Author: Tammy Andresen
Category: Historical
Go to read content：https://readnovelfree.com/p/32825_15
But he’d erred this time. Because while he’d proven what he’d set out to, showing her the amazing sexual connection between them, he’d failed to truly understand her hesitations before he’d acted.
He heard the rustling of her skirts. “I don’t think being alone with you in my room is a good idea.” Her voice moved closer with each word and he knew she approached the door.
He let out a slow breath raking his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
He heard the light tap of her slippers on the hardwood floor as she crossed the room. Then the doorknob squeaked as she twisted it open.
Her tear stained face appeared in the door. “It’s all right,” she said. “It’s mostly my own fault.”
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Those words only made him feel worse. “Not true.” He leaned a hand on the frame of the door. Then, slowly, he raised his other to lightly stroke her cheek, wiping away several tears. “I am the sort of man that when I see what I want I go after it.” Usually without mercy.
She nibbled her lower lip. “I was curious and I’m glad…” She stopped, looking to the floor. “I already told you why,” she said, then shifted. “I hope you understand. I need to think about everything. I have to decide what my future holds.”
He grimaced, leaving now was a risk. If he left her to think, she’d likely decide pursuing marriage was far better than being a man’s mistress. No matter how powerful he was or how rich he made her.
The thought of marrying her himself flashed through his thoughts. Did he actually wish to bed her that badly?
He clenched the wood. He might. She’d tasted better than anyone woman he’d ever touched and he knew she’d feel even better. “Perhaps we should continue making your list, then.”
The door opened a bit wider. “Are you certain?” she asked. “What if the list weighs more heavily in the negative?”
He’d always been willing to take risks. Hell, his face was scarred because he’d become engaged to a woman everyone had told him to avoid. “A chance I’ll take.”
She opened the door, stepping out. “I think it best we go back to the music room for this conversation.”
Disappointment coursed through him. He wanted to be in her chamber. Even through the crack, he could see the large bed that filled the center of the room. He could picture laying her down and stripping off her clothes. Desire pulsed through him again but he pushed it back down.
He had to stop allowing lust to dictate his actions. She needed some emotional support to feel comfortable and…he wanted to give that to her. After all, he’d been the one who made her so uneasy in the first place.
Surprisingly, it wasn’t just because he wished to bed her. Part of him wanted to nurture her too. He pushed off the door jamb, his stomach clenching at the unexpected turn his thoughts had taken. This was already becoming complicated.
She swiped at her eyes and stepped out of the room. “Okay, I do want to make the list of pros and cons.”
He placed his hand onto her back as they started strolling back down the hall. “All right,” he said. “What drove you away? What are the negatives?” He looked over watching her face tighten.
“You’ve given me a choice. Which I appreciate. And you’ve shown me passion, which I am also grateful for, though…”
“Though you’re a bit confused about what you’ve learned,” he finished. He understood. His gut twisted again. Passion in the marriage bed, she’d participate in that. But for a religious man’s offspring, carnal pleasure outside the sanctity of marriage was a difficult choice for her to make. And that began to fill him with doubt. He’d consider this a mutually beneficial relationship, but her financial gain could not be balanced if she emotionally suffered.
She nodded. “What we just did…I refuse to regret it. It answered a question that has plagued me for the last several years. And now that I know I might be able to…” She stopped in the hall. “Your Grace,” she started.
He turned toward her, not sure he wanted to know what she planned to say next. “Not Damian?”
She shook her head. “I considered your offer because I thought I was too flawed for marriage but…” He saw her lips tremble. “I’m afraid I can’t, knowing what I do now, accept. I hope you understand.”
Then she turned and started back down the hall.
And this time, he let her go.
Chapter Six
Cassandra rose early the next morning and fled the house, wanting to make certain she did not see Damian.
It was a coward’s retreat but a necessary one.
First because she had several articles of clothing she needed to retrieve from the local dressmaker. Raithe had ordered them to prepare for their visitors.
Which reminded her, in theory, other men were about to arrive to potentially court her. Make her a wife and not just a mistress.