Author: Sarah Monzon
Category: Christian
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/sarah-monzon/page,12,535596-with_you_here.html
ʼTis only the danger that has you feeling thus.
Reminded of her course, her tongue unhinging from whence it lay frozen, she spoke. “It is I, and with a warning I have come.”
“The many visitors that have happened upon your castle, I know.”
She followed the sound of his voice until her toe touched an object too soft to be anything but his person. Lowering herself beside him, she thought to retrieve the candle but stilled her hand above the pocket. Too intimate it felt to be alone with him in the hours meant for lovers. Better a shroud of darkness about their shoulders than the warm light cast from a dancing flame.
“Then you know you must flee. Tonight. We will pray that the angels guide you as they did Peter when he escaped from prison.”
His fingers lightly touched her hand and then retreated as if the contact were unintended. “I have been sent my angel already. I cannot ask for another.”
He referred to when he called her thus, though delirious from pain. She must make him see reason. “My father has vowed that no heretic found on his lands will leave alive. He will kill you if you are found.”
“And yet I find myself still too weak to flee. Though I do need to return to the woods, albeit not for myself.”
“If not yourself then who?”
“Other Brethren.” He shifted and winced. “There are others besides myself who have flown Zurich.”
Her hand fluttered to her lips. On the morrow, her father would dispatch a unit of mercenaries to overturn stone and fell trees if need be in order to fox out the dissenters.
More innocent blood. The copper taste coated her mouth, her ears ringing with the sounds of swords being loosed from scabbards and cries exhaling from lifeless lungs.
“I will go.” A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
“I cannot ask that of you. It is not safe.”
“Nothing is safe these days, it seems. Besides, you did not ask. Nor do I think you have the strength to stop me.”
His fingers found her hand again, but this time they curled around her own and held on. “Nothing I say can persuade you from this course?”
She lifted her chin. “Though your words have persuaded me to consider many ideas I had not before, in this I am determined.”
“Then may a host of heavenly armies protect you on your way.”
Chapter Fourteen
Germany, Present Day
Amber dumped her bag by the door as she entered her room, then collapsed on the twin- sized bed. What. A. Day. Fatigue sat as a weight behind her eyes, but it was the pressure in her chest cavity that felt like an anvil had been dropped on her body. She blinked as she stared up at the popcorn ceiling, evidence of old water damage snaking an uneven circle near the corner in a rusty orange color.
Half a world away and her surroundings hadn’t changed much. She still found herself cloistered in a small dorm room, stark white cement-block walls surrounding her. She snorted. Leave it to her to go searching for something and wind up in what amounted to the exact same place.
She sat up and let her legs dangle over the side of the bed, her elbows resting on her thighs. She stared at her hands. Were they enough? Was she?
“Jesus, help those kids.” It was the prayer she’d been saying on repeat in her mind all day, but now the words finally found release and floated around her in the empty room. The heaviness of four-year-old Yara in her arms had become familiar to her in only a week’s time. She tried to imagine what it must be like to be so young and have gone through all the things those kids at the center had experienced.
When she was four, her biggest concerns had been, what? Finding her missing My Little Pony doll? And when she was ten? Beating her best friend in a reading contest by finishing all the Anne of Green Gables series first? As a teenager her biggest concerns had been getting good grades. She’d never had to worry about her house getting hit by a missile or the police coming in the middle of the night and taking her parents away or fleeing for her life because her country was no longer safe to live in. Nor had she ever had to worry about finding a safe place to live or surviving the journey to get there.
Her fingers raked through her hair. Had she really been so self-centered as to think that coming here would somehow unmuddy her own problems, which paled in comparison to the magnitude of those she’d learned of since landing in Germany? Instead of focusing so much on how this time away would magically give her direction, she should have been studying up on helping children dealing with issues like grief and post-traumatic stress and the plethora of other wounds escaping a war-torn country left on a soul.
Today they had shown her an artery that was hemorrhaging, and all she’d been able to offer was a band-aid. As if a simple adhesive bandage in the form of a parallel story could in any way stop the bleeding caused by a wound so deep.
But what could she do? She wasn’t qualified. Wasn’t equipped to meet the needs staring her in the face. Helplessness gripped at her ankles and yanked her head below the surface of an unseen water, drowning her in a current she was powerless to swim out of.
A knock startled her. “Coming,” she called, then slipped out of bed and padded the short distance to the door. When she opened it, no one was there. She looked to the left and then the right, but the hallways were empty. She was about to shut the door when her gaze fell on a small package on the ground. White, with a thin red stripe around the top and bottom and a blue square with an eagle head in the corner. A glimpse of home. A USPS Priority mail box. She bent and retrieved it, her chin wobbling at her mom’s gracefully looping print.
Returning to her seat on the bed, she dug her keys from her pocket and ran the jagged edge along the tape holding the flaps of the box together. She opened them and stared inside, her heart pinching at the pieces of home that fit in a square of cardboard.
