"The doctors say it's either some sort of reaction to stress, or the damage wrought by the sun. The loss of my father, perhaps." Was she changing this story, embellishing it? She hoped not.
"Grief and injury, then," he said.
"Yes," she said, placing the glasses back on the bridge of her nose. "I didn't want to startle you with it."
"What a wonder," Alex said quietly.
"Is it?" she asked.
"That grief and injury could combine to produce something so beautiful," he said, his voice sounding distant and far away. "But I guess that's no mystery, really. They say diamonds are made by the violence beneath the surface of the earth."
"They are not diamonds, Alex. Just my eyes."
"But they are as beautiful as diamonds," he said. "And I fear that's why you didn't want to show them to me."
"How's that?"
"Fear of stirring some of my old romantic feelings for you, perhaps."
"I'm not quite that vain, I hope."
"No. You are not vain at all. I only wish to assure you that I have released all old expectations, as it were. There was a time, before our trip, when I was content to wait forever. I was confident that one day you would come to see my feelings for you as something other than a burden."
"I never saw them as a burden, Alex."
"You did. And it's perfectly understandable. It was my father who wanted us to marry. My father and your uncle. And so what defense did I have against any man who truly captured your heart? As soon as Mr. Ramsey entered your life, it was clear I'd lost the game. I'm resigned to it now. My only regret is that I didn't lose with a bit more grace early on."
He was speaking of that ugly evening on the ship bound for Egypt when Alex had quoted all sorts of judgment-laced half-truths about Egyptian history in a manner surely designed to taunt his new rival for Julie's affection. Worse, he'd refused to retreat from any of them once it was clear how much he'd upset their Egyptian traveling companion.
Still, he was, as had become his habit, being mercifully unfair to himself. Spurned suitors throughout history had done far worse than start a small quarrel at a dinner table.
"You are a perfect gentleman, Alex Savarell, and you always will be."
"You are being kind."
"Because you have earned nothing from me but kindness."
"I simply mean to say you should not hesitate to show me anything which makes you even finer of feature. You are free now, Julie. Free of any old feelings of mine which were unreturned, however politely. Freed by my obsession with a madwoman, I'm afraid."
"Oh, Alex. I'm not sure that's an acceptable price."
"Well, fortunately, I'm the only one who'll have to pay it."
"Only so as long as you insist on taking responsibility for someone else's lunacy and delusions," Julie said.
"Then there isn't some great weakness in me?" he asked. "Something that repelled you? Something that repelled her as well, that caused her to drive off so recklessly even as I begged her not to?"
"Of course not!"
"So I'm without flaw? That's good to know."
"You have the same weaknesses as so many men of high breeding."
"And those are?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow.
"A bit of stubbornness, and a tendency to dismiss strong feeling."
"Ramsey has certainly encouraged you to be more free with your opinions. I'll say that much. And so you don't agree with my father?"