Author: L A Cotton
Category: Contemporary
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/l-a-cotton/page,15,592781-tragic_lies_a_forbidden_age-gap_romance_rixon_high.html
“Relax, there’s no reason you’d remember. But I usually visit him and Mom and—”
“Of course, take some personal hours. We’ll be able to hold the fort without you. Just make sure you’re back on Thursday with a clear head.” He gave me a knowing look.
“I will. We have a championship to win.”
“Damn right, we do.”
A faint smile traced my mouth. “I’m going to get a start on those game tapes,” I said.
“Good. I want you to make sure Kaiden is ready for Bridderton. They have a big defense.”
“He’ll be ready.”
“Okay, get out of here and I’ll check in on you later.”
“You got it, Coach.”
Memories assaulted me. Ten years ago, I’d stood in this very office on the cusp of my senior year championship game. Coach Hasson had looked to me to lead the team all the way… All I had to do was want it.
“Xander?” Jase’s voice pulled me from my reverie. “You okay over there?”
“Yeah, Coach, I’m okay.”
What choice did I have?
It wasn’t like I could go back in time and change a damn thing.
Whoever decided to push the football championships to the last weekend before schools got out for the holidays had severely underestimated how amped the student body would be.
Everyone was talking about the upcoming game and their plans for the holidays. It was chaos in the halls.
“Xander, wait up,” Mya Bennet cornered me as I made a rare trip to the school cafeteria. But after hours of studying game tapes and drinking nothing but strong coffee, I needed sustenance.
“What’s up?” I said, taking her lead to step aside for the steady stream of kids.
“Have you spoken to Peyton lately?”
Everything inside me froze. “I saw her at Jase’s a couple of times. Why?”
“I’m worried,” she said. “She’s refusing grief counselling. And I heard there was a fight this morning, but when I asked her about it, she brushed me off saying it was just a misunderstanding.”
“I get you’re worried, but what does it have to do with me?”
“You saved her, Xander. And I know you’re not entirely comfortable with the idea that Peyton sees you as… her savior. But I just thought maybe she might have tried to talk to you. You’re right though, I’m probably overstepping. It’s a delicate situation with you working here and knowing her outside of the school too.”
“Look, Mya, I’m not really sure what you want me to say.” I dragged a hand down my face. “I did what anyone else would have done.”
“I know. Sorry. I’m just finding her a tough nut to crack. She’s been through so much. I don’t want her to jeopardize her senior year.”
“Have you tried asking her what she wants?”
Mya’s brows knitted together. “What do you mean?”
“Like you said, she’s had her whole world tipped on its side. And everyone’s so eager to fix things for her, but has anyone stepped back and bothered to ask what she wants?”
Surprise shone in Mya’s eyes. “You know, you ever want to quit football, I could use an extra pair of hands in the guidance counsellor’s office.”
“You’re joking, right?” I didn’t know the first thing about giving advice and guidance.
“I’m serious, Xander. After everything you’ve been through, I think the kids could really benefit from having someone who understands what it’s like.”
“What it’s like?” I asked, choosing to focus on that rather than the fact it sounded like she was offering me a job.
“Yeah,” her expression softened, “being an outsider, trying to find your place in the world.” I didn’t like the way she looked at me, through me, as if she saw straight past my defenses.
“I’m not that guy, Mya.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. I really think—”
“Mrs. Bennet, can I have a minute please?” A student chose the perfect moment to interrupt.
“Sure, Terri, what’s up?”
“Can we… uh… go inside?” The girl motioned to Mya’s office.
“Sure. Go right in and I’ll be there. Sorry,” Mya said to me. “Looks like duty calls.”
“It’s fine. I need to get back anyway.”
“What I said… It’s just another option, no pressure.” She gave me a warm smile before disappearing back into her office. I didn’t speak to Mya a lot, sometimes in passing and at the occasional gathering I attended with my brother and Jase, but that had to be one of the strangest conversations I’ve ever had.
