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Author: Andrew Mackay

Category: Humorous

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  "I do not like this," Remy said. "Look, it upsets her."

  Jamie agreed, although Jelly didn’t seem to mind her new toy as much as her opponent. She sniffed around as she operated her new ‘claws’, winding them in and out.

  Jamie clapped his hands, attracting Jelly’s attention. She looked back at him, failing to emote. Her face displayed a steely, determined expression. At least that’s what it looked like to Jamie.

  He walked over to her and ran his hand across the top of her head. She head-butted him back and purred.

  "We’re going to win. Aren’t we, girl?"

  Jelly rubbed the side of her face along his palm and purred. She may as well have just said "Hell, yeah," judging by her response.

  Bisoubisou, on the other hand, found her new glove very uncomfortable.

  Remy folded his arms and stared at her, "Bisoubisou?"

  She stopped fussing and looked right at her owner.

  "Do not ruin this for me, you understand?"

  As Remy finished his sentence, the combat zone lit up behind him to a ravenous audience. He and Jamie turned to face the arena.

  The zone measured ten by ten feet. The left half lit up red, the right in blue.

  A ten foot cage surrounded all four walls.

  "Oh, wow…" Jamie gasped. "That’s insane."

  Lindsey smirked, "Okay, guys. Let’s get ready…"

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Final Round

  - Combat -

  Lindsey carried Jelly in her arms to the hole in the caged combat zone. She pushed her through and wiped her palms down on her pants.

  Jelly couldn’t get out. She raced up to the western side of the metal railings in an attempt to approach Jamie.

  The railing sparked, threatening to zap her if she touched it. An electrified fence. She couldn’t get out.

  Jelly whined and ducked her head, deeply unimpressed.

  "Not now, girl," he whispered, "Look. All these people watching. You made it to the finals."

  Jelly spun around and whipped her tail around, purposely showing him her behind.

  "That’s not nice. How would you like it if I did that to you?"

  Jelly lifted her right paw and attempted to claw at the cage, teasing the electricity out.

  "No, don’t do that—"

  Zap.

  "—Meow," Jelly yelped and jumped back. A whiff of singed fur wafted around Jamie’s immediate vicinity.

  An angry growl from Bisoubisou in the blue half forced her to turn around.

  The house lights in the arena drew to a close. Two flood lamps illuminated the combat zone.

  Blue streaks of electricity shot across the metal railings. The ground began to rumble as a high-pitched whine flew across the stage.

  "Good people," announced the female voice, "Welcome to the final of the Star Cat Trials. In the red left corner, representing the United Kingdom… Jelly Anderson."

  A shower of fireworks burst around the western red half of the combat zone, scaring Jelly into a huddle of tense nervousness.

  The crowd cheered and chanted, "Jell-ee! Jell-ee!"

  Remy folded his arms in a huff, trying block out the audience’s love for his opponent.

  Bisoubisou tumbled around, clawing at her metal ‘glove’ in a frantic bid to remove it.

  "And her opponent in the blue corner, hailing from Russia, Bisoubisou."

  The crowd were less than enthusiastic about the Russian Blue currently occupying the blue half. Angered, Remy held up his middle finger to the crowd, which only made them eager for his team to lose.

  "Combat combines the disciplines of Jujitsu and Kung Fu," Gunnar said into the drone camera at the edge of the stage, "Jitsaku is the name of the game in Combat. In just a few minute’s time, we’ll have a winner, won’t we?"

  Aggressive music started up, suggesting that the action wasn’t far away.

  Gunnar raised his hand, "Let’s begin," he walked over to his podium and pushed a lever forward, "Zero gravity, ready."

  The crowd fell silent as the combat railings vibrated, jolting hundreds of thousands of volts through the metal girders.

  Jelly’s paws lifted slowly from the ground as weightlessness set in. Scared, she revolved in the air, trying to hold on to something to stop her from levitating.

  She nearly hit the railing but remembered the electric shock that would occur if she did. Her claws retracted and, instead, pushed forward, tossing her around in mid-air.

  Bisousbisou went wild with fear. She tried to catch her tail as it drifted in front of her eyes.

