Author: Aly Martinez
Category: Contemporary
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/aly-martinez/page,16,605557-the_difference_between_somebody_and_someone_the_difference_trilogy_book_1.html
Oxygen exploded in my lungs, a rush of hope viciously colliding with the adrenaline in my veins. With long strides, I sidled up beside him, both of our gazes aimed at the screen.
And then time stopped.
My heart too.
My lungs seized.
And I choked on the bitter acid of my reality.
“She’s at the hospital,” he whispered.
Every muscle in my body flexed painfully, and then all at once, I exploded out the door.
The hospital. The fucking hospital. What the fuck was I supposed to do with that? It was still pouring. Had she been in a wreck? Was she hurt? Was she…alive?
I couldn’t lose her.
I wouldn’t survive this again.
One tragedy after another. For once in my Goddamn life, something had to give.
After climbing into my truck, I slammed the door, the pain in my chest so familiar it felt as though I’d time-traveled into the past. How many times would I be forced to go through this hell before the universe finally decided it had taken enough of my flesh? Fuck, what if it took her? What if that was the end game? Over and over, I would be forced for all of eternity to lose the woman I loved.
I was vaguely aware of Aaron climbing into the seat beside me, but I was a goner, buried six feet deep in the what-ifs.
The pressure in my head threatened to split me in half as I blew every single red light on the way there.
She had to be okay.
There was no other option.
As I weaved through traffic, squinting to see through the rain, Aaron was on the phone with the hospital.
What a fucking shit skill set to have, but I knew all too well how searching for a missing person worked. They asked her name. Her description. Then put him on hold for what felt like a decade.
And then, just fucking like the first time I’d lived through hell, they had no answers. Remi wasn’t in their system, and no Jane Does had been brought in, either.
But she was there. Or at least her phone was. And within fifteen minutes, that was exactly where I was too.
I had no idea what I would find as I threw my truck into park at the curb in front of the emergency room. Truthfully, I didn’t even know if I’d find her at all.
But no matter how many times my world was rocked, my heart was shattered, or the cruel universe tried to ruin me, for Remi, I would spend the rest of my life desperate and determined to keep her, no matter the cost.
Remi
“I can’t believe I let this happen,” Tim said with tears in his eyes.
I gave his shoulder a squeeze. “This isn’t your fault. That nurse never should have left her alone.”
He let out a humorless laugh. “Are you kidding? Knowing Katherine, she probably told her to go. She’s so damn independent, but no matter how many times I try to remind her that she’s not Superwoman, I can’t slow her down.” He closed his eyes, helplessness etched on his round face. “That woman is my entire life, but until the settlement check comes in, I have to keep working and sometimes that requires me to be on the road.” His lids fluttered open, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “I don’t have a choice but to rely on nurses, and this is the shit that happens.”
“Hey,” I soothed, dragging him into a hug. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re an amazing husband. Working to keep the bills paid doesn’t change that. Look, she’s okay. It’s just a broken arm.”
“This time,” he scoffed, releasing me before blowing out a hard breath. “I don’t know how to thank you for being with her today. I have no idea what I would have done without you.”
I smiled. “No thanks necessary. She’s my friend.” I poked a finger in his chest. “And you, just so you know, aren’t Superman, either. I’m happy to help, both of you, in any way I can. If you go on the road again, you call me.”
“Remi,” he whispered. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You can. And you will. We’re in this together, Tim. I may not have known you guys before the crash, but we’re family now. Family leans on family. End of story.”
Tears once again filled his eyes. “Thank you. You have no idea how much—”
That was all he got out before a commotion came from the other side of the doors to the waiting area. The sound alone was startling, but my back shot straight when I recognized the two syllables of my own name.
“What the hell?” I mumbled.
Oh, but I knew that voice, raw and jagged as it might have been. My throat got thick, and with hurried steps, I left Tim in the hallway and pushed through the doors to the waiting area.
Bowen was at the reception desk, his white T-shirt soaked and clinging to his muscular back, his hands balled into fists at his sides. Aaron was beside him, his jaw twitching at the hinges.
“Hey!” I called, jogging over. “What’s going on?”
“Fuck,” Aaron rumbled, pulling me into a hard hug. “Jesus, Remi. What the hell? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” I looked at Bowen, but he just stood there, staring at me like he’d seen a ghost. His face was the perfect picture of desolation.
“Where have you been?” Aaron snapped as he released me, giving my shoulders a firm shake.
I kept my gaze locked with Bowen’s, my mind swirling as I tried to figure out why there was a dark void in his honey-brown eyes, and answered my best friend. “Katherine fell out of her wheelchair. Tim was working a few hours away, so he called me to go over there. I followed the ambulance here and waited for him to arrive. I was just about to leave. What…are you two doing here?”
“Looking for you. You weren’t answering your phone, so this guy showed up at the house, losing his mind. And then I lost my shit when I tracked your phone only to find out you were at the hospital.” Aaron dragged me in for another hug, but I was limp in his arms.
All of my attention was focused on the man I barely recognized who still hadn’t moved an inch, and as far as I could tell he hadn’t so much as blinked, either.
