Author: Andrew Q. Gordon
Category: LGBT
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A shrill cry filled the night as the black shield wobbled under the onslaught. The demons closed ranks and began their own chant. Their protection steadied itself and the color deepened.
Basje and his shamans increased the volume and the ripples grew brighter. The two songs fought for supremacy. The black shield pushed back against the assault, and sparks flew from where the two forces met.
“Should we help?” Farrell asked Kel.
“No. This is no contest despite how it appears right now.”
The Bendari remained calm and continued their song. Bit by bit the blue energy became deeper and brighter. Soon it pushed the black energy inward toward the demons. The shrill noise from their enemy grew louder and lost some of its smooth cadence.
Tojas broke the hypnotic chant with a roar the other panthers answered. The next wave of blue was deeper and brighter. Ever-growing ripples followed, battering the black wall in their path. Finally it shattered like a pane of thin ice.
Six thunderous pops filled the night as the black forms exploded. An eerie silence followed. The crunch of Tojas’s paws as she moved forward echoed across the snow. Basje motioned the other shamans to come closer, and they formed a knot over where the demons had been. They sang again and tendrils of blue burst from the center. The strands swayed overhead for a moment, then made for a spot on the ground.
It appeared the energy targeted the spots where he and Rojas had first fought the demons. “What are they doing?” Farrell asked.
“Making sure no speck of these creatures survived,” Kel said. “Though it is unlikely, if one of them manage to transfer even a tiny spark of itself into—”
“Come back!”
Farrell and everyone turned toward the sound. The young teen he’d sent back with Pojas raced toward them. Farrell leapt down to stop him from interrupting the Shaman. He was surprised when the lad jumped into his arms.
“Thank you,” he said and started to sob. “Thank you, Favored One.”
Farrell held the boy against his chest and fought to hold back his own tears. He hated the trauma Meglar and his god inflicted on the most vulnerable. The strength to do what the boy had done was something Farrell didn’t think he possessed.
Kel gave him a frown, but it softened when he saw Farrell’s expression. He nodded and stepped back with Flemin. Despite being in the center of a growing throng, Farrell held on to the boy and kept a tight hold on his own emotions. Finally the sobs stopped and the teen stepped back. Holding the boy by the shoulders, he did his best to smile.
“Hello.”
The tear-streaked face looked mortified. He might have pulled away except Farrell didn’t let go.
“I am shamed, Favored One.” His knees buckled and Farrell sank with him into the snow. “My weakness has brought dishonor to my family.”
“Weakness?” Farrell asked. “What I saw was courage I doubt I possess.”
The boy glanced up but quickly averted his eyes and shook his head. “You stood up to them and held them back. I was so afraid, I didn’t listen to my father and I turned to look back.”
“Everyone here today was afraid.”
“Not you.”
“Aye, even me.” He put his fingers under the boy’s chin and gently pushed up. “Can I know your name?”
“Russen, but I don’t deserve it anymore.”
The self-loathing reminded Farrell of the day Yar-del fell. A tear slid down his cheek. Not for himself but for another innocence taken by Neldin. “None deserve their name more than you, Russen. There is nothing shameful about being afraid. Especially when you have no hope of defeating your enemy. True bravery is not an absence of fear; it is the power to master that fear and do what you must.
“You think I’m brave for standing up to them, but that’s not true. It’s easy to be strong when the gods bless you with power and a magical sword. Real bravery is standing against a foe you can’t beat with nothing but a piece of steel. You were ready to sacrifice yourself for your family.”
He put his hand in his pocket and summoned the Arm. Before he pulled it out, he prayed to Khron for help. The flaming sword appeared, and Farrell took the boy’s hand and placed it on the pommel below his own. “This is the Arm of Khron. If I gave this to you, would you be less afraid to face that enemy?”
Russen nodded.
“Indeed, who wouldn’t feel courage and strength knowing holy Khron stood with you? But you didn’t have the Arm, did you?” He waited for Russen to shake his head. “No, you didn’t. Only I did. And yet you didn’t run past your mother and younger sisters. You stay back to give them a chance to escape.”
Farrell felt a shiver throughout his body. His nose tingled and he felt another tear escape. “You, your brother, and your father are the bravest people I’ve ever met. Khron would never let any but a true warrior touch His Gift. There is nothing greater than His blessing to prove you have the heart of a warrior. Do not let anyone tell you differently, Russen.”
The boy stared up at him, and Farrell winked. A smile, small at first, curved the ends of his lips. He glanced at his hand and back at Farrell. “I won’t.”
Farrell relaxed his grip, and the flaming sword disappeared. He put the Arm away and squeezed Russen’s shoulder. “Good.”
He knew everything wouldn’t be good with Russen for a while, but it was a start. The crowd watching broke up as if they realized they’d intruded on something private. One group remained and moved closer when Farrell nodded.
“I believe your family has come to collect you.” Farrell motioned to Russen. “Would you introduce me to them?”
“Of course, Favored One.” This smile consumed his face. He grabbed Farrell’s hand and tugged him toward his anxious family.