She lifted out a Tupperware container, popped the lid, and inhaled. Mmmmmm. Anita Carrington’s famous chocolate chip cookies. She set the Tupperware beside her and retrieved the next item: her beat-up copy of The Chronicles of Narnia. The book was her go-to collection when she needed to escape for a bit. Guess Mom knew she would need to be doing a bit of that while she was here. She set the large book beside the cookies and looked back into the box on her lap. On the bottom lay a piece of stationary. She pulled it out and set the box on the ground.
My darling daughter,
I know you’ve heard me say it a thousand times, but I have to say it once more—I am so incredibly proud of you. You have a heart that beats for others and hands that were fashioned to help. To watch you grow into the beautiful woman you have become has been one of my greatest joys. There is a strength and ability in you that you aren’t even aware of yet, and I can’t wait for the day that you finally realize that. Until then, and always after, my prayers and love are sent your way.
xoxo,
Mom
Amber used the pad of her thumb to collect the moisture gathering in the corner of her eye. She ripped open the container of cookies and bit into one. If only she did have that strength and ability Mom thought she had…
Her phone buzzed from her bag, and she went to retrieve it, shaking out her arms in an attempt to fling off the melancholy clinging to her like plastic wrap on a church potluck dish. She picked up her phone and smiled at the screen. A text from her brother Michael.
A group text after your plane lands to say you made it safe isn’t enough, sis. That was ages ago. If one of us doesn’t hear from you soon, I’m contacting the commanding officer at the army base in Stuttgart.
She rolled her eyes but opened the group text window and punched in a message.
Anyone free to chat?
She opened her laptop and pulled out the desk chair to sit. It took a minute for the computer to boot up, then she logged onto the video messaging service her family used. She glanced at the clock and did a mental calculation. Michael would already be done with work for the day, but the rest of her family
might be busy.
A green phone sign showed on the screen at the same time as ringing blasted through her speakers. She smiled and clicked on her parents’ profile picture.
“Hey, Mom and Dad.”
They both smiled broadly. “It’s so good to see your face that I’m not even going to scold you about not calling us sooner.”
Dad laughed and turned his head to kiss Mom on the cheek. “I think you just did, Anita.”
Michael joined the conversation, and the screen morphed to accommodate his video feed. “Seriously, I had to threaten you before you checked in with anyone?” His hand crossed over his chest and gripped the bicep of his amputated arm. He stared into the camera, and Amber understood what it must have been like to be one of his inferiors in the navy. Not a comfortable position, to be sure.
“Don’t we still have a standing family night on Wednesday? Today’s Tuesday. In my defense, I was going to see you all tomorrow.”
“If Adam were here, he’d say your defense is weak, and I agree. You should have called days ago.”
Amber crossed her own arms and tried to match Michael’s stern expression. “It’s not like I haven’t been busy. Cut me some slack and let me get settled in before you start in on your over-protective big brother routine. Sheesh.”
The screen changed again, and Trent’s grinning face beamed across the miles. He had his shoulder-length hair pulled back into a manbun, revealing skin that had been sun-kissed. Must have recently been out on the water on a dive with his marine photographer wife, Summer. “Hey, squirt! How’s life in good ole Deutschland?” He leaned closer to the screen, his eyes squinting. “Oh wow. You don’t look so hot. Working too hard already?”
Amber threw her hands up. “Thank you! I was just trying to explain to our brother dearest that I haven’t had time to check in like a child”—she glared at Michael—“because I’ve been too busy. You know, doing the thing I actually came over here to do.”
“And how is that going, sweetie?” Dad asked.
The question kicked out all the spunk her brother’s ribbing had stirred up. “Umm, it’s good. Mostly I help out this other volunteer who heads up a soccer program, kind of like an assistant coach. The kids really seem to enjoy the sport.”
“And?” Mom prodded.
“And what?”
“I know that’s not all. As Trent not-so-delicately pointed out, you seem…worn down.”
Amber shrugged, trying to brush off the heaviness and not make her family worry. “Just a long day.”
Trent frowned. “So I take it if you’re already working too hard, it’s too much to assume you’ve done anything fun yet.”
Her lips curved of their own accord. Seeing Seth slack-jawed as she made the goal that first day and then again as she zoomed around the curves of the Autobahn at over a hundred miles an hour had been pretty fun.
“Oooo, maybe I stand corrected. Spill, my little strait-laced sister.” Trent’s grin widened.
Amber studied her nails as if going at racing speeds was an everyday occurrence instead of one that had exhilarated her, causing her heart to sprint as fast as the Porsche’s engine. “I may have taken a 911 GT3 RS for a little spin around the Autobahn.”
“No, Amber, you didn’t.” Mom clutched at her throat. If she’d been wearing pearls they would have been wrapped around her finger.
“That’s my girl.” Dad beamed. Mom smacked him on the shoulder, and he laughed. “What? She’s a Carrington. Adventure is in her blood. Did you think it would skip her because she’s a girl? Look at your sons.”
Mom sighed. “I was hoping the female part of her brain would give her some more common sense and combat that Carrington blood.”
Dad leaned into the screen. “Don’t listen to her. Someone”—he glanced back at Anita— “just got off the phone from scheduling a skydiving experience. She’s just as much of a thrill-seeker as the rest of us.”
Mom’s cheeks colored, and she shrugged sheepishly.