I shook my head, stepping out of Aaron’s embrace. “I left my phone in the car.” Reaching out, I hooked my fingers with Bowen’s. The tremble in his hand was as alarming as it was heartbreaking.
Suffocating devastation rolled off him. I could barely breathe as I moved in closer. On the outside, he was cold—emotionless, even—but as I rested my hand over his heart, it slammed violently against my palm.
“Are you okay?”
As if he needed to truly consider the question, he slanted his head, his first voluntary movement since he’d seen me. “I don’t know,” he rasped, but even that was strangled.
He gave my fingers a sudden tug, pulling me off-balance and crashing me into his chest, his wet shirt soaking the front of my pale-pink dress. A rumble filled with agony escaped his throat as his arms folded around me so tightly that it was almost painful. I didn’t complain though as he buried his face in the curve of my neck, his shoulders hunched, cocooning me as if he were trying to absorb me.
“Jesus, Remi,” he choked out. Yes. Choked. My strong, stoic man crumbled right in front of me.
Why? I wasn’t sure yet, but it was a punch to the gut all the same.
After wiggling my arms from between us, I wrapped them around him, the muscles on his back taut and straining. “It’s okay. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” I glanced around the waiting room.
Tim and Aaron had formed a huddle off to the side, but all eyes were aimed at us. Bowen didn’t strike me as a particularly proud man, but whatever was going on inside him didn’t need to be witnessed by a room full of strangers.
“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” I looked at Aaron. “Did you drive here?”
He shook his head. “I rode with him.”
“Good. Then take my car back to the house. I’m going home with Bowen.”
Aaron swallowed hard and then nodded, the turmoil of the day showing in the lines on his forehead.
“Hey, I’m really sorry,” I told him. “I should have call
ed. I wasn’t thinking.”
He offered me a tight smile. “Just take care of him. I’m good.”
I gave Bowen a squeeze. “Let’s go home, baby.”
He groaned again, reluctantly releasing me, and I paused long enough to dig my keys from my pocket and toss them to Aaron. He insisted on following us out to make sure I got my phone from my car before we left.
Bowen was still quiet and robotic, refusing to release my hand, so I offered to drive his truck. The scowl and side-eye he gave me were my only real hope that he was going to be okay.
As we drove back to his place, I felt like a total asshole. My guilt magnified when I saw the dozens of missed calls and texts from him. When I’d gotten to Katherine’s house and found her on the floor, her arm clutched to her chest, calling to tell Bowen I was going to be late was the last thing on my mind. Naïve as it was, I’d never considered he would be so worried. I also hadn’t realized it was as late as it was, either.
In hindsight, it was dumb. Epically so. But I was trying to do the right thing. Katherine was hurt and scared. I hadn’t wanted to leave her alone.
However, after I’d seen the terror carved into Bowen’s handsome face, knowing I’d put it there shattered me in so many ways. Though, if I were being honest, it confused the hell out of me too. Aaron had been visually shaken, but Bowen’s reaction was a different story altogether. He just shut down, leaving behind a husk of the man I knew.
I’d seen him frustrated and annoyed. Hell, I’d even seen him angry when I’d first started pursuing him. But I’d never seen him like this.
The way he shook.
The desperation with which he clung to me.
The hollowness in his eyes alone was a physical blow.
I could only assume it had something to do with his past. Most definitely related to losing his fiancée. But I still didn’t know the specifics of that to figure out what had triggered him or why he’d reacted so strongly to me being a few hours late. A few hours in the middle of the afternoon no less. Maybe if it had been three a.m. and I’d disappeared on the way home, but it was barely seven. I’d been tied up at work later than that before.
None of that excused me from fault though.
The rain was still coming down in sheets, so when we pulled into his driveway, he hit the remote for his garage door on the visor and we went straight in. He turned the truck off, clicked the button to close the garage behind us, and unbuckled his seat belt, but that was the only move he made to get out.
The silence was killing me. Every instinct I had told me to fill it with profuse apologies, but they weren’t what Bowen needed. Still, I had no idea what he did need, and I had a sneaking suspicion he didn’t even know himself.
All I could do was sit beside him, my hand in his, waiting for him to figure it out.
He blankly stared at the windshield, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths for so long that the light in his garage clicked off, plunging us into darkness.
Only then did he speak.
“I thought I lost you,” he confessed so softly that it was barely audible.
In the dark, I could only make out his silhouette and wished like hell I could get a better read on him. Bringing our joined hands to my lips, I inched as close as the damn center console would allow. “God. I am so sorry. You’re not going to lose me. I swear.”
“I did though,” he said, his voice filled with gravel.
“No, you didn’t.” Fuck the console. I climbed over it, wedging myself in the small space in front of him to straddle his lap. “I’m right here, Bowen.” I took his hand and rested it over my heart. “Do you feel that? I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. This is where I belong.”
“It could all go away,” he said in the dark, the tone in his voice a dangerous combination of fear and anguish but mostly dread.
Helplessly, I sat there, not knowing what to say to comfort him, to make him believe that, although what he was feeling was real, the panic and the tragedy he was living—or, rather, reliving—wasn’t. And before I could come up with something, he continued, still without moving an inch or reacting to me the way he always did.
