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Author: J. A. Armstrong

Category: LGBT

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  “Ruby—”

  “No.”

  Katherine caressed Ruby’s back. “Yes,” she disagreed. “You have an entire life ahead of you—just like Logan. You both deserve to be loved. You can’t shut yourself off because I’m not here.”

  Ruby wept in Katherine’s arms. “I can’t think about that now.”

  “I know,” Katherine admitted. “I do know, but you need to understand that I want that for you. You have so much love to give, Ruby.”

  “You are—”

  “I am here right now,” Katherine said. “I wish I could be here forever. You know that I do.”

  “For me, you will be.”

  Katherine kissed Ruby’s head.

  “Kate—”

  “Ruby,” Katherine began again. “When that person comes along, you’ll know. And, she will come along—maybe not next year or the year after that but she will find you. You need to know that when she does, I will be smiling down on you.”

  “I can’t—”

  “Promise me,” Katherine said. “When you feel that again—and you will—promise me that you will hold on. Don’t run away, Ruby. That’s not who you are. I need to know that you will let yourself be loved again. Promise me.”

  Ruby sobbed through her words. “I promise.”

  Mick felt a warm wetness spread through her shit. “Ruby,” she whispered. “Why are you crying?”

  Ruby took a deep breath and held on.

  “Ruby?”

  “Because I don’t want to let you go.”

  “To work?”

  Ruby laughed through her tears. She pulled out of Mick’s embrace and shook her head affectionately.

  Mick kissed Ruby’s forehead. “I’ll be back, you know?”

  Ruby laughed and cried at the same time. She wasn’t ready to speak the words. She felt them, and she was sure that Mick did too. Love—much like life—never functioned on a convenient timetable. Life and death happened when they were good and ready. Love descended upon a person’s life without any warning. All of it flowed together. Ruby knew that. Control was an illusion. She had a choice—everyone had a choice. She could accept and embrace what life offered her—love, life, and even death. She could run from it and pretend it wasn’t real—life, death and even love. Pretending never stopped anything from being real. There was a time in life for letting go and a time for holding on. Ruby understood what many people failed to comprehend. Love meant letting go and holding on at the same time. It was life’s greatest irony. That’s what made it life’s greatest gift.

  “You had better be,” Ruby said.

  Mick pulled away and smiled at Ruby. “I should go.”

  Ruby nodded.

  Mick placed her lips on Ruby’s and kissed her tenderly. The kiss deepened gradually, a swell of emotion and desire passing between them. Mick wished she didn’t have to leave. She was sure that Ruby wasn’t ready for more—not ready for Mick to make love to her slowly. Mick didn't know if she was prepared for that either. She did know she wanted to make love to Ruby. She didn’t want a quick romp. She wasn’t seeking a momentary release. One day soon, Mick hoped to carry Ruby away and then hold her close. She would have expected her inclination to be to run away—hard and fast. Ruby quelled that urge. Amid excitement and anticipation, Mick felt a sense of comfort and safety with Ruby. Mick found herself rendered speechless when Ruby broke their kiss.

  “Soon,” Ruby said. She held Mick’s gaze. “I’m not going to let you walk back out that door.”

  I’ll hold you to that. Mick kept the thought to herself. “Merry Christmas, Ruby.” She placed one last kiss on Ruby’s lips. “I’ll see you later,” she promised.

  Ruby held her breath until Mick had managed to put on her coat and walk out the front door. She released it the moment the door closed and placed two fingertips to her lips. Mick’s kiss still tingled on her lips. Soon.

  Chapter Five

  Mick was used to endless shifts. Typically, they didn’t feel endless. Today was different. She’d been in the operating room twice. It offered a few hours of distraction. As soon as a moment of quiet time descended, her thoughts ran rampant—what were Ruby and Logan doing? She looked up at the clock in the doctor’s lounge. It reminded her of the old clocks in school. That made her think about Logan. She retrieved the phone from her pocket and gave into temptation.

  ***

  “Well, Merry Christmas,” Leona answered her daughter’s call.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  “You sound tired.”

