Author: Andrew Mackay
Category: Humorous
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/andrew-mackay/page,13,517729-star_cat_infinity_claws_a_science_fiction_and_fantasy_adventure_the_star_cat_series_-_book_1_2nd_edition.html
The technician was not lying.
All of these things were true. Once powered off for energizing, the Androgyne system underwent a "crypt-wipe’ - ergo, it forgot everything it ever knew in an instant.
When Androgyne 1.0 learned of her non-human status, she flipped out and attacked the technician. It took fifteen of his colleagues around three minutes, which is a very long time by anyone’s measurements, to pull the droid off the man and power her down.
The off switch was relocated in the recent 2.0 upgrade - from inside the left thigh, to the forearm, complete with protective casing.
It was a commonly held misconception that Androgyne would be readily available for home use by the year 2110. Due to its violent and erratic nature, it was sold to USARIC by Manning/Synapse for $10 bn for exclusive space exploration use.
The lab technician continues to eat his meals through a straw some sixteen years later…
***
Wool ar-Ban spent a good hour or so chasing Jelly around the mid-section of the vessel. The cat had had a good work out and felt fatigue start to set in.
Jelly accidentally found her way to Botanix. She clawed at the glass door, wanting to get into the vast green playground that tempted her from the other side of the screen door. It was an area she remembered well from the tour of the ship.
A place to play.
Wool stepped after her and placed her hands on her hips. "You want to go in and see the plants?"
"Meow."
Jelly ran her claws along the glass a second time, demanding satisfaction.
The door slid open before Wool had a chance to explain to her new feline friend that it might not be a good idea.
"Jelly," Haloo emerged from behind her computer terminal and chuckled as Jelly darted through the first row of plants. "Oh, my. She’s a curious one, isn’t she?"
"Thanks for opening the door," Wool said, sarcastically. "We’ll never catch her, now."
"Ah, she’ll be fine," Haloo watched Jelly rummage around the soil, looking for something to kill. "The door is closed. She can’t get lost in here."
"How is everything?" Wool asked.
"Still turning carbon dioxide into oxygen if that’s what you mean."
Wool took in the impressive view of various plant life. The rows were illuminated by a set of powerful lamps hanging from the ceiling.
"Would you like some fresh H2O?"
"Yes," Wool followed Haloo over to a unit in the corner of the room. "Jelly’s tiring herself out. She’s already had a go on my inner-suit."
"Got some sharp claws on her, huh?"
"You could say that," Wool inspected her sleeve and tugged a string of fabric away. "She must be thirsty."
"Call her over. I’ll fix a saucer for her."
Haloo pressed a button on the machine and held a paper cup under the nozzle. The unit hummed to life and released a jet of ice-cold water.
"Here, get your lips around this."
"Thanks.
Wool took a sip and felt a shiver roll down her spine. "Mmm. That’s crazy good."
"I know, right?"
Jelly snaked in and out of the bamboo plants. She bent over and patted her knees "Jelly? Come here, girl."
"Meow."
Jelly was too preoccupied with her new playground to obey any orders.
Haloo shook her head and giggled, "How on Earth did she pass the obedience test?"
"No idea."
"This is silly," Haloo stood up straight and removed a paper cone from the holder. She slid her fingernail under the glue and bent the edges out, "Maybe she’ll respond to this."
Haloo held the makeshift paper saucer under the water nozzle and filled it half way.
"Ooh, you’re good," Wool chuckled. "I’ll have a refill after you’re done with her."
"Sure," Haloo set the half-full paper saucer onto the floor and squatted in front of it. She clapped her hands together and whistled. "Jelly? Come, get some fresh."
"Meow."
Jelly knew exactly what was on offer and ran out from the plants. She screeched to a halt on her paws and helped herself to the water.
"Good girl," Haloo aided Jelly’s drinking session by rubbing her back, "You’re such a cute little thing, aren’t you?"
"Don’t let her charming exterior fool you, Haloo," Wool laughed and refilled her paper cone. "She’s a vicious little thing when she wants to be.’
"Yes, but she’s our vicious little thing," Haloo giggled and ran her palm over Jelly’s head as she drank from the saucer. "When is she due for installation?"