  "No, girl," Remy screamed, "Get upright and get ready to fight."

  Bisoubisou squealed in terror, wondering just what the heck was going on.

  An audience member turned to his friend, munching on a bucket of popcorn, "Cats doing Jitsaku?"

  "Yeah, really," his friend snorted.

  "That’s a bit stupid, isn’t it?"

  "Nah, they’re dressing it up as Jitsaku," another man sitting near them interrupted, "They’re probably gonna just scrap like they usually do."

  "Welcome to Combat," announced the female voice, "One strike equals one point. There is only one round. There will only be one winner… who will become USARIC’s Star Cat?"

  The music crashed to a halt.

  Jelly and Bisoubisou floated in the air, ready to attack each other. It wasn’t because they had to fight but because they felt the desire to kill.

  They developed that desire from being holed up in an electrified cage. Everyone knew it. Only the Anderson and Gagarin family seemed to care.

  Jamie knew that the setting was designed to provoke the animals. It was the first time in his life that he took exception to something that didn’t directly involve him. Sure, he’d been hurt before - and experienced injury - but this particular event felt incredibly unethical. He didn’t even know what “unethical” meant, but was sure that a decent example of it stood before him.

  "Here we go, guys," Gunnar said. "Let’s Combat!"

  A buzzer sounded off. The central section of the cage shot down, allowing the two cats to go at each other.

  Bisoubisou wasted no time.

  She threw her gloved paw forward, hurtling the rest of her body through the air.

  Bisoubisou took a swipe at Jelly’s face and narrowly missed. She tumbled back-first against the electrified railing and felt a wave of electricity shudder down her spine.

  "Meeooooww," Jelly floated back. Her hind legs hit the floor, providing her with an opportunity to push herself toward her rival.

  Jelly threw her claws forward and latched onto the spinning Bisoubisou. The two tussled in mid-air, gnawing and gnashing away at each other.

  Jelly sank her fangs into Bisoubisou’s neck and tore out a clump of fur. A final smack to the head put the Russian Blue out of action for a few moments.

  Zaapp-pp.

  Bisousbisou’s head caught in the railing, jolted by a split-second’s worth of electricity, "Raooowwaar!"

  Jelly realized what she had done. She ducked her head and turned herself upside down as Bisoubisou kicked away from the cage.

  The lightning bolt rumbled through Bisoubisou’s hind legs causing her fur to stand on end as she rocketed toward Jelly.

  "No, no!" Jamie threw his hands into the air and looked at Gunnar, "You’re hurting them. Please, stop it."

  "They’re not hurt, kid," Gunnar giggled. "It’s just a bit of a nudge to get them to engage. If they can’t handle the action on Earth, how are they going to cope in space if they meet aliens?"

  "Aliens?" Jamie asked himself.

  Remy punched the air, furious on Bisoubisou’s behalf. "Go on, smash her. Kick that orange lump of fur."

  Bisoubisou swiped her claw and caught Jelly on the shoulder. The metal hanging over her claws dug into Jelly’s fur, causing her to screech out loud.

  The exhilaration coming from the audience was palpable. Ordinarily they’d be cheering but the violent action taking place caused them to choke. The
combat was far more furious - and dangerous - than expected.

  "My God," an audience member stood up and screamed, "This is horrible. Make them stop."

  "No, no," Jamie whispered under his breath, looking at Jelly, "Don’t stop. Defend yourself, girl."

  Swish-swipe.

  "Twenty seconds remaining," announced the female voice.

  Jelly gave it her best shot. She lifted her hind legs and kicked Bisoubisou in the stomach, pushing her back. "Grrrrr."

  Jelly looked at her hind paws and deliberately pressed them against the railings, knowing she’d receive a nasty nip of a shock.

  A jolt of electricity blasted through her body.

  "Whoa, that’s gotta hurt!" Gunnar laughed into the microphone. He looked at the screen, "Jelly’s on eight points. Bisoubisou is on seven."

  Jelly’s hind paws hit the railing. She screamed in pain and saw the bolt of electric blue run up her legs. She pushed forward and revolved around in the air, ready to knock ten shades of hell out of her opponent.