  “I am—a little. Are you still home?”

  Leona forced herself not to laugh. Was she still home? It was six in the morning. Of course, she was still home. “Yes, I’m still home. Why are you calling me?”

  “Why wouldn’t I call you? It is Christmas morning.”

  Leona gave in and laughed. “Call Ruby, Mick.”

  “It’s still early.”

  Leona laughed harder.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You,” Leona said. “You’re cooked. Call your girlfriend. That’s who you want to talk to.”

  “She’s not my—”

  “Maybe you should rectify that,” Leona said.

  Mick groaned. “It’s still early.”

  “Something tells me she’ll take your call. I’m sure Logan will be up soon. She said she’d call when he woke up.”

  “I should let her sleep.”

  Leona kept laughing. “Goodbye, Mick. Tell Ruby I will see her shortly.”

  Before Mick could respond, Leona had disconnected the call. Mick looked at the phone in her hand. “She hung up on me.”

  “Who hung up on you?” a voice inquired.

  “My mother,” Mick told her friend, Dr. Dave Johnson.

  “Woke her up?” he guessed.

  “My mother? No way. She’s always up before the sun.” She twirled her phone in her hand.

  “Working Christmas sucks,” Dave commented.

  “I like to work Christmas.”

  “Seriously?”

  I used to like it. “Usually,” Mick said.

  “But not this year?”

  Mick looked at her friend and shrugged. “Not really.”

  “That wouldn’t have anything to do with Ruby, would it?”

  Mick smiled.

  “That’s what I thought.”

  “You’ve known her a long time—Ruby, I mean,” Mick said.

  “Seven years.”

  Dave Johnson was a nephrologist who’d worked at the hospital for over fifteen years. Ruby worked in one of two medical ICU units. They worked together regularly. Mick had noted a comradery between the pair. “So, you knew her before—”

  “Before she had Logan,” Dave said. “Ask me what you want to ask me.”

  “You knew—”

  “I knew Kate—yes. She was an APRN on the cardiac floor.”

  “What was she like?”

  “Kate?”

  Mick nodded.

  “Smart,” Dave replied. “Would’ve made an excellent doctor.”

  Mick listened with interest.

  “She was terrific,” he continued. “As both a nurse and a person. Everyone liked Kate.”

  Mick felt slightly nauseous. Her friend’s recollections didn’t surprise her. Ruby was an amazing woman. It would take someone extraordinary to capture her heart.

  Dave noted the color as it drained from Mick's face. He chuckled. “They were quite the pair,” he said. “Ruby kept Kate grounded, I think. No one could believe it when Kate got sick.”

  “I can’t imagine what Ruby went through.”

  “It was a painful time. I think Logan helped, though,” he offered. “Ruby took a month off to be with Kate at the end. She was back at work two weeks after Kate died. Different—still Ruby, but you could feel her sadness.”

  Mick’s heart ached.

  “Gradually, she started to return to herself,” he said. “She seems to be smiling a lot more lately.” He chuckled at the hopeful expres
sion on Mick’s face. “I think you might have something to do with that.”

  “I don’t know.” Mick looked at her phone.

  “I think so.” He grabbed a Coke and opened the breakroom door. “Kate would’ve like you.”

  Mick looked up.

  Dave smiled. “She would have. Merry Christmas, Mick.”

  Mick waited for her friend to close the door. Would Ruby’s former partner have liked her? What would Kate think about the fact that Mick wanted to be with Ruby? Mick’s heart stopped abruptly and then pounded violently. She did want to be with Ruby. She wanted to eat macaroni and cheese and hotdogs with Logan and clean off Ruby’s car when it snowed. She wanted to kiss Ruby goodnight. She wanted to kiss Ruby in the morning. How did that happen? Is that how it was supposed to happen? Could you share a few meals, some stories, a ride or two to work, a couple of kisses and fall in love? Wasn’t it supposed to take longer? Weren’t you supposed to debate and discern if you were compatible with a person? Mick tried to silence her racing thoughts. The buzz of her phone startled her.

