Author: L A Cotton
Category: Contemporary
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/l-a-cotton/page,5,592781-tragic_lies_a_forbidden_age-gap_romance_rixon_high.html
“About time she put you in your place, man.” Gav winked at me.
Lily and Kaiden finally joined us and the four of them launched into a conversation about the game Friday night.
Bryan kept his arm around me, and for as much as I knew it was a fine line to walk with him, I made no effort to remove it. The truth was I didn’t want him, but I liked his comfort. I liked the feel of his strong arms braced around me.
A trickle of awareness ran up my spine as I glanced over at the door where Jase and Xander appeared. He barely looked twice in my direction. And it bothered me.
It shouldn’t have.
He didn’t owe me anything. But I guess I thought… I don’t know what I thought. All I knew is, when I woke up in the hospital, cold and confused, I’d immediately looked for him.
The man who saved me.
The man whose voice had tethered me to this life.
“I’ll pretend I can’t see this,” Jase said, throwing Lily and Kaiden a bemused look.
She burrowed into Kaiden’s side, fighting a smile. “We’re just hugging, Dad.”
“Yeah, well, I’m no fool. I know hugging leads to kissing, and kissing leads to—”
“Oh my God, Dad.” Her cheeks pinked, as the guys chuckled. Kaiden didn’t seem embarrassed or even intimidated by Jase. He was completely at ease, holding his girl in front of her father.
Good on him.
Lily deserved to have a guy who fought for her, who stood up for her and loved her without reservation.
My chest ached as my eyes fluttered to the ground. When I lifted them again, Xander was looking at me. No, not looking at me; he was staring at me, his brows drawn tight with concern.
My breath caught, my lips parting on a soft exhale. It seemed to shake him free from his thoughts and he ran a hand down his face. “I gotta go,” he said to no one in particular.
“You need a ride?” Jase asked, and Xander shook his head.
“I’m heading to Bell’s.”
“You sure that’s a good idea on a school night?”
“As good as any.” He smirked and walked off without so much as a backward glance.
“Hey, you okay?” Bryan murmured against my hair and Jase cleared his throat.
“Something you two want to tell me?” He eyed us carefully, a flicker of concern there when he looked at me.
I tried to wiggle out of Bryan’s hold, but he only pulled me closer. “No, sir,” he said smoothly. “We’re just friends… right, babe?”
“Bryan,” I hissed.
Laughter rumbled in his chest. “You don’t need to worry, Coach. I know the deal. Peyton doesn’t date.”
Oh my God, I was going to kill him. Knee him in the balls and—
“Peyton?” Jason asked.
“We’re just friends.”
“Friends,” he murmured, his eyes looking to the sky as if he was asking for some kind of divine intervention. When he looked at us again, he said, “I thought I’d seen it all… done it all, but here I am with three teenage girls under my roof. Remember your curfew,” he added, before taking off toward his truck.
“And Kaiden?” Jason glanced back at the last second.
“Yes, Coach?”
“If I catch you sneaking out of my daughter’s room one more time, I’ll string you up by your balls on the football field. Got it?”
“Got it, Coach.” Kaiden swallowed hard.
Lily’s eyes bugged out as she slapped a hand over her mouth.
“You okay there?” he whispered against her hair.
“He… he knows.”
“He’s Jason Ford. Of course he knows,” Gav chuckled.
“B-but… oh my God.”
“Relax,” Kaiden said. “He’s cool.”
“Cool about us… about me… oh God.”
Even I smiled at Lily’s freak out. “Kaiden’s right, babe. Your dad is the coolest. If he cared that much, he’d put bars on your windows and a lock on your door.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“So what are we doing?” Bryan changed the subject. “Or are you two… ya know.” His brows waggled.
“Asshole.” Kaiden punched him in the arm. “I told Aaron we’d go hang out at his house.”
“Sounds good to me, let’s roll.”