“Any interesting guys around? Don’t think because you’re thousands of miles away that one of us can’t hop a plane and give the mandatory if you hurt my sister we’re going to pummel you speech.”
“If she’s too busy to call her family, she’s too busy to be meeting guys.” Michael shook his head.
Amber looked away, pretending to be messing with something on her lap. Something her family wouldn’t be able to see was imaginary because it wouldn’t be onscreen.
“Wait.” Michael sat forward. “Okay, yeah, there is definitely someone or something she hasn’t told us about.”
Amber huffed. “You know, it’s completely unfair to have one brother who is an expert in the art of cross-examination, one who has been trained in interrogation tactics, and one who is more informed about the female psyche than is fair for any man to possess.”
Trent hooted. “That’s as much of an admission as we’re going to get. So, who is he? That coach person you’ve been working so closely with?” He winked. “And just how closely have you been working with him, squirt?”
“You’re a man-child, you know that?”
His self-satisfied smile said he knew it and was proud of that particular part of his personality. “Don’t try to change the subject.”
“Yeah,” Michael interjected. “What’s his name?”
“Why? So you can have one of your military buddies do a background check on him?”
Michael maintained eye contact, not denying that’s exactly what he’d do.
Amber focused on the square image of her parents. “Mom, Dad, rein the boys back, won’t you?”
Mom laughed. “Sorry, I’m afraid I’m on their side on this one. I don’t think I’ve seen you have more than a small crush on a boy. You’ve always been too focused. This must be some special man to get you to break your no-dating rule.”
“I haven’t broken my rule.”
“Poor sop,” Trent muttered.
“Good girl. Guys are only trouble.” Michael nodded like that was that.
“You’re a guy.” Amber wasn’t sure why she’d pointed that out. Michael was on her side. He’d stand behind her rule and help defend her against her family. Especially Trent, who loved nothing better than to pry into other people’s love lives. But something made her want to stick up for Seth. Some guys may be trouble and personify all the warnings from all the mamas the world over, but Seth didn’t seem to fit that mold to her. Case in point, he could be in Vegas living it up right now, but instead, he was spending his time helping a group of displaced, hurting kids.
“And I’m trouble. Just ask Jack.”
Amber rolled her eyes. “I’m sure your fiancé would say you were worth it.”
Michael’s expression softened. “That’s because she’s a saint.”
“Speaking of Jack,” Mom interjected, “how are the wedding plans going?”
“I stay out of it, which is exactly where she wants me to be.”
“Well, you tell her to give me a call if she needs any help. I can’t believe another of my babies is going to be married in a little over a month.”
“And on that sappy note, I’ll talk to you all later.” Michael’s finger hovered over his keyboard. “Love you guys.”
“Love you too,” everyone echoed. The screen changed, dividing into three boxes.
“We should probably go too.” Dad smiled. “Prayer meeting at the church starts in an hour, and I’m filling in for the pastor today. Love you, baby girl. We’re all praying for you over there.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
Mom blew a kiss, and her parents signed off.
Trent’s image expanded to fill almost the entire screen. One brow rose. “You’re really going to stick to this silly rule you made up when you were fifteen?”
She twirled the ring on her finger. “It’s not silly.”
“You’re right, it’s a defense strategy.”
She snorted even while her stomach tripped. That wasn’t it at all. Not being in a
relationship meant she had more time to focus on school and a future career. It was simply a logical choice. Besides… “What would I need to defend against?”
“Oh, I don’t know. The fear of getting hurt? Or maybe you’re afraid of the temptations a romantic relationship might bring up?” Trent discarded his usual cocky expression, his face softening as he stared at her through cyberspace. “Look, I know I wasn’t always the best example for you, especially when it came to how I treated women. But not all guys are like I was, and you’re not like the women I used to spend time with. It’s okay to have feelings for a man, and it’s good to explore those feelings by getting to know him better.”
“I know that.”
“Do you? Because I’m all prepared to start quoting some Song of Solomon to you.”
“Trent.”
He matched her exasperated tone. “Amber.”
Despite herself, she laughed. “Look, I have a lot on my plate right now. It doesn’t seem like a good time to add another thing.”
He gave her a pointed look. “My advice, squirt, is that you start making some room on that plate of yours. Michael’s not wrong, a lot of guys are trouble, but if you’ve found a good one, well, don’t you think you owe it to both of you to explore your feelings?” His mouth dropped dramatically. “Or, wait. Maybe your rule is there because you have no feelings. Are you a robot? I knew that ACME box that came when I was a kid looked suspicious.”
Amber chuckled and shook her head. “You’re such a dork.”
He winked. “A smart dork. Think about what I said.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She pushed a button on her keyboard and signed off. She would think about her brother’s advice. She would…later.
The cover of C.S. Lewis’s book, a picture of a roaring lion in enticing colors, beckoned her to her bed. Right now, she needed to escape, and Narnia sounded like just the place to go.
Chapter Fifteen
Agitation grew in Seth’s stomach as he leaned against the airport wall in front of security. His finger tapped against his elbow, an outlet for his mounting negative energy. His temple began to tick, and he unclenched his jaw before he could give himself a headache.