Author: Max Hudson
Category: LGBT
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/max-hudson/page,4,499970-a_second_chance_at_love.html
“It’s a vanity project, really. Something that I’ve been working on for the past eighteen months. I am hoping to get it off the ground. I am meeting with investors and finalizing the script as we speak,” I said, trying to sound as vague as possible.
Daniel nodded stupidly and smiled.
“Are you sure you’re going to have time to work on my videos?”
“Oh don’t worry,” I assured him. “I know how to prioritize. Besides, these guys aren’t just my business partners. They are my friends, and I would never let them down.”
The last part was for Faedra’s benefit. It was starting to feel like she needed a reminder that she was still MY best friend, not just Roman’s unspecified sexual partner.
“That’s all I needed to hear. Where do I sign?”
Daniel pulled a fountain pen out of his pocket and Kyle nearly jumped into his lap and licked his face. I was thoroughly disgusted, but I bit my tongue and tried to smile while he ensured that I was contractually obligated to talk to this dried up sweatband for the next few months. It was going to be hell; profitable hell, but hell nonetheless.
The waiter brought my glass of wine just in time and I downed it quickly, intending to get the hell out of Dodge just as soon as I could without causing a scene.
“You look great, by the way,” Dan said, without looking at me.
“Thanks. It’s a nice suit.” I watched Kyle flip through the pages to make sure everything was in order and then smile with glee.
“Yeah, the suit looks good on you, but you also look… well, you look like life’s been treating you well.”
“You’re not doing too bad yourself.”
“I can’t complain.”
Of course not, then you would ruin our new and improved, enlightened meathead image. But I’m not fooled. I know you are a selfish, self-indulgent, self-centered sack of shit in cargo shorts and a polo shirt.
“That’s good to hear,” I looked down at my watch which was mostly ornamental and more than an hour off and then back up at him. “I hate to dash, but I really have somewhere else to be tonight. It was so nice catching up with you.” I stood up and grabbed my coat.
“You too, maybe we could grab a bite to eat another time and catch up properly?”
He looked sincere, but I’d been fooled by his sincerity before. I opened my mouth to not so politely let him know that I had NO time for that when Faedra oh so tactfully cleared her throat. I cast a quick glance in her direction and caught a glimpse of the trio of faces begging me not to blow this.
“Sure, just shoot me an email,” I said reluctantly. His face lit up in response and once again I found myself perplexed by his responses. Did he really want to have a meal with me? Maybe. Clearly, his memory of our past had a very different effect on him than it did on me. Maybe in his mind, all of the shoves, squirts of water in the face, random attacks in the hall, and nasty jokes were part of a glorious and carefree past that was par for the course when dumb jocks reminisced about their past. For me, they were emotional landmines and lessons I’d learned the hard way.
“I’ll be sure to do that,” he said, beaming from ear to ear. Somehow, I was sure that he would, and try as I might, I wasn’t as annoyed by that fact as I knew I should’ve been. I wouldn’t agree. I had no intention of actually meeting up with him, but the idea of Dan begging me for a dinner date was delicious.
“I look forward to it,” I said, cocking an eyebrow and running the tip of my tongue across my teeth. “I really have to get going.”
I made sure that I left with just as much drama as I’d arrived. I even walked down the street and around the corner before catching a cab, because nothing is worse than being spotted waiting outside waiting for a car when you just made a big fuss about how you needed to leave right away. My performance was flawless, and I fell into bed feeling like, for the first time, I had the upper hand when it came to Daniel Mann.
Chapter Six
“You’re going,” Faedra said, slamming my lunch down on the desk.
“I have work to do,” I complained.
“Yes, and half of the reason why we have so much work to do is that idiot has told everybody in the industry that we are brilliant,” she said.
It was true. After nearly a month of working with Dan’s brand, we’d come up with some pretty catchy content for his website and were in the middle of filming a workout video series that would be the centerpiece of his new product line. I’d managed to avoid having any personal contact with Dan, but I couldn’t avoid him altogether. So far, I’d watched him be a kind, considerate, genuine boss and motivational speaker. I’d watched him laugh at his own mistakes, and comfort others who were having a hard time seeing the best in themselves. I’d watched him admit fault, show gratitude to people who worked hard to make him a success, and walk around barefoot for some reason I tried very hard not to care about.