“Peyton, you coming?” Lily asked, and I glanced between her and Bryan. It wasn’t like she and Kaiden would make me feel unwelcome if I rode with them but playing third wheel wasn’t exactly my idea of fun. Especially not right now.
“I’ll ride with Bryan and Gav.”
“You’re sure?” Concern glittered in her eyes.
“Yeah. See you there.”
The Bennet twins lived in a house not all too dissimilar to Bryan’s, minus the indoor swimming pool and home theater. It was a beautiful place overlooking the river, and Mr. Bennet, one of Lily’s dad’s best friends had given his son Aaron free reign of the garden shed, letting him and his friends turn it into a hangout. There was a huge sectional facing a flatscreen, a pool table, and even a makeshift bar area. It was where we usually hung out since Lily’s sister Poppy was best friends with Aaron’s sister Sofia.
I liked it here, but I never truly felt one hundred percent comfortable seeing as Aaron and Sofia’s mom—Mya Bennet—was the guidance counselor at Rixon High, the one person who probably knew more about me than I was ever willing to tell.
“Leigh, you’re up,” Aaron called, holding out the cue for her. Ashleigh regularly kicked the guys’ ass at pool, and usually I enjoyed watching, enjoyed teasing them about it.
But not tonight.
Tonight, I wanted to be anywhere but here.
“You need a drink? Snacks?” Bryan asked from beside me. He’d sat there nearly all night, like a sentinel watching over me. It was as sweet as it was suffocating. But I didn’t have the heart—or energy—to tell him I needed space.
“No, I’m good.” I gave him a weak smile and his eyes narrowed, shimmering with concern.
“We could always get out of here?” He let the words, the insinuation, hang between us.
“I don’t—”
“Shit, that was a dumb thing to say. I just want to help, in any way I can.” His expression softened.
“I know. You’re a good friend, Bryan.”
“Friend, right.” His lips thinned and a bolt of guilt went through me.
I knew he wanted more than friendship, but I couldn’t give it to him.
“You should lay off the candy, Bry,” Gav said, dropping down beside him. “You’ll have your work cut out for you Friday. The Panthers have one of the best offenses in the state.
“Let them bring it,” he shrugged, “I’m ready.”
“We’re ready,” Kaiden added, pulling Lily down on his lap. She nuzzled his neck, and it wasn’t long before they were making out.
“Get a room,” Aaron yelled.
Kaiden flipped him off over his head and snickers rang out around me.
These people were my friends. Ten of us crammed into the renovated shed. Yet, I’d never felt more alone as I did then, sitting there among their chatter and easy laughter.
It wasn’t that I wanted them to be awkward around me. I didn’t. I just couldn’t stand the pity stares and sympathy in their eyes every time they looked at me. But the truth was, it wasn’t them at all.
It was me.
Something had changed inside me that night. Intrinsically altered. And the things I used to take comfort in and enjoy no longer seemed significant.
“You want to go home?” Lily asked me while the guys talked about the upcoming game. I shook my head.
“I’m fine.” Because being at the Ford’s, in my spacious bedroom with its own bathroom and views of their yard, was another kind of torture.
My skin vibrated, my stomach awash with emotion. It wasn’t grief, or even heartache. It was something else entirely.
Lily let out a small sigh and I pressed my lips into a thin smile. She wanted to help; they all did.
But this wasn’t something anyone could fix. It was something I had to deal with alone.
Alone.
I guess that was something else I had to get used to.
Ashleigh gave us a ride back to the house. Lily and Poppy wanted to raid the refrigerator before bed, but I declined any food, grabbing a bottle of water and going straight up to my room. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, a tight band squeezing my rib cage.
I closed my door and headed straight for the bathroom, gripping the counter as I stared at myself. My eyes were dull, dark circles ringing them thanks to the lack of sleep I was getting. But every time I closed my eyes, I saw her lifeless body, the blood pooled around her.
A shudder ran down my spine and I retched into the silence. Emotion balled in my throat, knotted in my stomach. I couldn’t go to sleep. Not yet. I needed… I needed something—anything—to make it all stop.