"The Infinity Claws operation only takes twenty minutes, but she’ll need an hour of R and R after we’re done."
"How’s her paw-eye coordination?"
"Did you see her entrance a few minutes ago?" Wool licked her lips with excitement, "It’s on point."
"Aww."
Haloo couldn’t resist Jelly’s adorableness. "Such a good little girl, aren’t you? Yes. Yes, you are."
Jelly purred loudly as she sucked down the last drop of water.
"Come here," Haloo scooped Jelly under her stomach and cradled her in her arms. She looked at the cute face staring up at her.
The light from the lamps reflected across Jelly’s eyes. Haloo brushed her thumb over the cat’s face, feeling the soft, voluminous fur.
"Beautiful creature, you are. So healthy. So alive."
Wool smiled and tossed the paper cone in the recycle bin next to the dispenser. "She’s the most perfect cat I’ve ever met in that respect. Not a blemish. Absolutely nothing wrong with her. A truly unique specimen."
"That little boy back home must be missing her," Haloo said, finding it difficult to tear her eyes away from Jelly’s face. "I feel sorry for him. What was his name?"
"Jamie."
"Yeah, I remember now. Jamie."
"He knows she’s in good hands. We’ll look after her."
"Yes, we will," Hallo moved her nose onto Jelly’s and kissed her on the head.
"Meow." Jelly rubbed her face on Haloo’s and licked the ends of her hair.
"Oh. She doesn’t do that with me," Wool said, pretending to take offense. "Well, well, well… talk about allegiance."
"Ha," Haloo chuckled, pulling Jelly’s mouth away from her face, "Well, it could be because I have cleaner hair than you."
"Dry shampoo?" Wool snorted held out her hands, "I doubt that. Pass her over."
"Sure."
Haloo passed Jelly back to her. The cat licked her lips and got comfy in Wool’s arms.
"Swing by Medix when you have time. Don’t be a stranger."
"I will," Haloo smiled and waved at Jelly, "Bye-bye, sweetie. Have a good operation."
"Meow."
USARIC Weapons & Armory
Space Opera Beta - Level Four
A metal boot slammed to the floor.
The laces tightened across the tongue of the boot and squeezed shut. The foot stomped onto the ground three times.
"Pure Titanium, that is," Jaycee said, looking down at his leg, "Absolutely impenetrable."
Baldron Landaker stood beside him, impressed with his colleague’s footwear. "What’s that got to do with weapons?"
"This." Two barrels swung out from the sides of the boot and armed themselves. "Stand back."
"Okay."
Jaycee lifted his knee and aimed it down the shooting gantry.
BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!
Two bullets fired from each cylinder and hit the silhouetted mannequin target. Bits of plastic flew in all directions. Even at a clear fifty-foot distance, the boots provided a remarkably accurate shot.
Baldron waved the smoky residue from his face and pulled the creases out from his inner-suit. "So, if we come across any tangos, we just shoot them with our feet?"
"No, the footwear is for me. I just want you to know I have them."
"Understood."
"Katz wanted me to show you the firepower, so here it is," Jaycee snapped his fingers. "Manuel?"
&nb
sp; The holographic book appeared in the air and hovered around, awaiting instructions. "Yes, Jaycee?"
"Captain Katz has asked me to acclimatize Mr Landaker here with our arsenal. Can you avail Armory One, please?"
"Certainly."
The book flickered into nothingness as Jaycee marched away from the shooting range and into the armory proper. Four bays stood before them, ensconced in the wall.
"Opening bay one…" Manuel’s voice advised.
"Wait till you see this," Jaycee smirked as the bay doors slid open.
Baldron watched in wonder as an infinite assortment of weapons revealed themselves.
"What kinda guy are you?" Jaycee asked, approaching the first bay.
"Eh?" Baldron double-took, snapping out of his mire. "What kinda guy am I?"
"Yeah, you know, slow and measured? Or run-in-and-flank-on-a-whim-and-a-prayer type of guy?"
"Oh," Baldron said, "I’ve flanked a few back in my service days."
"And they thought you were the best for Opera Beta?"
"I guess so."
"You don’t convince me. I can see I’ll have to test you."
