Author: Ben H. Winters
Category: Humorous
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PRAISE FOR
The Last Policeman
Winner of the Edgar Award
“[The] plotting is sure-footed and surprising.… Ben H. Winters reveals himself as a novelist with an eye for the well-drawn detail.”
—Slate
“Ben H. Winters makes noir mystery even darker: The Last Policeman sets a despondent detective on a suspicious suicide case—while an asteroid hurtles toward earth.”
—Wired
“I love this book. I stayed up until seven in the morning reading because I could not stop. Full of compelling twists, likable characters, and a sad beauty, The Last Policeman is a gem. It’s the first in a trilogy, and I am already excited for book two.”
—Audrey Curtis, San Francisco Book Review
“I’m eager to read the other books, and expect that they’ll keep me as enthralled as the first one did.”
—Mark Frauenfelder, Boing Boing
“I haven’t had to defend my love for science fiction in quite a while, but when I do, I point to books like The Last Policeman. [It] explores human emotions and relationships through situations that would be impossible (or worse yet, metaphorical) in literary fiction. This is a book that asks big questions about civilization, community, desperation and hope. But it doesn’t provide big, pat answers.”
—Michael Ann Dobbs, io9
“I’ve rarely been more surprised by a mystery novel than I was by this one—it’s an unlikely cross-genre mashup that coheres for two reasons: the glum, relentless, and implausibly charming detective Hank Palace; and, most importantly, Ben H. Winters’s clean, clever, thoughtful, and gently comic prose.”
—J. Robert Lennon
“A solidly plotted whodunit with strong characters and excellent dialogue … the impending apocalypse isn’t merely window dressing, either: it’s a key piece of the puzzle Hank is trying to solve.”
—Booklist
“This thought-provoking mystery should appeal to crime fiction aficionados who like an unusual setting and readers looking for a fresh take on apocalypse stories.”
—Library Journal
“A promising kickoff to a planned trilogy. For Winters, the beauty is in the details rather than the plot’s grim main thrust.”
—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
“Ben H. Winters spins a wonderful tale while creating unique characters that fit in perfectly with the ever-changing societal pressures.… [This] well-written mystery will have readers eagerly awaiting the second installment.”
—The New York Journal of Books
“Extraordinary—as well as brilliant, surprising, and, considering the circumstances, oddly uplifting.”
—Mystery Scene Magazine
“Exhilarating.… Do not wait for the movie!”
—E! Online
PRAISE FOR
Countdown City:
The Last Policeman Book II
Winner of the Philip K. Dick Award
“Winters is a deft storyteller who moves his novel effortlessly from its intriguing setup to a thrilling, shattering conclusion.”
—Los Angeles Review of Books
“As with the first Hank Palace novel (this is volume 2 of a trilogy), the mystery element is strong, and the strange, pre-apocalyptic world is highly imaginative and also very plausible—it’s easy to think that the impending end of the world might feel very much like this. Genre mash-up master Winters is at it again.”
—Booklist
“I always appreciate novels that have new and interesting approaches to traditional genres, and Ben H. Winters’ two novels featuring Hank Palace fill the bill.”
—Nancy Pearl, “NPR’s Guide to 2013’s Best Reads”
“Through it all Palace remains a likeable hero for end times, and … readers are left to wonder how he’ll survive to tell his final tale.”
—Publishers Weekly
Copyright © 2014 by Ben H. Winters
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2014903377
eISBN: 978-1-59474-686-4
Designed by Gregg Kulick based on a design by Doogie Horner
Cover photographs: (man) © Ibai Acevedo/Moment Select/Getty Images; (meteor) © Ian McKinnell/Photographer’s Choice/Getty Images; (building) © Hillary Fox/E+/Getty Images; (dog) © ideeone/E+/Getty Images
Production management by John J. McGurk
Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
quirkbooks.com
v3.1
For Diana
“… I’m gonna love you
till the wheels come off
oh, oh yeah …”
“And I won’t let go and I can’t let go
I won’t let go and I can’t let go
I won’t let go and I can’t let go no more”
—Bob Dylan, “Solid Rock”
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Wednesday, August 22
Part One - American Spirit
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Wednesday, August 22
Part Two - Blue Town Man
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Part Three - Joy
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Part Four - Go On and Get to Work
Wednesday, August 22
Part Five - Isis
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Part Six - Plan B
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Epilogue: Wednesday, October 3
Acknowledgements
About the Author
“Are you here about the dust? Please tell me you’re here to do something about the dust.”
I don’t answer. I don’t know what to say.
The girl’s voice is throaty and ill, her eyes looking out over a nose-and-mouth mask, staring hopeful and crazed at me as I stand baffled on her doorstep. Beautiful blonde, hair swept back out of her face, dirty and exhausted like everybody, panicked like everybody. But there’s something else going on here, something not healthy. Something biochemical in her eyes.
“Well, come in,” she says through her allergy mask. “Come on, come in, close the door, the door.”
