Author: Pandora Pine
Category: LGBT
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“Ronan, wait.” Clemente reached out for his elbow.
“Yeah?” Ronan had a feeling he wasn’t going to like what Cruz was about to say next.
“I saw how angry you were at Tennyson yesterday for keeping what really happened to Tony Abruzzi from you.”
Sighing, Ronan shoved his hands in pockets. He wasn’t sure he wanted to have this conversation with Clemente right now. His emotions were running too close to the surface at the moment.
“I forced this on him, Ronan. Tony told me about Tennyson’s gift. I didn’t understand anything about it. All I knew at the time was that Tennyson could compromise my investigation. This was my chance to nail Dragonni once and for all. I couldn’t let anything or anyone derail my case. Ten kept giving me information that day. About you, about your child. I used it all against him.” Cruz shook his head. “I know it doesn’t mean much now to hear me say it, but I’m so sorry that I did that to him, that I put him in the position to make him choose between you and your child. I knew he’d pick the baby, that’s why I did it. He struggled mightily. I could see his mind working it out. Would it be better to just go to jail instead of lying to you, but the power of your child won out in the end. Please don’t hold it against him.”
Ronan nodded. Not willing to say much else to the man who’d single-handedly turned his and Tennyson’s lives upside down.
Clemente looked over at Tennyson. “I couldn’t believe the difference in him when I saw him the other night. I’ve never seen anything like that in another case before.”
“What do you mean?” Ronan’s eyes followed Clemente’s to Tennyson.
“You might find this hard to believe, but we make deals like this all the time. We do what we have to do to keep witnesses safe so they’re available to testify when the time comes. I’ve never seen any of them take the terms of the agreement as badly as your husband. He looked like he was barely sleeping or eating. He almost didn’t look like the same man I’d seen back in August. Keeping the truth from you was killing him. I would say that’s a real testament to the love he has for you.”
Hearing those words out of Clemente’s mouth nearly broke Ronan. “If you hadn’t taken a bullet today, I’d probably punch your lights out.” Ronan found a grin. “Work on that, Clemente. When you’re sitting on the beach or doing your yoga breathing, work on a different way to get witnesses to cooperate. Threatening people’s families is going to get you in trouble one of these days.”
“Ronan,” Copeland was standing behind him. “We need to go. Jude’s having a hard time breathing. He won’t admit it, but I can see that he’s struggling.”
“Let’s go, Cruz. I’ve said all that I needed to say.” He pointed the FBI agent toward the door. Ronan was proud of himself that he hadn’t given himself over to the inner caveman that wanted to punch Clemente’s lights out for what his tactics had done to his and Tennyson’s relationship.
Things seemed to be back on the right track, but Ronan was smart enough to know there was a lot of talking and probably some groveling on his part before he and Ten were back on solid ground again.
32
Tennyson
Tennyson hated the hospital. Although he supposed he would much rather be here getting a CT Scan than lying in the Suffolk County Morgue with Paulie and Marco.
It had been crazy when they’d walked into the Emergency Room at Boston Medical Center. Cope had gone off with Jude, nurses had grabbed Cruz Clemente and wheeled him away, while he and Ronan had been led off to another curtained cubical.
Ronan had sat next to his gurney holding his hand while Ten had tried to just relax and calm down from the horrors of the day. In all the time he’d been working with Ronan and the BPD, this had been the craziest twenty-fours hours he’d known so far. He hoped this was the worst things ever got for him and Ronan.
The silence between them hadn’t been uncomfortable, but it was stressful all the same. Ten knew Ronan had been relieved to see him back at the parking garage because he’d spent the morning fearing the worst. He by no means thought that being alive meant all of Ronan’s anger and feelings of betrayal over what had happened with Tony evaporated. There would be a price to pay for his deception. Now wasn’t the time or place to talk about that.