I’d observed it all from the periphery, never allowing us to be alone together long enough to get personal and steering well away from any topic that would lead us down memory lane. In return, he flooded my inbox with a never-ending exchange of emails inviting me out. After I turned him down the third time, he changed tack and started asking me random questions about work, but always ending it with an invitation to have “a coffee or something” to discuss it.
“Listen, I agreed to work with him and give it my all. I did that. But that’s all, Fae. I didn’t agree to be his best friend or socialize on the weekends. I didn’t stop hating him because he treats his secretary well,” I shot back.
“Right, about that—”
“No!”
“No, what?”
“No, we aren’t going to have a heart to heart about ancient history.”
I picked up my laptop and stuffed it in my bag. I was ready to be done with this conversation. I was ready to be done with the whole damned subject.
“Hey, I want to talk to you,” she grabbed my arm.
“I don’t want to talk, Fae,” I could feel my temperature rising. Nobody knew how to light my fuse like Faedra and I didn’t want to make a scene.
“Okay then just listen,” she insisted.
I felt the moment I lost my cool like a boil popping in my chest. All of the nastiness that I’d been holding in for weeks came spilling out, hot and thick and thoroughly disgusting.
“Listen, I know that ever since you’ve been letting Roman cum in you, you feel like you’ve been enlightened and learned a few things about life. But let me assure you that some things are above your pay grade.”
I instantly regretted my words but not my tone. I was pissed and I wanted to hurt her, but I wasn’t prepared for how deep I’d obviously struck. She didn’t look angry, just shocked and then deeply disappointed.
“It might shock you, but I might understand things better than even you do.”
“Understand what?” I could hear my common sense screaming in the back of my head, begging me to stop talking and walk away before I ruined a good friendship. But I wasn’t listening. I was an eruption of pus and mucus and I wasn’t going to stop until I was completely drained. “I understand that whenever it comes to this company you take Roman’s side and whenever it comes to Dan the Man, you take his side as well. Between me, Dan and Roman, I seem to be the only one who never fucked you. Is that what it takes to get you to see it my way? I know blood is thicker than water but since when is cum thicker than friendship?”
She clenched her jaw and glared at me as if I’d physically slapped her in the face. Her hands were balled into tight fists at her side and I was almost hoping that she would hit me. But she didn’t.
“How dare you?”
“How dare me? How dare you! You were supposed to be my friend, Fae. Yet, every time I turn around, you’re trying to make me relive the worst moment of my entire life. Do you think it's easy working with the guy who took your virginity and won’t even admit that he knows you? Do you think there aren’t a thousand things I’d rather be doing other than spen
ding my time thinking of ways to make the most selfish man on earth look good? But I’m doing it, and I’m doing a fucking great job at it. So why don’t you stop busting my ass about getting to know Daniel Mann? I know him very well, biblically, in fact. And I don’t want to have anything to do with him.”
“What if it’s not about him?” she challenged.
“Oh fuck off,” I said, slinging the bag onto my back.
“I’m serious, Mish. I know now that you think that I’m just some stupid whore,” she wiped an errant tear from her face and took a deep breath. “But I have watched you bury all of the best parts of yourself for years. You’re so closed off from people, it makes me sad. At first, I thought you were just getting over it, you know. I figured you’d get past it. But you never did. You got hard as the years went by. Did you know that Kyle’s grandmother is sick? That is why he’s so desperate to take on all of these extra projects. He’s been offered a great job with a huge advertising agency, a steady salary, and benefits, but he’s sticking it out with us because he believes in this company.”
I shook my head. I’d heard that his grandmother was a little under the weather, but she was old. Old people got sick, right?
“Of course not, because you don’t care. You see a party boy who isn’t serious about anything and you just write him off. All you see are people’s flaws, and you let them overshadow all of the other parts of them. Yeah, Kyle is a pretty carefree guy, but he’s also incredibly loyal and hard working. But you never pay attention to that. You never used to be like that. You used to be compassionate.”
“I’m still compassionate.”
“No, you’re judgmental and unforgiving. You don’t let anybody forget all the ways they failed you. You never lose sight of all their shortcomings. It’s like you always want to be reminded that people aren’t perfect so you have an excuse to stop caring just as soon as things get tough.”
“That’s not true. We’ve been friends for almost twenty years.”
“And you just called me a cum dumpster,” her face crumpled a little as she said it. I knew she’d been called worse things in her life, but I’d never criticized her for her sexual habits. Never. