Author: Paul Beatty
Category: Fiction
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/paul-beatty/page,9,468657-hokum.html
so fine
and i ain't no beautician
watch close
back it will shrink
to its original kink
Mama Pauline used to burn my neck trying to get
the edges straight, she gave me
Chinese bangs and my first and last pony tail
it broke off and never grew back
could never never hold a press more'n five days
time i sweated "back home" during gym
and had to go to chemistry class with my naps
gone all the way back to Africa
and Mr. Cord the nice white teacher who couldn't see good
without his glasses
had never seen black woman hair in its nigger state
i came thru the door last to our all black class
everybody held their breath when his unfocused eyes
landed on my head
he reached for his glasses, adjusted them scientifically
and made careful observation
he said nothing but his astonishment
made the class so angry they didn't speak to me
the rest of the semester
(any wonder at my sedentary life—to sweat is to betray
the shame of a race)
i feel kinship to Van Gogh
'cept only a piece of my left ear is missing
burned off by generations of
hot iron
young love ran passionate hand tenderly
thru my freshly primped bush
cried, "Ugh!
What does you put on yo head, woman?"
and hastily wiped his hand against his jeans
pine tar mange beer raw eggs & honey soaks
steams creams lanolin gels
a head given hell
at 19 i had bald spots from yrs of hard press
& curling rods
saw two girls struttin' up the avenue sportin'
the first afro dos i'd seen
in great ceremony i washed my hair and threw all
that heavy metal into the trash
Richard Burton once politely asked permission to
touch my hair
during a motion picture press party
for The Klansman
i was kind enuff to say yes
"it's soft!" he said
"of course," said i
i've always gotten compliments on my loose scalp
occasionally when i have my backside to them
store clerks address me as "Sir"
HATTIE GOSSETT
yo daddy
an 80s version of the dozens
1988
for carolyn j . and calvin h.
1.
yo daddy
yo daddys daddy
his daddy
his great granddaddys great great granddaddys daddy
yo daddy look like death ridin radar wings
yo daddy walk like a broke dick dog
yo daddys breath smell like chemical fallout and industrial waste and he always up in somebodys face
yo daddy deals coke outta platinumplated minklined deluxe rolls royce van with 16track quad deck and 3d color tv yet he got all 13 of yall livin in a furnished room the size of a mosquitoes tweeter cookin hamhocks on a hotplate and you got to go downstairs to the greasyspoon to go to the bathroom
yo daddy dips snuff wears a bowler hat and walks pintoed with a cane
yo daddys daddys daddys daddy was the slave who stayed behind when everyone else escaped to freedom talkin bout i aint gonna leave ma massa cuz he been so good to me
2.
pierre cardin daddy
eleganza daddy
robert hall daddy
robe wearin daddy
joggin suit runnin shoes daddy
surplus store daddy
skullcap earring daddy
greasy do rag daddy
pinhead beanhead footballhead beadyhead dad
earwax toejam daddy
frogeyed redeyed crosseyed daddy
bucktooth snaggletooth gaptooth notooth daddy
highbehind bigbelly daddy
knockkneed slewfooted pigeontoed daddy
liverlip talkinshit tonguetied daddy
sugardaddy with a chippies playground the size of central park
3.
the employer who wants to pinch my ass and pay me less money than he
would a man? his daddy
the wifebeaters daddy
the rapists daddy
the childmolesters daddy
the socialworkers and judges who say lesbians aint fit mothers? their daddies
the lowlifed protoplasm that steals old peoples welfare and
social-security checks outta they mailboxes and mugs they money
outta they pockets? his daddy
the groceryman who raises the prices on them rotten greens and that
rancid meat on check day? his daddy
the healthfood storeman who keeps his prices high all the time? his daddy
the insuranceman who comes round everyweek beatin poorfolks outta
they nickles and dimes for some jive insurancepolicies that dont never
pay off? his daddy
the slumlords daddy
the industrial polluters? their daddies
the committee in charge of cuttin back social services? their daddies
the stepup nuclear power production committee? their daddies
all the bigtime capitalist daddies
and their smalltime neocolonial overseer daddies too
4.
if you white you allright if you black git back daddy
i dont haul no coal daddy
all a blackbitch can do for me is drive me in my whiteonwhitein-white
cadillac to see a white lady daddy
i dont want nothin black but a cadillac daddy
talkin black sleepin white daddy
makin babies for the revolution he doesnt take care of daddy
the womans position in the revolution is prone daddy
speakin out about womans oppression in public but insistin on his
patriarchal privileges in private daddy
no foreplay daddy
all technique and no feelins daddy
yes i enjoy oral sex but i think cunnilingus is abhorrent and repulsive daddy
yeah i want some head and naw i aint gonna eat no pussy daddy
no stayin power daddy
if i give you some money and some coke can i watch you and your
girlfriend freak off daddy
do you want to tie me up and beat me daddy
can i tie you up and beat you daddy
group sex at the singles club daddy
find em feel em fuck em forget em daddy
seen at the gaybaths after talkin long and loud bout faggots this and
faggots the other daddy
no technique daddy
no warmth sensitivity gentleness tenderness affection either daddy
60second
daddy did you come did you come did you come daddy
roll over and go to sleep daddy
5.
soldier sailor green beret daddy
executive suite daddy
maintenance man daddy
hotshot athlete daddy
porno star daddy
ebony bachelor daddy
reefer smokin guntotin asskickin gorilla revolutionary daddy
rushin off to africa where the real struggle is daddy
blissfully ignorant about whats goin on right here daddy
incense sellin daddy
loose joints king daddy
bigtime politico daddy
assembly line daddy
secretary nurse homecompanion daddy
coldbeer fishnchips place daddy
rags and old iron daddy
highclass houseniggah daddy
no class fieldniggah daddy
passin out poorly printed religio
us tracts in the busstation daddy
shoppingbagman daddy
pimp pusher daddy
hoodoo voodoo poet daddy
parttime prophet and guru daddy
parttime nonskilled unemployed daddy
wont get no job daddy
wont wash no dishes daddy
wont take care of no babies daddy
how come my dinner aint ready daddy
what you mean you tired daddy
seen at the hotel notell with yo wifes best friend daddy
what you mean you goin out with the sisters daddy
seen at the hotel notell with yo best friends wife daddy
but baby i didnt mean to hurt yo feelins daddy
wont use no protection daddy
wont let yo woman use no birthcontrol daddy
beat yo woman cuz she had an abortion daddy
it aint none of my baby daddy
strip your woman naked mutilate her body kick her out in the snow daddy
chastity belt daddy
harlot branding daddy
drawing&quartering bonebreaking burning at the stake daddy
madonna in a crisscross on the cross daddy
polygamy daddy
clitoridectomy daddy
hysterectomy daddy
foot binding daddy
child bride daddy
chador and veil daddy
we will not have our women wearing those decadent western bluejeans daddy
if a woman is not a profit to me shes a pain in my ass daddy
i dont want no woman with no hair shorter than mine daddy
a woman is like a pipe you gotta break em in daddy
a menstruating or lactating woman cant touch food enter holy places sleep in the house or touch men daddy
women are childlike sickly neurotic helpless incapable of serious thought son they will throw lye and cocacola on you while you sleep take you money and make a fool outta you barbeque yo clothes slash yo tires put things in yo food bleed every month blow yo mind live longer than you daddy
shes cute when shes mad daddy
little girls should wear bouncy curls play passively with pink-pastyfaced dolls and with all their hearts and soul hope to die sho nuff cross yo heart and open yo legs love their daddies daddy
yo daddy
my daddy
they all got little bitty peanut dicks
AMIRI BARAKA
wise 1
1995
WHY's (Nobody Knows The Trouble I Seen) Trad.
If you ever find
yourself, some where
lost and surrounded
by enemies
who won't let you
speak in your own language
who destroy your statues
& instruments, who ban
your oom boom ba boom
then you are in trouble
deep trouble
they ban your
oom boom ba boom
you in deep deep
trouble
humph!
probably take you several hundred years
to get
out!
CORNELIUS EADY
the cab driver who ripped me off
1997
That's right, said the cab driver,
Turning the corner to the
Round-a-bout way,
Those stupid, fuckin' beggars,
You know the guys who
Walk up to my cab
With their hands extended
And their little cups?
You know their problem?
You know what's wrong with them?
They ain't got no brains.
I mean, they don't know nothin'
'cause if they had brains
They'd think of a way
To find a job.
You know what one of 'em told me once?
He said what he did,
Begging
He said it was work.
Begging
Was work.
And I told him
Straight to his face:
That ain't work.
You think that's work?
Let me tell you what work is:
Work is something that you do
That's of value
To someone else.
Now you take me.
It takes brains to do
What I do.
You know what I think?
I think they ought to send
All these beggars over
To some other country,
Any country,
It don't matter which,
For 3, 4, years,
Let them wander around
Some other country,
See how they like that.
We ought to make a
National program
Sending them off
To wander about
Some other country
For a few years,
Let 'em beg over there,
See how far it gets them.
I mean, look at that guy
You know, who was big
In the sixties,
That drug guy,
Timothy Leary?
Yeah, he went underground,
Lived overseas.
You know what?
A few years abroad
And he was ready to
Come back
On any terms.
He didn't care if
They arrested him.
He said
The U.S. is better
Than any country
In the world.
Send them over there
For a few years.
They'd be just like him.
This is the greatest country
In the whole world.
Timothy Leary
Was damn happy
To get back here,
And he's doing fine.
Look at me.
I used to be like that.
I used to live underground.
I came back.
I think all those beggars got a mental block.
I think you should do something.
I mean, you ought to like what you do,
But you should do something.
Something of use
To the community.
All those people,
Those bums,
Those scam artists,
Those hustlers,
Those drug addicts,
Those welfare cheats,
Those sponges.
Other than that
I don't hold nothin'
Against no one.
Hey, I picked you up.
TISH BENSON
fifth-ward e-mail
2003
memo to the bitch tryin to cause disharmony between me and my husband
Greetings ho—
this is kwanzal [email protected]
aka: ms. prim n [email protected]
aka: #1 [email protected]
aka: [email protected]
aka: [email protected]
aka:[email protected]
aka: the 1 who will
aka:marriedfuhreal
It's 3:30 p.m. Saturday. Roo—my man who put the ring of eternal life on my 3rd finger left hand bended knee at the big water sprinkler fountain thang in the park when it was lit up with folks and kids and everybody clapped and somebody asked us to join them havin a cook out—we said no cause we had our own 'que set up cause my Uncle Lemmo and Aunt Patrice brought down two of they smokers . . . He is somewhere workin on somethin for my momma—that part is none of yo' damn business . . . leavin me here to use his computer he won at the Library Friends Celebrate Us . . .
I go to check my business and all his e-mail pops up . . .
Long story short I chance upon correspondences
(e mails—you silly bitch)
between you and my Husband . . .
not
my boyfriend
or playmate just chillin on the lo
or my off and on again
or we serious—but . . .
not even
we common-law
Naw naw naw
MY FUCKIN HUSBAND!
LEGAL like taxes and my foot up yo' ass
cause we went down to the court house
stood in that long freakin line that wrapped out the door
and halfway down the stairs—got the papers signed
then had to go back through a whole lotta traffic
cause we forgot two forms of i.d.
had the weddin which you were not invited to cause of your ho-ish
ways and yes I do know how to spell whore
but that's too dignified for yo' slutty ho-ish ways
5 bridesmaids—all of 'um wearin fierce dresses looked like Beyonce's
momma made 'um but I ain't sayin who made 'um
since we both know you like to bite every damn thang I got
Scooped out backs
Blue sequins on baby-blue satin handkerchief knee length hems
White mums sprinkled with silver glitter on the sides of they hair
3 flower girls—yeah Silia and Nay-Nay was in it
even though they yo cousins I am not the kind
to allow the sins of kin to interfere with my love show
150 people total—all bearin good gifts
which you will never see or even experience
in no kinda way . . . not when I make some waffles
on my waffle iron Bertese got me or fix a cake
and have it sit up under
this bad ass chandelier lookin cake plate my auntie got me
Cause you will always be the other woman
and not the woman—and Roo don't need no other woman
cause he got me
which is plenty enough for his ass
35 of Roos's family came from outta town—five from California
stayed at the Marriott. . . big sky-high butter rum cake with butter rum
frostin . . . rainbow streamers and bells lacin the whole damn church
grounds
Rev. Welch preached so hard he sweated his curl back
and gave my momma a place to lay her tears
and she don't be cryin at no weddin's
even my Uncle Cordell and some of the other men were dabbin
Rev. said love like ours is what the world needs
What the world needs
Did you hear me bitch?