Author: TJ Klune
Category: LGBT
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/tj-klune/page,19,514500-heartsong.html
“That’s not like her,” I growled. “She wouldn’t—”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Do you hear yourself? I know it’s a lot, okay? But you have to meet me halfway. You have to listen to what I’m trying to tell you.”
“I don’t even know you,” I said coldly. “If this is all real, then that person you knew, that guy in the photos, on the missing poster, that guy you all seemed to be desperate to find, he’s gone. This is what I am. This is who I am.”
He was angry. It smelled like a forest fire. I wanted it to consume me, to burn the flesh from my bones just so I could find relief from the storm in my head. But it was good. Anger I could deal with. Anger I could handle. The begging, the pleading, the look of cautious hope and affection in his eyes—I didn’t want that.
He spoke as if each word was getting punched out of him. “Memories are all well and good, but they aren’t everything. You’re still you. You’re still the man I lo—”
Words. Like grenades about to explode at my feet. Instead I picked them up and hurled them back. “I don’t love you.”
He paled. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.
I was sweating. Aching. Everything hurt. “I don’t know you. How the fuck could I love you? You have to see that. You said we were mates.”
“We are—”
“Then why don’t I feel you? Mate bonds connect two people. Two halves of the same whole. It’s a gift. A treasure. Something wonderful. And that’s not us. There’s nothing between us. For all I know, this mark I have was put there by your witch. That woman Jessie, she said Ezra put a glamour on me. Covered it up. What if there was nothing there to begin with? What if it was something Gordo did to me? To fuck with my head. To cause as much pain as possible.”
He was shocked. And devastated. The forest fire had turned to ice. It was all blue. “We wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t do that.”
I shrugged. Aloof. Cold. Dismissive. “How the hell am I supposed to know that? I don’t know any of you. Say what you’re telling me is true. It means nothing now. I don’t remember—”
The blue receded. It still pulled at me, but something else replaced it. Something that felt like resolve. He said, “You’re lying.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Really? Listen to my heart, Kelly. Oh. Wait. You can’t do that, can you?”
He didn’t flinch. And I admired him for it. It came out of nowhere, and it slapped me across the face because I was impressed.
Before I could recover, he said three words that sucked the air from the room.
“Do you dream?”
Ah. Ah, god.
He nodded slowly. “You do, don’t you? Dreams of wolves. Of forests. Do you know why?”
I took a step away. He scared me. I didn’t want to hear any more. I put my hands over my ears. I hunched over, trying to block it all.
It didn’t help.
He said, “That was us. We didn’t know if it would work. Even with the combined power of the pack and all those witches who came to help us, we didn’t know if you’d hear us. But you did, didn’t you?”
“No,” I muttered. “No, no, no.”
“It started a few months ago. You dreamed of Alphas. Of wolves in the trees. You saw them. You saw me.”
No.
No.
No.
“A pure white wolf,” he said. “My brother Joe. A black wolf. My brother Ox. You saw us. You saw us.”
And I said, “The wolf wasn’t always pure white.”
Silence.
Then a whisper. “What?”
I gritted my teeth. My head was
(you don’t belong to me you aren’t mine you aren’t MINE but you could be you could be because of who you are)
breaking apart, I was breaking apart, little pieces of me falling away
(i know i know child but you will i promise you will you are important you are special you are)
and I could do nothing to stop it. I didn’t even know if I wanted to stop it.
I heard myself speak.
I said, “There was a white wolf. But he had black. On his chest. And back. And—”
Somewhere above, a woman choked on a sob. It sounded like Elizabeth. Quick and light, a sharp inhalation of breath followed by a stuttering exhale.
I looked up at Kelly as I dropped my hands.
A tear slipped from his right eye onto his cheek.
And he said, “That… that was my father.”
He left a short time later, never having said another word.
high school girls/see you again
He came back the next morning.
I ignored him.
He was fine with it. He had his blanket. And a book. He sat against the wall near the door, opened it, and began to read.
I lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
It was a game.
I would win.
I lasted an hour.
“What day is it?”
He marked his place in his book before closing it and looking up at me. “Wednesday.”
“The date.”
“May twentieth.”
The bridge incident was after the full moon. It’d been over a week. Everyone in Caswell had to know I was gone. I wondered if they were looking for me. They had to know where I was.
I said, “Don’t you have a job or something?”
“I do.” That was it. That was all he said. He was waiting to see if I would ask more.
I wasn’t going to fall for it.
It took two minutes before I couldn’t stand it any longer. “What?”
He arched an eyebrow at me.
I hated him. “What do you do?” Then, as if I couldn’t help myself, “What did I do?”
“You worked at the garage with Gordo and Ox. Chris and Tanner and Rico.”
I was dubious. It made sense, seeing as how much I’d been on the wall, but I couldn’t believe it. “Me.”
“Yeah.”
“But I don’t know anything about cars.”
He smiled. It was quiet and soft, and I forced myself to look away. “Yeah, no. You absolutely don’t. You once caused an engine to catch on fire.”