Chapter 11
FARRELL FLOATED in front of his yurt and stared north. Had the Shaman’s test been real, he’d have never had the chance to say goodbye. How easy it would be to open a Door and go home. Just for the night. He sighed and shook his head.
Of course he could do it, but Meglar could also track him if he did it often enough. Saying goodbye every morning wouldn’t be good either. It would only take away time from each day.
Kel exited his tent and stood next to him without speaking. The walk back had been anything but simple. Russen had attached himself to Farrell’s side. The boy’s adoration was a problem. When Nerti suggested Farrell get on, Russen acted as if the demons had returned. The healers would need to help him work through the trauma he’d suffered.
“How it is only I could sense them?” he asked to take his mind off Russen.
“As Champion you are attuned to them.”
“Are they able to sense me?” He stepped down and stretched.
“Only if you didn’t take steps to hide your presence,” Kel said. “But since I know you have….”
“Right.” Something picked at him, and he twisted one more time to work out the kinks. “Does it seem odd they chose now to attack? I mean, if they can’t sense me, why now? Why that family unit?”
“You ask this often.” Kel smiled and then shrugged. “If Meglar meant to lure you into revealing yourself, why didn’t he or another attack you? I think this is just what it seemed, an attack by Neldin’s minions working to increase their numbers. Six humans, traveling alone, without a shaman—there could hardly be a better opportunity.”
“Which raises a different issue. Why weren’t Russen and his family with their clan?”
“Though I suspect the answer is innocent enough, you should ask Russen.” Kel turned and pointed toward their tents. “He’s standing in the shadows waiting for you.”
Farrell closed his eyes to banish his irritation. He understood some of what Russen was going through. He didn’t, however, have time for an awestruck boy chasing him around. “Russen, come here, please.”
Separating himself from the shadows, Russen walked over.
“Why are you here?” Farrell asked as gently as he could. “You should be with your family.”
“Which doesn’t answer why you are here,” Kel said.
Russen looked at Farrell. “To serve you.”
“I see.” Farrell nodded and stole a glance at Kel. If the hero-worship annoyed him, it truly irritated his grandfather. “Grandfather, would you excuse us, please?”
“Of course.” A smirk replaced Kel’s frown and did nothing to cool Farrell’s anger.
Farrell placed a hand on Russen’s shoulder as Kel ducked into his tent. “Walk with me.”
The gentle pressure Farrell applied to Russen’s back didn’t give the lad much choice. He led them toward the northern edge of the camp. He hadn’t planned to go in this direction, but it didn’t surprise him. His subconscious wanted to go home.
They walked in silence until they reached the perimeter. Two warriors and a snow panther ambled in their direction. Farrell waved and they acknowledged him before turning around. The pair continued even after they were alone.
Russen never spoke, and Farrell kept walking as he considered what to say. The lights of the vast encampment were small when he stopped. Even then he didn’t speak immediately. He heard Russen’s teeth chatter and shook his head at his stupidity.
“Here.” Farrell pulled a wool cloak from his endless pocket. “It has a spell on it to keep you warm.”
“I’m not cold.” He tried to stifle his shivering but didn’t succeed.
Ignoring the protest, Farrell draped the cloth over his thin shoulders. “I know you’re not, but you might get cold standing for too long.”
This time Russen didn’t object. Farrell noted with satisfaction how he pulled it tighter once he wore it. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Farrell looked north again. “Walk this way for six weeks and you’ll find yourself before the gates of Trellham. You could make it in fourteen days or less riding a unicorn.”
Russen stared in the same direction as Farrell. “Is that your home?”
“No and yes. It is the ancient home of the dwarves. Khron and Honorus anointed my life partner and I kings of Trellham. But I have many other duties, so I don’t live in Trellham.”
“You’re the king of the dwarves?”
The sense of awe reminded Farrell to choose his words with greater care. “For now. That is why I asked to speak to you. I have many obligations that will take me away from the Endless Snows.”
“I can come with you.”
The courage to make such an offer impressed Farrell, but Russen’s bravery was never an issue. “That’s generous of you to leave your clan and family, but there is no way you can go with me where I’m going.”
The deep disappointment on his face didn’t change what Farrell knew to be impossible. “You could not keep up with Nerti and Flemin, and I have no unicorn for you to ride. But even if I did, there are places I need to go where even they can’t join me. It is not possible.”
“But… I could….”
“No, Russen, you can’t.” Farrell saw the hurt and decided the soft approach wouldn’t work. “Kel’s time is nearly over. He and I are taking a journey that will be his last. Mine as well if I understand the signs I read.”
“No….” He shook his head. “You can’t.”
“I must.” Farrell met the boy’s terror-filled stare. “For the well-being of his clan, a Bendari would willingly lay down his life. You know this. And you live this. When the demons threatened your sisters and mother, you fell back to give them time to escape. It’s what we do.”
“But….”
“Would you ask me to turn my back on the good of my clan?”
Russen shook his head. “Of course not.”
“Then my path is clear.” He stared at the boy, hoping he’d made his point.
“I understand.” He nodded. “But at least I can serve while you are here.”
Farrell held back a sigh. “Why do you feel you should serve me?”
“You saved my life. You saved my whole family.”