Before I knew what I was doing, I pulled the paring knife, the one I’d swiped from the knife block downstairs, from my back pocket. I hadn’t meant to take it… but it had been right there, taunting me. Calling to me. Lily and Poppy had been so distracted raiding the refrigerator that before I knew it, I’d taken it and shoved it in my pocket. My hands trembled as I pressed my thumb against the sharp blade. It stung, but there was something else too… something that unfurled shame deep inside me.
Sucking in a sharp breath, I pressed harder, wincing as a bead of blood formed there. But some of the tension inside me ebbed away.
Is this what she felt? In those minutes or hours before I found her, is this what my mom had been searching for?
My hands moved involuntarily, slipping to my jeans and pushing them off my hips. I dropped down to the bathroom floor, pressing my back to the tub as I clutched the knife in my hand.
It was a bad idea.
But it could be worse, couldn’t it?
I could be sneaking out, getting drunk, getting into all kinds of trouble. At least I was here, safe in the Ford’s house. I wouldn’t go too far. Just enough to give me that burst of relief again. Just enough to chase away the oppressive weight crushing my chest.
My legs fell open, the soft skin of my thighs visible. I dragged the tip of the knife along the fleshy part of my inner thigh, angling it just enough that the blade pressed into my skin. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks as a war raged inside me. I just wanted it to stop.
I just wanted to breathe…
An anguished cry slipped from my lips as I dug the knife harder, slicing my skin open. Blood pooled there, another cry rolling off my tongue as a shudder ripped through me. It hurt, but the release… the release was like a rush of euphoria flowing through me.
My eyes shuttered as I dropped my head back and expelled a shaky breath. I felt lighter than I had in days. But the second my eyes opened, landing on the blood trickling down my thigh, the feeling became edged with shame.
What the hell was I doing?
The knife clattered to the tiles as the tears came thick and fast, a violent storm sweeping me away, tearing me in two.
On the one hand, I felt better. The endorphins chased away the constant torrent of emotions swelling inside me. And on the other hand, I felt disgusted at myself. But as the trickle of blood slowed and my breathing returned to normal, the high dissipated and the shame simmered leaving me numb once more.
Chapter Six
Xander
Being crammed on a school bus full of football players wasn’t exactly my idea of fun.
The ride to Pittsburgh was long, noisy, and by the time we reached the high school hosting tonight’s game, I was ready to find the nearest bar and lose myself in the bottom of a glass of whiskey… or two.
But we had a game to win, and the work was only just beginning.
“Okay, listen up,” Jase stood, grabbing the overhead storage rack for support. “We’ve got ninety minutes until kick off. I want you to remember you’re not only representing the team tonight, but you’re also representing the school and the whole goddamn town. Everyone’s looking to you, so don’t screw it up.”
He was tense, the lines around his eyes deeper than usual. I got it. Coaching a winning team was no easy task, especially in a town like Rixon. But it was more than that—he was Jason Ford, one of the most successful quarterbacks in NFL history. And although his career might have been cut short due to injury, his list of accolades certainly hadn’t been.
Jase had big shoes to fill, but if anyone could do it, it was him.
The bus screeched to a stop and the door cranked open. I shook my head, smothering a smile. The football team was one of the best funded programs in state, and yet the school couldn’t afford an upgrade from the heap of junk we were in.
“Okay,” Jase tapped the roof, “let’s go play some football.”
The guys jostled one another to get off the bus, the air charged with anticipation. Until arriving at Rixon High to coach the team, I’d forgotten just how electric Friday nights could be. These young men were thrust onto a pedestal and worshipped like gods. That kind of fan worship was addictive. All-consuming. It made young men think they were untouchable. Invincible. It made them think they were above reproach.
But I knew better than anyone how precarious that position was.
“You ready?” Jase asked me when everyone else was off the bus.
“As I’ll ever be.” I got up and grabbed my bag. Pittsburgh was an eight-hour round trip, so the school board had sanctioned an overnight stay. Which didn’t only mean keeping forty-eight football players in line at the game, it meant keeping them in line once we got to the hotel.