Jaycee unhooked a particularly vicious-looking shotgun from within the first bay. He threw the side lever down and cocked the barrel.
"Do you know what this is?"
"A gun?" Baldron tried.
"Very funny," Jaycee flipped the catch down and slammed the under-barrel into his left palm. His right hand squeezed the grip, forcing his index finger around the trigger. "This here is the K-SPARK. Flick the switch down for semi-auto, flip it center for the single-most devastating proton blast the galaxy has ever seen. Don’t point it at anything you don’t want destroyed. Here."
He passed the behemoth to Baldron, who buckled slightly under its sheer weight. "Whoa, this is heavy."
"Yeah, it’s not exactly user-friendly. You should be used to the weight, right? Being an engineer?”
“Definitely. It’s not that heavy.”
“Good. It’s not my weapon of choice for mobility, but when this baby is ground mounted it’ll fend off swathes of bad guys."
Jaycee watched on as Baldron tried to wrap his finger around the trigger. "Be careful with that, pal."
"Why?"
Jaycee flicked the side switch up, locking the trigger down. "I have a feeling if you fire this baby, it’ll jump out of your hands."
"Yeah," Baldron passed the gun back to Jaycee and took note of his huge frame in the process, "Well, not all of us are seven foot tall and built like a brick house."
"And don’t forget it," Jaycee moved to the second bay and grabbed a cylindrical device from the shelf. "Do you know what the difference is between a smart bomb and a dumb bomb?"
He pushed the black grenade into Baldron’s chest. "Uh, no?"
"A smart bomb can be deactivated once the pin is pulled."
Baldron inspected the black grenade. "And a dumb bomb can’t?"
"Correct."
Jaycee pulled the pin out of the grenade, causing Baldron to soil himself. "Guess which one you’re holding?"
"Uh, the d-dumb bomb?"
"Nope," Jaycee slammed the pin back into the grenade and snatch it out of his trainee’s hand. "That would’ve been a dumb move. Smart bombs are black. Dumb bombs are red. Remember that."
"Okay."
"Right, firearms. Ones that won’t slow you down," Jaycee returned his K-SPARK onto its holster. "We have to start you somewhere. I tell you what. We’ll KISS it."
"Kiss it?"
"KISS. Keep it Simple, Stupid,"
Jaycee reached for a mini hand gun in the third bay and threw it into his right hand.
"The Rez-9. The lightest firearm we have. Standard release mechanism. One hundred per magazine. Once you’re used to it it’ll take three seconds to reload."
Jaycee slid the catch back and tilted his head at the sight on the weapon. "Two spare mags sit in the housing for easy refill. See what you think of this."
He tossed it to Baldron, who caught it clumsily in his hands.
"Be careful you don’t blow your thighs open, there."
"Sorry." Baldron held the gun in his hand and pointed it at Jaycee. "Put your hands up, sucker."
Jaycee chuckled to himself and held up his hands. "Oh no, you caught me. What did I do wrong, officer?"
"Ha."
Without warning nor notice, Jaycee swiped the barrel out of Baldron’s hands, locked his arm around his back and buried the barrel of the gun into his temple.
"Agh, help. Help."
"Don’t you ever, ever, point a weapon at people you work with. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, yes," Baldron squirmed in Jaycee’s clutches. "I u-understand. Please let me g-go—"
Jaycee yanked his arm up his back and cocked the gun, threatening to blow Baldron’s brains out.
"—What’s your role on this vessel?"
"I’m… I’m Beta’s engineer, sir."
"First Lieutenant, Mr Landaker," Jaycee shouted in his ear, angrily, "I’m not a sir. What’s the first rule of USARIC’s Infinity Claws, one point one?"
"What?" Baldron asked, about to soil himself. Death was a hair trigger away.
"I said what is the first point in USARIC’s Infinity Claws?"
"That all v-ventures be manned appropriately with just cause and for the benefit of mankind."
"That’s right. Good work," Jaycee released the man and returned the Rez-9 firearm to the first bay.
Jaycee patted Baldron on the back, trying to coax him out of his impending coronary. "I like you, you’re funny."
"I think you broke my arm."
