperate, overweight, middle-aged hillbillies? Hard not to.”
“But that’s just it,” Jimmy said. “They weren’t overweight. I mean, not at first. And a lot of them drive cars.”
“As opposed to what?” I said. “Spaceships?”
“No,” Jimmy said. “Trucks. These guys park their vehicles along the side roads inside Hi-Ho. There’s only a handful of four-by-fours in the bunch. Some of the license plates are even from outside Polk County. I ran the plates on a few, looking to see if they were relatives of Wade’s or something. One belongs to a mayor. Another’s a high-school principal. One’s a fry cook at Wendy’s.”