I step inside and she kicks the door shut and whirls around to face me. Yellow sundress, faded and tattered at the hem. Starved-looking, sallow, pale. Wearing not just the allergy mask but thick yellow latex gloves. And she’s armed to the teeth is the other thing, she’s holding two semiautomatics and has a smaller gun tucked in her boot, plus some kind of heavy-duty hunting knife in a calf sheath at the hem of the sundress. And I can’t tell if it’s live or not, but there is unquestionably a grenade dangling from a braided belt at her waist.
“Do you see the dust?” she says, gesturing with the guns, pointing into the corners. “You see how we’ve got a serious problem with the dust?”
It’s true that there are motes hovering in the sunbeams, along with the garbage scattered on the floor, heaps of dirty clothing and open trunks spilling over with all manner of useless things, magazines and electrical cords and wadded-up dollar bills. But she’s seeing more than what’s here, I can tell, she’s in the outer reaches, she’s
blinking furiously, coughing behind her mask.
I wish I could recall this girl’s name. That would help a lot, if I could just remember her name.
“What do we do about this?” she says, rattling out words. “Do you just vacuum it, or—? Is that it—do you just suck it up and take it out of here? Does that work with cosmic dust?”
“Cosmic dust,” I say. “Huh. Well, you know, I’m not sure.”
This is my first trip to Concord, New Hampshire, since I fled a month ago, since my house burned down, along with much of the rest of the city. The chaos of those final frantic hours has died down to a grim and mournful silence. We’re a few blocks from downtown, in the abandoned husk of a store on Wilson Street, but there are no jostling anxious crowds outside, no frightened people rushing and pushing past each other in the streets. No klaxon howl of car alarms, no distant gunfire. The people are hidden now, those that remain, hidden under blankets or in basements, encased in their dread.
And the girl, disintegrating, raving about imaginary dust from outer space. We’ve met once before, right here at this same small shop, which was once a used-clothing store called Next Time Around. She wasn’t like this then, hadn’t fallen prey to it. Other people are sick in the same way, of course, to varying degrees, different kinds of symptomatology; if the DSM-IV were still being updated and applied, this new illness would be added in red. A debilitating obsession with the gigantic asteroid on a collision course with our fragile planet. Astromania, perhaps. Delusional interstellar psychosis.
I feel like if I could only call her by her name, remind her that we have a relationship, that we’re both human beings, it would ease her unsettled mind and make me less of a threat. Then we could talk calmly.
“It’s toxic, you know,” she’s saying. “Really, really bad. The cosmic dust is real, real bad on your lungs. The photons burn your lungs.”
“Listen,” I say, and she makes a panicked gasp and rushes toward me, her assorted armaments jangling.
“Keep your tongue in your mouth,” she hisses. “Don’t taste it.”
“Okay. I’ll try. I won’t.”
I keep my hands at my sides, where she can see them, keep my expression neutral, soft as cake. “I’m actually here for some information.”
“Information?” Her brows knit with confusion. She peers at me through clouds of invisible dust.
It’s not her I’m here to talk to, anyway; it’s her friend I need. Boyfriend, maybe. Whatever he is. That’s the guy who knows where I need to go next. I hope he does, anyway. I’m counting on it.
“I need to speak to Jordan. Is Jordan here?”
Suddenly the girl finds focus, snaps to attention, and the pistols come up. “Did he—did he send you?”
“No.” I raise my hands. “No.”
“Oh my God, he sent you. Are you with him? Is he in space?” She’s shouting, advancing across the room, the barrels of the semiautomatics aimed at my face like twin black holes. “Is he doing this?”
I turn my head to the wall, scared to die, even now, even today.
“Is he doing this to me?”
And then—somehow—miraculously—the name.
“Abigail.”
Her eyes soften, widen slightly.
“Abigail,” I say. “Can I help you? Can we help each other?”
She gapes at me. Heavy silence. Moments flying past, time burning away.
“Abigail, please.”
1.
I’m worried about my dog.
He’s limping now, on top of everything else, on top of the dry cough that rattles his small frame as he breathes, on top of the nasty burrs that have tangled themselves irretrievably in his matted fur. I don’t know where or how he picked it up, this deep limp in his right forepaw, but here he comes now, moving slow out of the evidence room behind me, slipping through my legs and slouching with a pronounced foot-drag down the hallway. He shuffles away, poor little guy, nosing along the baseboard, his coat smudged but still white.
I watch him with deep unease. It wasn’t fair of me to take Houdini along. A mistake I made without even thinking about it, inflicting upon my dog the rigors of a long and uncertain journey, the unhygienic drinking water and sparse food, the hikes along deserted highway shoulders and through fallow fields, the fights with other animals. I should have left him with McConnell and the others, back at the safe house in Massachusetts, left him with McConnell’s kids, all the other kids, the other dogs, a safe and comfortable environment. But I took him. I never asked him if he wanted to come, not that a dog in any case could fairly weigh the risks and rewards.