"That’s okay, you know how to replace a damaged limb, don’t you?," Jaycee pushed Baldron in the chest with his huge fist. "Just remember what I said. No funny business."
"Okay, okay," Baldron squirmed. "I’d have to be out of my mind picking a fight with you."
"That’s the second thing you’ve got right. Never forget it," Jaycee stormed away from the armory. "I’ll show you the rest of the arsenal later. Let’s get you strapped up and see how good your aim is."
Jaycee stormed out of the room, leaving a petrified Baldron quaking himself in his shoes. He looked down at his hand, thankful that Jaycee hadn’t seen him swipe a red dumb bomb from the cabinet.
He tucked it in his inner-suit pocket and walked after him.
CHAPTER TEN
Medix
Space Opera Beta - Level three
"Jelly? Can you hear me?"
It was pitch dark. All the cat could hear was Wool’s voice.
A sound of whirring emitted from her claws. Something felt weird.
"Jelly, honey? Open your eyes."
A thin sliver of light crept into her retinas. A pair of blurred paws came into view.
"Meow."
The claws were not a dull gray as she’d expected. Now, they were a unique kind of silver. She pulled her claws in and back out.
An additional side-claw had been clamped to both paws. She moved the tendons back and forth on all four cuticles. A mechanical whirring occurred with each swift action.
Wool peered into view and smiled. "How are you feeling?"
Jelly rolled onto her side and caught sight of her inner-skin suit. The name J. Anderson adorned the side.
A specially-designed scratch post had been instaled at the foot of her surgery bed.
"Meow," Jelly tried to take off her new claws. She needed to use the set on her other paw to do it, but it was no use. She gave up, made her way to the wiry scratch post and dug her shiny new claws right in, stretching them away from her paw.
It felt better.
But those dastardly metallic and sharp additions confused her.
"Opposable thumbs," Wool ran her finger underneath them. She turned the other way to grab something from the surgery bench.
Jelly looked up and managed to make her ‘thumbs’ move, but didn’t have a clue what to do with them.
Wool produced a squishy rubber ball. She p
inched it between her thumb and forefinger. "See?"
"Meow," Jelly tilted her head and observed Wool squeezing the ball in her hand.
"Catch," Wool dropped it on the bed. Instead of catching it in her paw, she accidentally batted it away.
"No, no," Wool caught it as it rolled off the edge of the bench, "Try again. Here…"
Wool rolled the ball gently toward Jelly. She pressed her stomach to the surface of the bed and eyed it with intent.
Jelly waiting for the right moment to pounce.
Then, she launched forward and grabbed the ball with both paws. Her thumb cuticles were wasted on the endeavor.
The pads on her paws kept the ball in place as Jelly sniffed around, ensuring it wouldn’t strike back.
"This is going to take some time to get used to, isn’t it?”
"Meow," Jelly opened her mouth and sunk her fangs into the ball, playing with it.
Katz’s voice appeared in Wool’s ear, "Wool, are we ready, yet?"
"Yes," she held her finger to her ear, "She’s awake and relatively sedentary."
"Glad to hear it. Can we proceed?"
"I think so," Wool held out her hand for the ball. Jelly played with it, reticent to let it go so soon, "Give me the ball, Jelly."
The cat whined and covered it with her paw. She wasn’t done with it yet.
"Jelly, don’t make me ask twice."
"Wool?" Katz asked, "What are you doing? Are you talking to Anderson?"
"I’m waiting for her to stop playing the fool," Wool shot Jelly a stern look and clicked her fingers, "Now, please."
"Meow," Jelly scanned the ball and decided to let it go. Quite by accident, she clutched the ball using her new thumbs and rolled it back to Wool.
"Good girl," Wool pocketed it and held out her arms, beckoning Jelly into them. "Let’s go and do some work."
The Manuel
The Speed of Thought
Pg 773,313
(exposition dump #779/7a)
Pure Genius is a super-computer. Invented by USARIC, it became a revolutionary communication device which changed the course of the future and, in some cases, even the past.
Shortly before his death, Pascal D’Souza worked with USARIC to develop a logical system of interpretation. The result was Pure Genius, a room that harnessed every emotion, physicality and attribute of the user inside it.