Thankfully the wait to see the doctor hadn’t been a long one. He’d explained what happened to him and after a quick neurological assessment, he’d been sent to the imaging department. By now Ten knew the ropes. All he had to do was lie back and relax. He knew it would all be over soon. The CT Scan, not the trauma of what happened today.
Being kidnapped, beaten, held prisoner in the trunk of a car and then seeing two men shot right in front of him was something that was going to leave a mark. Ten wasn’t quite sure how he was going to get those images out of his head. Time and space would play a big role in his healing process, he was sure of that.
“That’s it, Mr. Grimm. We’ll be taking you back to the ER now,” a pretty young woman in purple scrubs said.
He found the energy to smile back. Closing his eyes, he tried to focus on what was going to come next for him. Going home was top on his list of things to do. He wanted a hot shower and his favorite pajamas followed by a long sleep in his comfy bed. If Ronan wanted him there. Ten sighed. Who would he go live with if Ronan didn’t want him in their house?
As much as he loved Carson and Cole, houses with small kids was the last place he wanted to be when he was getting over a concussion, which he was positive he had. He didn’t need his gift or the results of the test to tell him that.
He supposed he could stay across the street with Greeley and Lola, but how weird would that be, living with Fitzgibbon’s eighteen-year-old son and Dixie’s sister? Then there was always the townhouse down the block with Fitzgibbon and Jace. Since Kevin was Ronan’s boss that would also be super weird. Ten supposed his last, best option was to stay with Emilyn. He felt tears leak back from his eyes to melt into his messy riot of curls.
It was six weeks until their bundle of joy was due to arrive and here he was, worn to the bone, half starved to death and not knowing where he was going to lay his concussed head tonight. Fucking great…
“Here we are, Mr. Grimm-O’Mara!” the nurse chirped happily. “And look, your husband is waiting for you.”
“Thank you,” Ten managed.
“Hey, are you okay?” Ronan was at his side wiping his tears away. “Do you want me to call her back?”
“No,” Ten whispered. “I’m okay.”
Ronan crawled up on the bed to lay next to Tennyson. “You’re not okay, Ten. I’m not a doctor and I can clearly see that. Talk to me.”
Ten sighed. “This is all so much, Ronan.”
“What do you mean?” Ronan stroked a hand over his jumbled curls.
“All of this with Tony and Dragonni and me and you. I was in the CT machine wondering where I was going to spend the night tonight.” Ten felt Ronan stiffen next to him.
“Are you saying you want to leave me?” Ronan’s voice sounded heartbroken.
“No,” Ten whispered. “I know that you’re not over being angry with me. Yesterday at the courthouse, I could see how deeply hurt you were when you found out Tony was alive and then last night when we talked in the kitchen, that hurt had morphed into betrayal. I know you were relieved to see I wasn’t dead earlier, Ronan, but those deep-running emotions don’t evaporate just because I’m alive.”
Ronan pulled Tennyson into his arms. “That’s where you’re wrong, Nostradamus.”
“I’m wrong?” Ten managed a choked laugh.
“You are.” Ronan smiled against the top of Tennyson’s head. “I’ve never been happier in my life to tell you that you’re wrong.”
Ten’s lips quirked into a smile over the enthusiasm in Ronan’s voice. He sure as hell sounded happy. “I’m listening.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think things over. There has been a lot of advice thrown at me. Some I wanted, some was unsolicited, but at the end of it all,
one thing rang true.” Ronan was smiling like a fool.
“What was that?” Ten was curious to hear all about the advice he’d been given. Especially the unsolicited stuff.
“Everyone agreed that you didn’t willingly keep what happened to Tony from me. Clemente even said that in all of his years with the FBI, he’s never seen a witness take their situation as badly as you did. He said when you opened the door the other night, you were barely recognizable.”
Ten would agree with that. Even though he’d seen the changes in himself on a daily basis, he had to admit he was so far removed today from the man he was that awful day in August when he met Cruz Clemente for the first time. “These last few months have been some of the most difficult of my life.”
“I take full credit for that.” Ronan pressed a tender kiss to the side of his face.