I took him, and we crossed eight hundred fifty complicated miles in five long weeks, and the wear is showing on the dog, no doubt about it.
“I’m really sorry, pal,” I whisper, and the dog coughs. I pause in the hallway, breathing in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling.
It was the same in the evidence room as in the rest of the place: thick coatings of dust on the shelves, filing cabinets turned over and emptied out. Odors of must and mildew. In Dispatch, on someone’s desk between the blank laptops and the old foot-switch RadioCOMMAND console, there was an ancient sandwich, half eaten and crawling with ants. Nothing good, nothing helpful or hopeful.
We arrived very late last night and began our search immediately, and now it’s three hours later and the sun is beginning to rise—dull pale beams filtering in through the glass-paned front door, down at the east end of the hall—and we’ve worked through most of the building and nothing. Nothing. A small police station, like the one in Concord, New Hampshire, where I used to work. Even smaller. All night I’ve gone through on my hands and knees with my magnifying glass and fat Eveready flashlight, taking the place room by room: Reception, Dispatch. Administration, Holding Cell, Evidence.
Cold certainty slowly filling me, like dirty water rising in a well: there’s nothing.
Officer McConnell knew it. She told me this was a fool’s errand. “So you have, what, the name of a town?” is what she said.
“A building,” I said. “The police station. In a town. In Ohio.”
“Ohio?” Skeptical. Arms crossed. Scowling. “Well, you won’t find her. Also, if you do? So what?”
I remember what it felt like, her being angry, justified in her anger. I just nodded. I kept packing.
Now, in the flat dawn light of the empty hallway of the empty police station, I make a fist with my right hand and raise it to a forty-five-degree angle and bring it down like the hammer of a gun, slam it backward into the wall I’m leaning against. Houdini turns around and stares at me, bright black animal eyes glinting like marbles in the dark.
“All right,” I tell him. He makes a wet noise in the back of his throat. “Okay. Let’s just keep looking.”
* * *
A few feet down the hall is a plaque honoring the service of Daniel Arnold Carver, on the occasion of his retirement from the Rotary, Ohio, Police Department at the rank of lieutenant, in the Year of Our Lord 1998. Next to that commemoration is an upside-down horseshoe of construction-paper cards from local children: stick-figure cops waving gaily in bold Crayola colors, with “Thanks for the tour!” written below in the neat handwriting of an elementary school teacher. The cards are dangling from fading twists of Scotch tape; the plaque is slightly misaligned and covered in a half inch of dust.
The next room is on the left, a few feet past the plaque and the kids’ drawings. It’s marked DETECTIVES, although the first thing I notice on entering is that there was only one detective. One desk, one swivel chair. One landline phone, with the cord cut, the receiver sitting unattached in the cradle like stage furniture. A long-dead flowering plant hangs from the ceiling: wilted stalks and clumps of brown leaves. A plastic water bottle on its side, half crushed.
I can picture the detective who once sat in this room, tilted back in the chair, finalizing the small details of a coming meth-lab bust, say, or cursing with crusty good humor at some ham-fisted directive from the kno
w-nothings over in Admin. I sniff the air and imagine I detect the ancient stale odor of his cigars.
Her cigars, actually. Hers. There’s a thick leather log book on the desk with a name neatly stenciled across the top right corner: Detective Irma Russel. “My apologies, Detective Russel,” I tell her, wherever she may be, and toss a salute off into the air. “I should know better.”
I think of Officer McConnell again. She kissed me at last, up on her tiptoes, at the door. Then she pushed me, a good two-handed shove, to send me off on my adventure. “Go,” she said. Fondly, sadly. “Jerk.”
The watery daylight is not fully penetrating the one dust-coated window in the detectives room, so I switch back on the beam of the Eveready and hover it over Detective Russel’s log book and flip my way through. The first entry is from just seven months ago. February 14. On Valentine’s Day, Detective Russel reported in neat cursive handwriting that rolling blackouts had been ordered for all municipal buildings countywide, and henceforth all record keeping would be done with pen and paper.
The entries that follow are a record of decline. On March 10 there was a small riot at a food pantry in neighboring Brown County, which spread quickly, resulting in “general civil unrest of unanticipated levels.” It is noted on March 30 that the department’s force-readiness levels are significantly depleted, at thirty-five percent of previous year’s staffing. (“Jason quit!!!” Detective Russel notes parenthetically, the exclamation points bristling with surprise and disappointment.) On April 12, a “Bucket List rapist” was apprehended and turned out to be “Charlie, from Blake’s Feed Supply!!!”
I smile. I like this Detective Russel. I’m not wild about all the exclamation points, but I like her.
I follow the neat handwriting down the run of months. The last entry, dated June 9—sixteen weeks ago—just says “Creekbed,” and then “Heavenly Father keep a good eye on us, would ya?”
I linger for a moment, hunched over the notebook. Houdini pads into the room, and I feel his tail brush against my pant leg.