“Why don’t you serve the Shaman, your first kar, or She Who Guides? Each of them has saved more than just your family.” He watched his words sink in. “Though you have the heart of a warrior, and the bravery of men three times your age, you are still young. In time comes wisdom, and in wisdom you will find understanding of what today meant. The Six do not wish for you to serve me; rather, they mean for me to understand my role and for whom this war is fought.
“Your offer is a gift I will always treasure. It will remain with me wherever I go. Whenever I doubt myself, I’ll remember the brave warrior who dared the impossible to save his family.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I think you do.” He smiled and placed a hand on Russen’s shoulder. “True courage may not be enough to save us, but it will enable us to save those we love.”
“But I don’t want you to die.”
“Nor do I.” He laughed. “And nothing is decided. Perhaps like you, I’ll live to tell my children what happened. But to do that, I must complete my training. I left my life partner, my children, and my friends behind so Kel could teach me what I need to know. If I couldn’t bring them….”
“You can’t take me.” Russen nodded. “I understand.”
“Good.” He tousled Russen’s hair. “There is one thing you could do for me.”
“There is?” he asked hopefully.
“Yes. It would make me happy if you would agree to be my friend.”
A face-splitting grin broke across the youth’s face. “That’s not a task I need to do for you.”
“But it is. True friends are a gift from the Six. In time I think you will understand what you did not just for me, but for all of Nendor.” He held out his arm. “Friends?”
“Of course, Favored One.” He grasped Farrell’s forearm and shook it.
“Excellent!” He put his arm around Russen’s shoulder and turned back toward the camp. “As my friend you must call me Farrell. Favored One is for those who don’t know me. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes, Favo… Farrell. I can do that.”
THE WALK back took much longer. Russen’s family made a fuss when he appeared. Then his clan joined the spontaneous celebration. Though he belonged to all the clans, the White Gulls treated him as if he were born one of them.
Despite addressing him as Favored One, they treated him the same as everyone else. Farrell enjoyed the freedom of being one among many. He did showy tricks for the children, learned the melody of a traditional song, and showed off by lifting a cart full of food. After that, a young male who’d had too much to drink invited Farrell to his tent for the night. When he declined, telling his suitor he was already joined, the man said it would be their secret.
The second kar stepped in immediately and had the man pulled away. He apologized for the insult, but it seemed to dampen everyone’s mood. Farrell used the break to say good night and headed back to his tent.
“What has you so happy?” Kel asked when he returned. “Did Russen find someone else to follow instead of you?”
“Be nice, he’s just a kid.” He waved his hand and sent his armor to a corner of his tent. “We came to an agreement. You and I are leaving and he is staying here.”
“That would make me happy.”
Farrell shrugged. “The White Gulls saw me arrive with Russen and threw an in-the-moment party in my honor. One of their unjoined men asked me to spend the night with him.”
Kel chuckled. “That is the same as a proposal among the Bendari. It is well you are already joined. Otherwise you might have agreed and found yourself betrothed to the man.”
“Perhaps.” He pulled back the flap to Kel’s tent for him. “More likely I’d have dishonored him because I couldn’t have agreed to the ceremony.”
“The Bendari are not as rigid as the clans of Arvendia.” Kel stood and waved his hand toward his bed. The blankets rolled out and the corner flipped back. “The cold weather lends itself to finding partners to keep w
arm with.”
“That makes perfect sense to me.”
“Somehow I figured it would.” He slid between the blankets and wiggled for a few seconds. Farrell smiled at how like a child Kel appeared in that moment. “You should get some sleep. We need to leave tomorrow. There are other places we still need to visit.”
“Yes, Grandfather.” It didn’t surprise him Kel wanted to leave right away, and he had no reason to stay. “I’ll be ready.”
FARRELL ROSE early and left the tent to greet the new day. Sunlight danced off the endless snow and tugged at his soul. The frozen water shared many traits of the liquid it came from. He understood the Bendari’s attachment to a land most deemed inhospitable. There was adventure, beauty, strength, and life. Where most saw an endless, monotonous white, Farrell now saw the variety that made it so stunning.
Around him the camp teemed with the activity. The days were shorter this far south. The Bendari were adept at using every second of light, but today if felt different. Gone was the friendly banter, the joy at seeing old friends, and celebratory attitude. People moved with a purpose he’d seen before. These were a people preparing for battle.
He watched the bustle as he stretched and went through his morning routine. People greeted him as they passed but none stopped. He’d become just another Bendari.
His stomach rumbled by the time he’d finished, but he didn’t look forward to breakfast. Fish stew had been a pleasant new dish at first, but now he’d rather eat Nerti’s grains than another bowl. And, having raided the kitchens at Haven just yesterday, he felt guilty going to that well again.
Resigned to eating cold travel food, he stepped down. After breakfast he’d speak to Kel about getting new supplies from Haven. When he turned toward the main camp, a familiar face approached.
“New-day greetings, Farrell,” Esward said. “I came by to see if you’ve eaten yet.”
“New-day greetings, Esward.” Farrell suspected his friend had come in hopes of trying something new from Haven. “No, I’ve not eaten. I fear I’ve used up all my good will with Haven’s cooks.”