“No, Ronan. None of this was your fault.” The last thing Ten wanted was Ronan trying to step in and take the blame here.
“Yes, Ten. Hear me out, okay? You’re my husband. The father of my child. Aside from Everly, no one should be more important to me than you.” Ronan shook his head. “I was filled with so much guilt over what happened to Tony in the year before what happened that I let it carry over into that night on the Common. I kept blaming myself for not doing more when Dragonni had those guns pointed at us. I knew damn well that if I tried to make a move or be a hero those thugs would have shot me. My mind kept insisting that it could have been different though.”
“You were playing the what-if game.” Ten had been playing it too over the last few months.
“I was and it led me down a dark road. I didn’t get off the couch for a month. In that time, I wasn’t paying any attention to you, I didn’t go to work. I was barely functioning at all. You had to remind me to eat and shower, remember?”
Tennyson remembered. “I was starting to get worried about you. I knew you had to work through your own grief, but I also knew the grief was fraudulent, so I just left you alone.” Ten shook his head. “Shit, it was such a tangled web. I knew that if I tried to intervene it would just be one more thing that would come back to bite me later on when this day came.”
“You were in a no-win situation.” Ronan kissed him again.
“I tried not to look at it that way. All I wanted to do was move forward. I knew sooner or later this day would come and getting here was just eating me up inside.” It was the truth. Ten had tried to alleviate some of his guilt by praying and meditating but it didn’t work. He’d only ended up feeling more guilty in the end.
“That’s my fault too. I saw that you were suffering, but I had my own shit to deal with. I kept telling myself that as soon as I felt better, I would help you, but that day never seemed to come. Then all of a sudden we’re in that courtroom and the bailiff was calling Tony’s name.”
Ten felt that old familiar twinge of guilt pull at his stomach. “I’m so sorry, Ronan. If there was any other way, I would have chosen that.”
“I know.” Ronan pressed a kiss to Tennyson’s head. “You didn’t lie to me on purpose. This wasn’t part of you doing something wrong and trying to deceive me with a lie. This was the story you were forced to tell. I wasn’t making that connection yesterday. Willfully, I think. I heard Clemente explain it to me. I heard you explain it that way too and it wasn’t until I went through almost losing you today that the truth of it finally dawned on me.”
“I like to think you would have come to this conclusion even if I hadn’t been kidnapped.” Tennyson wished with all of his heart that would have been the case.
“When I came home this morning, it was with the intent of talking to you with a clear head and calm disposition. I like to think we could have muddled our way through this conversation then, just like we are now.” Ronan’s voice was sincere.
“Nothing is more important to me than our family, Ronan. I didn’t know how to choose between you and Everly. Thinking about it now, I should have just found a way to tell you. With a note in the bathroom at work or in some place that I was sure wasn’t bugged or something. I was just terrified of how you’d react.” That was the God’s honest truth.
“That’s my fault for being such a hothead. I need to work on that. As my husband you should be able to tell me anything. I’m sorry you couldn’t do that.”
“I can, Ronan. I mean, this was such a bizarre situation. Every day further away from the day Tony died it got harder and harder to figure a way out of this. I just kept thinking that Clemente promised to explain it all to you. I knew you’d listen to him.” He kept thinking it was his ace in the hole. Ten should have known it was going to take more than the word of a stranger for Ronan to understand what had been going on.
“What the hell ever gave you that idea?” Ronan snorted.
“Some weird combination of professional courtesy and relief that Tony really wasn’t dead. I figured you’d listen to him since he was FBI and you’d understand why he’d done this to our family.” Ten really had been stupid to think Clemente held the key to his freedom.
Ronan hummed deep in his throat.
Tennyson knew Ronan was mulling those two things over.
“I think my anger at being betrayed overrode the fact that Tony was alive.” Ronan’s tone was genuine.
Ten hadn’t considered that. “Do you feel like he betrayed you too or just me?”