“I don’t know if I’ll survive all this again. I don’t know if I can make it out on the other side if you ever—”
“Shhh,” I interrupted before he could spiral even farther down into the abyss. “Don’t. Don’t do that.” I cupped his cheeks, noticing that my hands were now shaking too. “Can you do something for me? Right now?”
Seeming to almost snap out of the anxiety attack that was gripping him like a vise, just to possibly help me, he immediately answered, “Anything, babe.”
His breathing hadn’t quite regulated, still jilted and uneven. So that was where I’d start. Replacing my hand, I paired my cheek with his so that we were at one another’s ear.
My chest against his, I slipped my arms around his back and quietly said, “Breathe with me.”
His pulse raced against me.
Nervous sweat coated his skin.
His strong body trembled in my embrace.
“Please. Let’s do it together,” I whispered against his jaw. “Deep breath in.” I inhaled, and he tried to do the same. Although his was shaky and not nearly as deep. But he was doing it.
Only thirty minutes ago, the man in my arms had been ready to burn the world down because he hadn’t been able to find me. I could certainly walk through the flames with him to the other side.
“Good. Now let it go. Breathe out.”
Had I known that the feeling of his exhale was going to caress my ear and my neck the way it did, I might have thought better of being so close. Nevertheless, I’d have to put a pin in the erotic sensations Bowen gave me—at least until he was feeling better.
“Again, in.”
We inhaled. Leather and wet man filled my nose, which probably didn’t sound very intoxicating, but the buzz I caught wasn’t imaginary.
“And out.”
After a few minutes, I quit talking altogether, my mouth having dried from the exercise and the attraction that was building inside me. Soon, we fell into perfect sync.
Our shoulders rose and fell in time. Like two ships swaying on a gentle tide, peace began to wash over the man in my arms. I could feel it. Sense it. The energy in the cab of his truck had changed from palpable, crippling tension to one of calmness and unity.
When his hands finally tangled with the hair at my nape, I praised, “There you are.” With my chin perched on his shoulder, it was easy for him to steer my face to his. “Did my someone come back to me?”
I thought I’d lost him again when he briefly startled at my words.
“What? Didn’t think I could find you?” I asked, trying to make light of the milk cartons he surely would have had my face on by morning. It wasn’t the time for jokes though.
“I didn’t know you were looking,” he rasped.
“Always.” As I adjusted myself to get a better glimpse of his face in the almost pitch-black, I felt something very serious between us.
“You are mine, Remi,” he stated as if the whole damn world were listening. “I need you right the fuck now.”
Like a period to the intense and heavy moment we’d just shared, the mood shifted. I was all too ready. Too eager to give him whatever he wanted. Whenever he wanted it. Even if that meant drenched in the front seat of his truck when there was a perfectly good king-sized bed only a few dozen feet away.
Turned on by his declaration and hunger for me, I rolled my hips.
Sucking air through his teeth, he palmed my ass and pulled me so close I couldn’t tell who the throbbing at our centers was coming from, but it was most likely a combination of both of us.
“Now’s good,” I agreed, breathless.
In a swift move, he leaned me back as far as I could go against the steering wheel, but when it wasn’t far enough for him, his hand left my breast and adjusted the power seat, giving us all the room we’d need.
“Fron
t or back, Remi?” he asked.
Confused, I answered, “I-I’ve never done that, but if you’re—”
A wicked chuckle rumbled through the cab. “I mean, how does your dress open? Buttons in the front or zipper in the back?”
“Oh. The zipper.”
“Okay. But I like where your head is at, Ms. Grey. Not tonight though. I need something more rough right now, and I’ll want to take my time with that.”
I swallowed. It was a lot of sexual information all at once, and considering how my mind was already in a torrent of wanton desire, I was going to let that one go and think about it later.
I didn’t want to miss a thing.
Because at that point, he’d already spun me around on his lap, unzipped my dress, pulled it over my head, and tossed it to the passenger seat.
I wasn’t sure how he’d managed, but when he leaned forward to press kisses across my shoulder blades, he was shirtless too—and making short work of ditching his pants underneath me.
“I’ll buy you new panties. Now, hold on to the wheel for me.”
Trying to remember how, just minutes ago, I knew how to breathe well enough to instruct it, I recalled the process, but it was much more like panting than I’d care to admit.
I gripped the wheel as he’d told me while he ripped first the right, then the left side of my thong. Wasting no time, two long fingers raced over my crack and headed straight to my wet center.
“Fuck,” he growled. “Already so wet.”
I wasn’t sure if he would see my face, but I looked over my shoulder and said, “Don’t you know by now that I want you just as bad as you want me, Bowen? Maybe more.”
“Goddammit,” he swore. “Fucking hold on.”
He entered me with such force that I cried out, half pain, all pleasure. He held himself deep inside me and pulled me even closer by the hips, thrusting as if there were any more ground to gain.
“Are you ready?” he asked. If I hadn’t known in my heart that he’d never hurt me, he would have sounded ominous and almost frightening. But I’d never been turned on as much as I was in that moment.