I scowled at him. “There’s a lot of parts inside—”
“You were supposed to be rotating the tires.”
Well, fuck. “Oh.”
“It was impressive. Rico and Chris put it out before it caused too much damage, but Gordo decided then and there you could never touch a car again. He put you at the front desk answering phones and handling customers. It worked for you. People… they liked you.” I looked up when his voice took an odd tone. “Some of them really liked you. High school girls especially. This one guy kept bringing in his daughter’s car. She swore there was a rattling sound every time she drove it.”
“There was nothing wrong with the car.”
“No. She just liked to put her underage boobs on the counter for you to look at.”
I was scandalized. “I would never—”
He laughed. “I know, but she didn’t. She tried, though. Got to give her some credit.”
“I… liked it? Working there,” I added quickly. “Not the underage… whatever.” I looked down at my hands.
“You did. You made it your own. You updated all the computers, added new programs. Gordo bitched and moaned, but he always does. You could tell….” He cleared his throat. “You could tell he liked having you there. The others did too. One of the guys, I guess.”
“They haven’t been down here,” I said, keeping my voice even.
He said nothing.
I looked back up at him.
He was picking and choosing his words carefully. “They’re giving you space. They don’t want you to be overwhelmed any more than you already are.”
I nodded. That wasn’t all of it. There was something else, something bigger. I was too scared to ask what it was. Knowing meant facing something I wasn’t ready for.
I don’t know what he saw on my face,
but he said, “Maybe we can ask them. You know. To stop by. When they have a moment.”
I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Okay.”
“But that didn’t answer my question.”
“Which one?”
My hands tightened in my lap. “What you do. How you can be here in the middle of the day.”
“I work for the town. So does Carter.”
That wasn’t surprising. “Doing…?”
“He’s the mayor of Green Creek.”
My head shot up so hard, my neck cracked. “He’s what?”
He was struggling not to laugh. “Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction too. You saw how the humans in town didn’t seem too fazed by werewolves?”
My head spun. “That’s another thing that doesn’t make sense. How the hell did they find out?”
He sobered a little. “When Michelle sent the hunters to Green Creek, they went after the whole town. Cut us all off in the middle of a snowstorm. It was unavoidable that the people would find out about us. About the pack. You can’t go to war in the streets without repercussions. The storm was bad and a lot of people had already evacuated, but many stayed. And they were caught right in the middle. Rico’s girlfriend—the woman in the truck who saw you when you were running crazed through town—”
“I wasn’t crazed, what the hell—”
“Sure you weren’t,” he said. “She owns a bar in town. Called the Lighthouse. Bambi gathered everyone who remained—”
“Bambi,” I repeated.
He nodded. “Bambi.”
“The fuck.”
He was solemn when he said, “You don’t want to underestimate her. She will kick your ass. She almost shot Mark in the head after he backhanded Mom accidentally on purpose.”
I swallowed my tongue.
He waved it away. “The Omega in him was eating him whole. He’s better now.”
“That’s good,” I said faintly.
“Anyway, Carter was in the bar and shifted in front of all of them because the timber wolf was trying to kill Mark and Gordo—”
“What is wrong with this town?” I whispered fervently.
“—and all the humans saw everything. And then a few days later, the main hunter—a woman named Elijah—tried to blow up the bar with everyone inside. But she failed and only ended up killing herself. And everyone pretty much saw all of it. So that’s how they found out about werewolves.”
He said it like it was nothing, like he wasn’t upending the entire world. “And they just accepted it.”
He sounded amused when he said, “Mostly. There were a few outliers. People who couldn’t handle it. People who were afraid.”
I hesitated. Then, “Did you kill them?”
“Uh, no?” He was baffled. “Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “How else would you stop them from telling everyone?”
He snorted. “So you automatically went with murder. Good job.”
“Hey!”
“The few who couldn’t deal, they….” His brow furrowed. “Well. Gordo altered their memories. Took it all away.”
“Like father, like son.” I meant it as a halfhearted joke, but the words were bitter, and it fell flat.
His gaze sharpened. His voice was hard. “No. Not like that at all. Gordo isn’t his father. He did what he did to protect us. And to protect the humans. He did it so no one would get hurt. As for the ones who remember, they’re not pack. Think of them as pack-adjacent. We don’t have bonds with them, but we do have an understanding. We protect them. This place. Green Creek is….”
“Different.”
He nodded. “It is. Our family has been here for a long time. Generations. The land here, it isn’t like it is anywhere else. There’s a power to it. It sings. I think it was always meant for wolves.”
“And all of this somehow led to Carter becoming the mayor.”
“Weird, right? I don’t even really know how it started. I think someone said something to him, and the next thing I knew, elections were being held and he was running unopposed. The previous mayor decided it was better if there was someone younger running the town. And since we already own most of Green Creek, it was easier if it was one of us. Keeps things simple.”