  Unfortunately for her, Bisoubisou was ready. Like Jelly, she utilized the anger-inducing electric shock with her glove. She pushed back, purposely zapping herself.

  Bisoubisou and Jelly stormed head-to-head through the air, ready to obliterate each other.

  "This is it," Gunnar yelled into the microphone, "Ten seconds left."

  Jelly meowed at the top of her lungs, raising her infinity claws above her head and ready to smack the hell out of her rival.

  Bisoubisou did the same, revealing her sharp, white fangs.

  "Six… five… four…" announced the female voice.

  Everything seemed to crash into slow motion for Jamie and Remy. They briefly caught each other’s eyes as they turned to their pets.

  Jelly threw the first punch and grabbed Bisoubisou’s face in her claws. She yanked her opponent around as their bodies tumbled over and over together.

  Bisoubisou’s face tore open as one of Jelly’s infinity claws pulled away. It proved to be just the pain that Bisoubisou needed to develop an incandescent rage.

  She reached up and socked Jelly in her stomach, sending her tumbling against the metal railing.

  "Woooooooh!" the audience finally exhaled.

  Electric sparks blistered out from behind Jelly as her shoulder blades hit the railings. "Mwaahhh."

  "… two… one… and, game over."

  Bzzz. The combat cage collapsed out and folded over itself, sinking into the floor.

  Bisousbiou and Jelly were no longer the subject of zero gravity. They shot down to the floor and landed on their paws.

  The mega-screen played some of the highlights of both rounds as the totals calculated.

  Gunnar and the crowd cheered the two cats as their respective handlers lifted them out of the cage.

  Lindsey ran her hand over Jelly’s head and examined her face, "Hey, Jelly. How are you?"

  She lashed out at the woman and tried to claw her face. Clumps of her fur had burned away. She was injured and extremely upset.

  Remy watched Bisoubisou in his handler’s arms, "Give me her."

  "No," the handler held the cat in the air for the audience to see, "We need to do this."

  "Give me my cat back," Remy stomped his foot on the ground, "You hurt her."

  "Okay, everybody," Gunnar stepped forward and pressed his index finger to his lips, "The results are in. The points have been tallied up. It seems we have a winner."

  The crowd fell silent, as did Jamie and Remy. Everyone turned to the mega screen for the payoff.

  "And here are the results…" announced the female voice. "In second place…"

  Jamie turned to his mother and bit his lip. She looked at the big screen.

  "… Jelly Anderson, from the United Kingdom. With a total of fifty-two points."

  "Huh?" Jamie asked himself, confused. "So if Jelly came in second, then that means—"

  "—Yes," Remy jumped in the air with extreme excitement, "Yes. We won."

  "What?" Jamie stomped his foot to the floor. "That’s not right, Jelly won that!"

  Gunnar took Bisoubisou from the handler and held her up, "Attention, people. The winner of USARIC’s Star Cat Project… from the Russian Federation, I give you… Bisoubisou Gagarin!"

  The crowd cheered politely but were undoubtedly disappointed.

  A thousand lights shone on Bisoubisou and Remy as the celebrations took place.

  Deflated and exhausted, Jamie slumped to his knees and accepted the noise of failure in his head. After a few seconds, the adulation for his opponent dampened in his ears and left a permanent scar on his brain.

  The crowd escaped from the gantry and flooded the stage, all vying to be the first to pet and congratulate the winner.

  Emily jumped onto the stage and made a beeline for Jamie, "Oh, poppet. Come here."

  She scooped him up in her arms and hugged him. He went limp and buried his crying face on her shoulder, "It’s not fair, they tried to hurt them."

  "I know, poppet," she whispered, "If I had known, I would never have let her take part."

  "I want Jelly," he sobbed, looking up at Jelly in Lindsey’s arms.

  "Not yet, Jamie," Lindsey said. "We need to make sure she’s okay and we’ll get her back to you."

  Jamie looked at the crowds surrounding the winner. Remy looked very happy with himself as Dreenagh pushed her wrist into his face and asked him some questions.

  His parents looked even happier, proud of their son and his cat.

  Of course, Bisoubisou was the center of attention.