I wasn’t guidance counselor material. I barely had my own life on track. Not to mention the fact I was thinking highly inappropriate things about one of her students.
Shaking the thoughts from my head, I continued on to the cafeteria, only to walk straight into Kaiden, Bryan, and Gav.
“So the rumors are true then?” I said to Bryan, noting the bruise along his jaw.
“Why don’t you ask that fucker Farrow,” he grumbled.
“I thought I warned you not to do anything stupid.” My brow arched.
“Yeah, well, you didn’t hear what he was saying to Peyton.”
My spine went rigid. “So you were fighting over a girl.”
“Not just any girl, Coach, and you know it.” His eyes met mine, and for a second, I wondered if Bryan knew more than he let on. But there was no way… I was just being paranoid, it was just because he was aware I knew her outside of school.
“You’re lucky Coach Ford isn’t making you sit out Saturday’s game,” I said, knowing full well that Jase would fight tooth and nail to keep his best defensive tackle in the starting lineup.
“He started it,” Bryan protested.
“Yeah, but you should have known better,” Gav gave him a pointed look. “Farrow is a real piece of work, but he isn’t worth getting benched for.”
Bryan ran a hand through his hair, glancing up at me, and I knew exactly what he was thinking. Sean Farrow wasn’t worth it, but Peyton was.
I knew because I was thinking exactly the same thing.
She’d been with Farrow Saturday night; she’d been drunk with him.
Anger flashed through me. Bryan wasn’t the only person standing here that wanted to go teach Farrow a lesson. But I was the adult here, I was supposed to be the voice of reason.
Fuck.
When had life gotten so complicated?
When you pulled her near-lifeless body from the river.
A shudder ripped through me as I gave the guys a small nod and excused myself. If I stood around to listen to any more talk of Sean Farrow and Peyton, there was every chance I would do something stupid.
And I’d done enough of that already.
I didn’t see Peyton over the next couple of days, and despite looking for her around school, I knew it was for the best. It was bad enough that we’d be spending the holidays together. It was Jason and Felicity’s turn to host, so there was no escaping. Even if I only turned up for the food, he expected me to be there.
It was Wednesday afternoon, and I was ready to head out.
“You good?” Jase asked me before I reached the door.
“I’m okay.”
“Good. Go do what you gotta do then come back tomorrow with a clear head, okay?”
I managed a small nod. Today was never easy, but it felt different this year. Or maybe I was different.
Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I yanked open the door and slipped out of the locker room. No doubt Huckley would have something to say about me taking the afternoon off so close to the finals, but the team was ready. Kaiden was ready. There wasn’t anything more we could do except put all the practice and hard work into play on Saturday and hope it was enough.
I’d almost reached the parking lot when I noticed a flash of blonde out the corner of my eye. Turning, I watched Peyton as she hurried out of the side entrance of the school grounds.
Where the fuck was she going?
There was still three hours until the final bell.
Hopping in my truck, I backed out of my parking spot and headed for the gates, taking a right, in the same direction Peyton would be headed. My mind was reeling with reasons she would be leaving school in the middle of the day. Had something happened with Farrow? Had he said something to her again? Had he… hurt her?”
Fuck. My hands tightened around the wheel as I surveyed the sidewalk for any sign of her.
“Bingo,” I breathed, spotting her up ahead. It was a dreary day, with dark, angry clouds swarming overhead. It looked like it might storm. Even so, it wouldn’t stop me doing what I needed to do, not today.
Peyton on the other hand…
I eased my foot off the gas and wound down the passenger side window. “Hey.”
“Xander? Oh my God.” She clutched her throat. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“What are you doing?” I asked, keeping one eye on the road.
“Are you stalking me?”
Laughter rumbled in my chest. “Seriously?”