  “Hello?”

  “Merry Christmas,” Ruby said. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to answer.”

  Mick’s eyelids closed tightly. Ruby.

  “Mick? Are you there?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Did I catch you at a bad time?” Ruby wondered.

  No.

  “Mick?”

  “I miss you.”

  Ruby thought she heard Mick wrong. “What did you just say?”

  “Too much?”

  No. “I miss you too.”

  “Really?”

  Ruby almost laughed at the wonderment coloring Mick’s voice. “Yes, really.”

  “Is Logan still in bed?” Mick asked.

  “He is—for the moment.”

  “I wish I could see his face when he gets up.”

  So do I. “I’ll send you some pictures—if you want.”

  “Please,” Mick requested. “Did you get some sleep?”

  “You mean after I put all the presents under the tree?”

  “Yeah.”

  “A little.” A little was a stretch. Ruby couldn’t stop thinking about Mick—wishing Mick had been able to stay, wondering when Mick might stay. Wondering if Mick might ever want to stay. “More than you,” Ruby offered. “How has it been there?”

  “Just got quiet. Two surgeries overnight.”

  “You must be exhausted.”

  “I’m okay,” Mick said. “I hope you have a great Christmas.”

  “I hope you get some rest at some point.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “Mick?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You can come here after work—if you want.”

  I want. “It’ll be after 8:00.”

  “It doesn’t matter when.”

  Mick felt a sense of relief wash over her. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure.”

  “I’ll see you tonight,” Mick promised.

  “Merry Christmas, Mick.”

  It just might be. “I’ll see you later.”

  ***

  Ruby laughed at Logan’s happy dance. He was elated. Santa had delivered nearly everything he requested. Now, he had moved on to find Grandma Lee’s presents and Ruby’s gifts. Ruby reached for a box under the tree and read the tag. “Logan,” she called for his attention. “This one is from Mick.”

  Logan’s eyes grew as big as saucers. He took the box in his hands and shook it lightly.

  Ruby retrieved her phone and started to record. “Who is it from?” she asked him.

  “Mick! You just told me.”

  Leona and Ruby laughed.

  “I suppose I did. Are you going to keep shaking it or are you going to open it?” Ruby asked him.

  Logan set about tearing the paper off the box. He looked at the box curiously.

  “What is it?” Ruby asked.

  Logan shrugged.

  Ruby moved back to his side and tried to keep the camera on Logan while she helped him open the box. She noticed the card that Logan had missed. “Maybe this will explain it,” she said. She opened the card and read the words to him. “It says Merry Christmas, Logan. This is the closest thing I could find to a dragon. I thought you could teach me how to train him since you’re the expert. He’s a banshee. I wish I could be with you today. I hope Santa delivered everything you wanted. Love, Mick.”

  Ruby helped Logan open the cover of the box. Logan’s eyes grew impossibly wider. “Look! Mom, look!”

  “I see it,” Ruby said. “What do you want to say to Mick?” She directed him to look at her.

  “I love you!” Logan said. He waved to the camera. “Thanks, Mick!”

  Ruby’s breath caught momentarily.

  Leona looked on happily. Ruby was in love. Logan was in love. Mick was in love. Some things were undeniable. Love radiated in the room. She wished that Mick could see the expression in Ruby’s eyes. It was the most precious gift anyone could hope to receive. It couldn’t be wrapped neatly in a box and sealed with a bow. Love was messy and unpredictable. It was always worth it. It was the present you unwrapped every moment—sometimes without realizing you were doing it.

  “Grandma,” Logan called for her attention. “Look what Mick got me!”

  “I see. Mick is smarter than I give her credit for,” she joked.

  Ruby laughed. “Or she found someone to give her an excuse to buy what she wanted.”

  “Or that,” Leona agreed.

  ***

  Ruby couldn’t believe that Logan was still awake. She’d made the mistake of letting it slip that Mick planned to stop by after work. Logan refused to go to bed until he got to give Mick her presents. Ruby hoped she’d be able to stay awake. She yawned.