  A tear rolled down Jamie’s cheek. A rousing experience of failure, and one he’d likely never forget till the day he died.

  "I want to go home," Jamie cried into his mother’s comforting arms, "I don’t like it here—"

  "Meoowwwwwww."

  Jamie was interrupted by Bisoubisou lashing out at the crowd from out of nowhere.

  Everyone turned to the cat and gasped.

  Bisoubisou threw her paws out and chewed at the infinity claw on her right paw, whining and growling.

  "Oh, god," her handler looked at her paw and turned to Gunnar. "She’s bleeding. We need to get her to medical, right now."

  Confused, the crowd stepped back. The cameras pointed at Bisoubisou, showing her turmoil and sheer agony on the mega-screen.

  "Everybody get back. Now," Gunnar waved the crowd away. The place fell silent.

  Bisoubisou wailed in horror as her fangs dug into the metal, trying to wrench the godforsaken infinity claws away from her paws.

  Her handler darted off toward the back of the stage, leaving a worried crowd wondering what had happened. Spots of blood lined the stage floor as she carried the injured cat away.

  Jamie saw the frantic handler kicked through the stage door, screaming for help…

  ***

  The handler barged through another door leading to a backstage medical room.

  "Where’s Wool? We need her, fast."

  Wool ar-Ban, an Iranian lady dressed in a lab coat and glasses, jumped out from behind her desk and joined the handler.

  "I’m here, what’s wrong?"

  She took a look at the ailing gray cat in the handler’s arms.

  "Oh, no. Quick, over here. Lay her on the bed," Wool said, pressing her finger into her ear, "I need surgery down here, stat. Medicians on standby please attend."

  The handler lay her down on her side and burst into tears, "She’s going to be okay, isn’t she?"

  "Please, move out of the way. We need some space," Wool held up Bisoubisou’s right arm and nearly lost her temper. "Don’t tell me. That stupid combat stuff?"

  The handler folded her arms and hugged herself in floods of tears. "Yes."

  "Honestly, I told them not to infuriate the cats. But would they listen? No."

  She reached into her inner pocket and pulled out a small syringe.

  Two medicians ran through the door and sprung into actions. One of them pushed an ECG monitor on a trolley over to t
he bed. She unpacked two pads and fired up the machine.

  "Her heart’s climbing out of her throat," the other medician said, "Checking pulse."

  "One-fifty over one," said the first medician as Wool injected the cat with her syringe, "One fifty-two, one fifty-three…"

  "Three emm-gee," Wool tried to keep her composure as she watched Bisoubisou’s monitor. Her heart was near exploding. She turned to the battered infinity claw and prised it away with her fingers as carefully as she could. It unfastened in Wool’s hand.

  "Ugh, got it."

  She passed the infinity claw to Bisoubisou’s handler. "Please, Wool. Tell me she’s going to be okay?"

  "Stop talking, you stupid woman," Wool fanned the cat’s claws apart. "She’s lost a lot of blood. Please, let us work."

  Bisoubisou’s head hit the side of the bed’s surface. A rope of saliva collected out and bled along her cheek.

  "God, no," Wool said. "She’s going into septic shock."

  The heart rate sped up on the screen.

  "Laceration at oh-one-five," Wool prodded Bisoubisou’s stomach and felt along her chest, keeping an eye on the screen. The cat’s tongue slipped out from her mouth and hung down her face.

  "God, no, no," the first medician said, "She’s gone into shock."

  "Another at oh-two-six, and five-oh-three."

  "Morphine, Doctor?" asked one of the medicians as Wool rubbed her face in a frantic attempt to save the cat’s life.

  "No," Wool said, "She’s had enough—"

  Bisoubisou croaked and let out a fountain of vomit. Her right paw had swelled up beyond recognition. Her rightmost claw lilted and threatened to come free.

  Her breathing gradually slowed down to nothing.

  A clump of fur fell off her chest as she exhaled for the final time.

  "It’s the claws," Wool thumped the table and held her fist to her mouth, trying not to emote, "Nu-huh, no."

  Bisoubisou flatlined.

  Wool closed her eyes and took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to cry. She wanted to kill someone for what had happened to the beautiful Russian Blue cat laying before her.

 

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