“Ugh, whatever. Just… go.” She adjusted the knitted hat, burrowing deeper into her coat just as a loud crack of thunder rumbled overhead. “Crap.” Peyton almost jumped out of her skin.
“Want a ride? It’s looking nasty out here.”
“No, I’m fine. I need the fresh air.”
“Get in the truck, Peyton.”
“You can’t tell me what to do. Besides, someone might see.” One of her brows lifted.
“I don’t see any other cars, do you?”
Another crack of thunder reverberated in the sky, fat drops of rain falling.
“Shit,” she muttered, glancing at me and back to the sidewalk.
“Last chance,” I said.
“Fine… fine!” Peyton stormed over to the truck and yanked open the door, climbing inside.
“If I keep rescuing you like this, you’re going to get used to it.”
Her eyes slid to mine, narrowed with suspicion. “Did you just make a joke?”
“I wouldn’t call it a joke per se.”
She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. You seem… different.”
“Don’t read too much into it,” I grumbled, taking the turn for Rixon cemetery.
“Uh, the Ford’s live in the other direction.”
“I know.”
“Okay then. Guess we can add kidnapping to your list of flaws.” Peyton let out a resigned sigh, and I peeked over at her. She’d been crying if her swollen eyes were anything to go on. But she still took my breath away. She was so fucking beautiful.
“I have a list?” The playful edge to my voice surprised me. But she looked so sad, so broken… in that moment, I would do anything to make her smile.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said quietly.
Too fucking quietly, as if she had no fight left inside her, and I refused to believe that for a second.
“Go on, try me…”
“Well, you’re arrogant, for starters.” She finally looked at me. “And brooding and you’re grumpy, so freaking grumpy.”
“Say how you really feel.” I smirked, glancing at her.
“You say one thing but do another, and you give me all these mixed signals. It’s confusing.” Her voice turned small again. “You’re confusing.”
“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t enough but it was all I had right now.
The air in the truck turned thick again, the silence almost too much to bear. But I didn’t know what to say to fix things, and she wasn’t wrong. I was all those things and more. Peyton saw me. She saw me in ways nobody ever had, and it scared the shit out of me.
“Where are we going anyway?”
“You’ll see,” I said, taking the turn for the cemetery. It was on the edge of town, bordering the dense woods leading down to the lake. I came here twice a year no matter what. Always had, always would.
But I’d never brought anyone here before.
“The cemetery… you brought me to the cemetery. Well, this isn’t creepy at all.” Peyton wiped her hand through the condensation on the window. The rain was pelting down, bouncing off the hood of my truck.
I pulled into the small dirt parking lot. There was a pavilion, so I grabbed my rain jacket from the back and climbed out, shielding myself with it while I ran around to open Peyton’s door.
“Have you lost your mind? It’s torrential—”
“Scared of a little rain?” My lips pressed together as I fought a smile.
Her eyes narrowed. “Who are you and what have you done to the Xander Chase I know and—” She stopped herself, swallowing whatever she’d been about to say.
“Come on,” I reached for her hand, disarmed by the skitter of electricity that flowed between us. If Peyton felt it, she didn’t say anything as I held the jacket over her head, closed the door, and ushered her into the pavilion.
“It’s really coming down,” she said, dropping down on the stone bench lining the wall. A wisp of cold air drifted into the air and I watched, transfixed on her soft pink lips.
“Xander?”
I blinked. “Huh?”
“Is something wrong?” The faintest of smiles traced her mouth.
That mouth.
God, the things I imagined doing with that mouth.
“I like your hat.” I said, sitting down beside her. Close enough to touch her but still far enough to resist.
“My hat.” Peyton absently reached for it. “It’s just a hat.”
“But it looks good on you.”
“Are you… flirting with me?”
“Do you always say whatever’s on your mind? Even if it can land you in trouble?”
Her smile grew. “Especially if it can land me in trouble.”
Jesus. This girl.
“Tell me what happened today at school,” I changed the subject.