  “Mom! Mick’s here!”

  How is he still awake? Ruby made her way to the door with a stretch. The moment she saw Mick walking up the walkway, her heart lightened. She opened the door and waited for Mick to reach her.

  Mick wasted no time. She placed her lips on Ruby’s.

  Ruby cupped Mick’s face in her hands and sighed.

  “Merry Christmas,” Mick said.

  “It is now,” Ruby replied.

  “Mick!”

  Mick and Ruby both giggled.

  “Don’t think this is over,” Ruby whispered.

  A pleasant shiver traveled over Mick’s skin. I hope not. “Hey, Buddy.”

  Logan grabbed Mick’s hand and pulled her through the door.

  “Someone has been waiting all day for you,” Ruby said.

  Mick was surprised at what happened next. She expected Logan to start showing her his treasure trove. He scampered over to the tree and crawled underneath it. He emerged with a small box in his hands and a bigger box he shuffled forward with his feet. “Santa brought you something too, Mick! He found you!”

  Mick laughed. I’ll bet Santa’s name is Ruby. “He did?” She shed her jacket and hung it on the hook by the door.

  “Yep! Look!” Logan pointed to the box at his feet. “Open it!”

  Mick looked at Ruby.

  Ruby shrugged. “Like Logan said, I guess Santa knew you’d be here tonight.” Or he hoped you would be.

  Mick lifted the box and took a seat on the couch. She shook the package a little.

  “Open it!” Logan said again.

  “I thought I was supposed to shake it first,” Mick said. “Isn’t that what you do?” She’d laughed for a full hour after watching the video Ruby texted her.

  Logan giggled. He was anxious to see what Santa had left for his friend.

  Mick offered Logan a sideways grin and tore the paper off slowly.

  “Mick!” Logan laughed.

  “What? I don’t want to ruin Santa’s wrapping paper. He’s eco-conscious, you know?”

  Ruby smacked Mick lightly.

  Mick chuckled. She was immensely pleased with the reaction. She put the paper beside her and tore off the tape on the box. She nearly gasped a
t the contents. Ruby.

  “What is it?” Logan asked.

  “It’s an adult toy for sleepy doctors,” Mick explained.

  “A flying dragon?” Logan asked.

  Mick laughed. “Not exactly. Close. It’s a portable espresso maker.”

  Logan’s nose crinkled. “Santa brought you that?”

  Yes, she did. “He did,” Mick said. “Santa seems to know me better than I realized.” She reached over and squeezed Ruby’s hand as thanks.

  “Logan, don’t you have something else for Mick?”

  “Oh, yeah!” He ran over and handed Mick the smaller of the two boxes. “That’s from me,” he explained.

  Mick opened her eyes a little wider. “It doesn’t poop, does it?”

  Ruby rolled her eyes. “Poop?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it’s a baby dragon or something,” Mick weakly defended the statement.

  Logan giggled.

  Mick shook the box.

  “Open it!” Logan requested.

  Mick decided to stop teasing him. She tore off the paper and lost her breath. She felt Ruby’s hand fall into hers.

  “Logan found it when he unearthed the train,” Ruby explained.

  Mick’s eyes watered. She pulled Logan onto her lap and hugged him. “Thank you, Logan.”

  “I made the frame,” he said.

  “I love it,” Mick said. Inside a popsicle stick frame that was brightly colored sat a faded picture of Mick and Gary Mulligan sitting beneath a Christmas tree assembling a familiar set of train tracks.

  Logan settled against Mick. Mick felt Ruby’s head fall onto her shoulder. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Ruby’s hand covered hers.

  “Can we watch a movie?” Logan asked.

  “It’s pretty late,” Mick commented.

  “Please?” Logan requested. “Grandma got me Inside Out.”

  Mick laughed. Leona was a sucker for kids’ movies. Logan gave her a great excuse to indulge her secret passion. “That’s up to Mom,” she said.

 

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