“At that moment, when he walked into the courtroom, I felt like my brain exploded. I can’t think of any other way to describe what that felt like. I heard the bailiff call his name. I saw him walk past me. He touched my shoulder. All of that seemed to happen in slow-motion. Then, when he was being sworn in to testify, it was like everything started happening in fast-forward. I realized that you’d known about this all along and so had Carlie. It was the reason she was sitting a few rows behind us. Then the anger over the whole situation blinded me to everything else. Not even Fitzgibbon could calm me down later.”
He’d figured as much when Ronan had come home later that afternoon still enraged. Usually Kevin was good at getting Ronan to see things from multiple angles, but he hadn’t been able to work his magic on that particular day. “I should have been better prepared for what your reaction would be.”
Ronan shook his head. “No. There’s no way you could have been prepared.” Ronan held him tighter. “Carson really gave it to me this morning for having left you alone last night. He was so angry that I didn’t tell anyone you were alone. That’s all I could think about all day was that I’d threatened you like a bully. I was no better than Clemente, telling you I’d keep you from our baby. Jesus Christ, Tennyson, how can you ever forgive me for putting you through that?” There was a world of sadness in his blue eyes.
Ten could hear the anguish and raw pain in Ronan’s voice. “I forgive you because you’re my forever love, Ronan. We’ve been in this cycle of hurt for the last five months. We’re breaking it today. I know it’s going to take time to get things back on track from what we saw and did today, but we’re putting this behind us. We have a baby to get ready for. She deserves us to be one hundred percent present in her life.” He reached out to touch the side of Ronan’s face.
“Your forgiveness always comes so easy,” Ronan whispered. “I forgive you too, Ten. I know there’s nothing to really forgive you for, but I love you so much and you need to hear those words. You tortured yourself for months over this. Promise me that all stops now.”
“It does.” With those simple words from Ronan, Ten felt like the weight of the world was finally off his shoulders.
“Look who I found!” Cope announced as he trotted Jude into the room.
Jude snarled his upper lip at an exuberant Copeland and crawled into bed next to Tennyson. “Can we go home now?”
Ronan got up so Tennyson could move over to make more room for Jude. “What’s the verdict with him?”
“His chest is bruised but his ribs and sternum are fine. He needs to take it easy for a couple of days. I’m going to pack a bag and stay
with him until he’s feeling better. I get the feeling he’s going to be a bit of a bear while he’s not feeling well.”
“Stock up on ice cream and prepare to watch a lot of MMA On Demand and he’ll be just fine.” Ronan grinned.
“I’m glad you’re staying with him, Cope. I hated that barefoot boxing shit.” Ten groaned.
“You never said that when I was living with you!” Jude shot back. He wore a grumpy look on his face.
“You were a guest. I was being polite.” Ten frowned right back.
“You don’t sound very polite now,” Jude grumped.
“You’re not a guest, you’re a hijacker. This is my concussion bed. Get your own.”
“God help us.” Ronan started to laugh. “They’re like preschoolers.”
“Yeah, but they’re both alive. That’s all that matters.” Cope sighed.
Ronan watched his best friend and his husband jockey for space on the narrow hospital bed, all while they insulted each other. He started to laugh. He couldn’t agree with Cope more.
33
Ronan
It felt like a month had passed since the last time Ronan sat at his kitchen table. In fact, it had only been twenty-four hours. He was sitting at the table alone while Tennyson was upstairs taking a shower. Dixie had gone with him and had been sitting outside the bathroom door when Ronan had left to come back downstairs.
He needed this quiet time to collect his thoughts. After Ten and Jude had been discharged from the hospital, they’d all gone back to the precinct. It had been separate interview rooms for Tennyson, Jude, and Copeland for their witness statements to be taken. Ronan had been stuck at his desk filling out his incident report and then waiting for Tennyson to be finished.
Ronan had to admit waiting for Ten had been the worst part. All he wanted to do was get his husband home and into that hot shower he knew Ten would be craving, but the interview kept going on and on.