At least my brother, Hailee, Fee, and the Bennets were also going to be here. Football wasn’t only Jason’s job; it was a family affair. He, Cameron, and Asher had once worn Raiders jerseys, once walked this path to the championship. Now it was their younger generation’s turn. My nephew Avery had his time before leaving for college a couple of years ago, and now it was Aaron’s turn. A junior, he had football in his blood, and I had no doubts he’d go far.
“I know this is only supposed to be a temporary thing,” he said, as we filed off the bus. “But you’re proving more useful than I anticipated.”
“Thanks, asshole,” I muttered under my breath, and Jase laughed.
“You know what I mean. The guys respond to you. I think having someone a bit younger around bridges that gap.”
“Try telling that to Huckley.”
“He still giving you a hard time?” Jase’s eyes narrowed with concern.
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Darryn is good, but he’s old school and you didn’t—”
“Earn my spot. Yeah, I know.” I let out a thin breath.
“Look,” he pinned me with a knowing look, “don’t let him get under your skin. You’re here because I want you here. And I’ve been meaning to talk to you about making it more permanent. You’re an asset to the team, Xander. What do you think?”
“I appreciate the offer, Jase, I do, but…”
“But?”
“I’m not sure I’m cut out for it long term.”
“Thought you’d say that.” He scoffed. “And I know you probably won’t believe me, but maybe this is exactly what you need. You’re lost, Xan. Maybe you need something more permanent to help you find yourself again.”
“Hey, Coach,” someone yelled, and Jase gave me an apologetic look.
“Go,” I said, flicking my head over to where the team was slowly making their way toward the football field.
He threw his bag over his shoulder and took off toward them. I watched as they stepped aside to let him up front, to lead them. Jase might have been a hard ass at times, but the team respected him. The other coaches respected him too.
Hell, I respected him.
And I knew he was only trying to help, offering me something more permanent than one season with the team. But was I really looking to make a career out of this? It wasn’t exactly what I had planned for myself.
>
But neither was living in a studio apartment, driving a beat-up Chevy, with less than a couple hundred bucks in my bank account.
Fuck. Maybe I needed to consider this. I could turn things around. Shed my status as the down-and-out of the family and really make something of myself.
Nah. Who was I kidding? I’d only mess it up eventually. And then Jase would regret the day he ever invited me onto the team, and Cam would only resent me more than he did already.
One season, that’s all I was good for. I’d help the team reach the finals, hopefully witness them bring home the championship, put some money in the bank, and then go on my way.
After all, I’d accepted a long time ago that there was no happy ending for my story.
“Run, RUN!” Jase bellowed, watching as Cole Kandon, one of the team’s wide receivers, took off down the field. He was Aaron’s best friend and also a junior. Fast and strong, his legs ate up the yard markers. Forty… thirty… twenty…
“Go, GO!” Jase’s fists curled ready to punch the air. The bleachers roared behind us, the visiting crowd cheering on their team.
“Yes, yes… fuck, yes,” he bellowed just as Cole slammed the ball into the end zone, the announcer’s declaration of ‘touchdowwwwnnn’ echoing over the speakers.
The boom of the crowd slammed into me, taking my breath away so much that I sucked in a sharp breath. Everyone was already celebrating. Even with a few minutes left on the clock, the Panthers couldn’t beat us now. The Rixon Raiders were headed to the semi-finals next week.
One step closer to the championship.
Kaiden jogged over to us, Aaron and Cole hot on his heels.
“Get over here, Kandon,” Jase hooked his arm around Cole’s neck and smashed their heads together, not caring that Cole still had his helmet on. “That’s how it’s done, son. You just put us in the final four. Congratulations.”
“Thanks, Coach,” Cole said, but I caught a hint of hesitation there.
“Okay, get back out there and finish it,” Jase clapped him on the shoulder, and they jogged back onto the field, getting ready for the field goal.