Her walls immediately slammed up and she dropped her gaze to her hands, wringing them together.
“Was it Farrow again? Because if it was—”
“You’ll what?” There was no accusation in her voice, only mild curiosity. We were treading dangerous waters, quickly drifting to where the pull was too strong, and if we weren’t careful, soon we’d be drowning with no escape.
I needed to stop. The teasing and flirting. The playful words to get her to smile.
“Sean is an asshole,” she whispered, slowly meeting my eyes again. “He said some really shitty things about me the other day. I thought it was the last of it when Bryan introduced him to his fist, but apparently, he doesn’t know when to quit.”
“What happened… with him, I mean?”
“You really want to know?”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”
Peyton regarded me for a second, and I didn’t blame her hesitation. I had been giving her mixed signals. But what she didn’t realize was every time our paths crossed, it was getting harder to do the right thing. To walk away.
“You’ve got that look again,” she said, so quietly I barely heard her.
“What look?”
A beat passed.
The air crackled.
And she said six little words that sent my world spinning.
“Like you want to kiss me.”
Chapter Seventeen
Peyton
Xander didn’t blink. He didn’t do anything. Just stared at me as if he was seeing me for the first time, and I wanted to believe it meant something. I wanted so badly to believe that this was it, the moment we ignored all the rules and gave into this thing building between us.
But he didn’t lean in.
Again, he didn’t kiss me.
He didn’t do anything.
Dejection sank into me. Cold, cruel dejection. God, how many times was I going to do this? Wait for him to make a move? To prove me right and confirm what I felt every time we were together.
“Why did you bring me here, Xander?” I managed to force all of the hurt out of my voice. I didn’t even sound
angry, just resigned.
“My parents are buried here. I come here every year to see them. Twice, actually. Once on the anniversary of my mom’s death and once—”
“On the anniversary of your dad’s death.”
He nodded. “He died seventeen years ago today in a collision. Three-and-a-half years after I lost my mom. I was eleven.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
Without thinking, I reached for his hand. It didn’t matter that I still felt the tang of rejection on my tongue. Xander had comforted me when I’d needed it most. I could do the same for him.
As our fingers twined together, I don’t know who was more surprised. Me or him. But it felt so natural to be close to him, so right. Like a part of me knew he was mine, regardless of what society said.
Love wasn’t always an easy road; it was often hard and messy and chaotic. Not that I loved Xander. But I knew I was falling for him. I’d collected the scraps of attention and comfort and soft moments and now I wanted more.
I wanted everything.
“It’s my birthday soon,” I blurted, wishing the rain would drown my words out.
It didn’t.
Xander tensed beside me, reading the hidden meaning in my words. There were only twelve days until I turned eighteen. Twelve days until my age would no longer be an issue.
“The rain is letting up,” he said, untangling his hand from mine, the moment gone so quickly part of me wondered if I’d imagined it.
If it didn’t hurt so much, I would have been impressed with how effortlessly he burned hot and cold with me.
“I’m going to go…” He got up and motioned to the nearest row of headstones.
“I’ll wait here,” I said, suddenly feeling out of my depth.
He’d brought me here, to the place he visited his parents. It was too intimate to not mean something. Wasn’t it?
I wished I knew.
I wished I had experience with guys like Xander. Older guys with life experience and stories to tell. I’d lived a lot for my almost eighteen years, but I still felt so clueless around him. I was ruled by my emotions and it showed.
But I’d vowed a long time ago, to never be anything less than myself.
The rain had created a mist over the cemetery, and I watched as Xander moved down a row to two headstones side by side. I knew he and Ashleigh’s dad had lost their parents when Xander was a young boy, but I couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for him to watch his mom suffer only to lose his dad in a tragic accident three years later. He’d been eleven and had his entire world ripped apart. My heart ached for him: for the boy he was then and the man he was now. It was obvious Xander carried a lot of unresolved grief and pain over what happened.