Jesus Christ. Michelle had to have known about all of this. And she kept it from me. “And you work for him?”
He blushed a little like he was embarrassed. “I’m a deputy.”
“What.”
He rolled his eyes. “We had a couple of deputies here, but one of them died because of the hunters. We didn’t want something like that to happen again, so it just made sense that we had someone who knew what they were doing.”
“What,” I said again.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “Get it all out. I’ve heard it all. Rico kept asking me if I was going to pitch my own TV show. Called it Werewolf Cop. Said we’d make a fortune in merchandising and syndication.” He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. “Not a bad idea if you think about it.”
“This is stupid,” I said. “All of this is stupid.”
He sighed. “And yet, it’s the way things are. You….” He trailed off, looking distant.
I didn’t want to know. “I what?”
He ran his fingers over the pages of his book. I could just make out the cover, a snarling dog underneath the word Cujo. “You were excited about it,” he finally said. “When I told you. I wasn’t sure it was for me, but you said I would do a good job. That people would rest easier knowing I was out there.” He took a deep breath. “Because you felt the same way. Knowing I was there.”
I couldn’t find a single word to say. It was all too much. This life. We were talking about me, but it might as well have been someone else entirely.
He shrugged awkwardly. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything. It’s just the way it is. Or was.”
I nodded as I swallowed, throat clicking.
He smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Maybe we should—”
I stood. “They’re coming down.”
“Who?” He fumbled with the book, dropping it to the floor as he stood.
“Alphas,” I growled.
Ox came through the door first. He wore a uniform I recognized. His name was embroidered on a patch on his considerable chest. His fingers were stained with oil, and he had a rag hanging out of his back pocket.
Joe followed behind him.
Without thinking, I stepped forward quickly, wanting to get to Kelly, to drag him behind me, to shield him away.
Clarity came when I smashed into the line of silver. I hissed as my skin singed, backing away.
Joe looked curious, glancing between Kelly and me.
Ox’s expression was blank.
“Kelly,” Joe said. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” Kelly said, sounding exasperated. “I’m getting really sick and tired of that question.”
“As your Alpha, I—”
“I’m older than you,” Kelly retorted. “I changed your diaper when you shit yourself. You may be my Alpha, but I’ve wiped your ass, Joe.”
Joe grinned at him. He reached over, wrapped his arm around Kelly, pulled him close, kissed the side of his head.
Someone snarled angrily.
It took me a moment to realize it was me.
I stopped, mortified.
“Huh,” Joe said, a glint in his eyes I didn’t like. “I wonder what that’s about.”
Kelly shoved him off. “Not now.”
“As your Alpha—”
“Asshole.”
Ox said, “Hello, Robbie.”
Two words. That’s all it was. Two simple words said in greeting.
And it made me tremble. There was such power emanating from him, and it was overwhelming, but it was so serene and calm. I’d never met another Alpha like him. I wanted to bare my throat to him, even as I warred with myself, the baser part of me gnashing its teeth because I alread
y had an Alpha.
Or maybe I didn’t.
I was so far from home.
He nodded as if he understood. As if he could read all my thoughts and everything I felt. For all I knew, he could. I’d seen the red and violet mixing in his eyes. He was different. He was more.
I was in awe of him.
I was terrified of him.
My fear extended to all of them, this pack, but him especially. Him and Kelly. For entirely different reasons.
My throat closed.
He said, “Would you like a shower?” His nose wrinkled slightly. “I think you could use one.”
That sounded wonderful. But there had to be a catch. “Yes.” Then, “Please.”
He hummed under his breath. “In a moment, Kelly is going to break the line of silver. Will you attack him?”
I shook my head.
“Will you attack us?”
“No.”
“Do you believe I can stop you if you try?”
“Yeah. Yes.”
And then he said, “I’m trusting you, Robbie,” and I wanted to howl at the moon.
“Yes. Yes. Yes.” I was panting.
He nodded again. “Good. You won’t be alone. Consider it a safety measure. It’s nothing we haven’t seen before, so I don’t think you’ll need to be worried about it.”
Nudity to wolves was natural. Still, it felt like showing part of myself I wasn’t ready for. “You?”
He tilted his head. “Would you prefer someone else?”
I glanced at Kelly but didn’t reply.
“Okay,” he said slowly. “That’s fair.”
“Ox,” Joe said, a warning in his voice.
“I won’t hurt him,” I snapped. “He’s….” I didn’t know what he was.
Joe threw up his hands. “Fine. But we’ll be right outside the door.”
“Carter said you don’t have boundaries here.”
Joe gaped at me before recovering. “Uh. Yeah. I guess. I’ve seen Carter’s dick more times than I care to think about.” He frowned. “I really regret saying that out loud.”
“And yet there it is,” Ox said dryly. “Thanks, Joe.”
Joe grinned at him adoringly. It took my breath away. They were close. It wasn’t like it was in Caswell. At least it wasn’t for me. Sure, I’d had Ezra, and he’d—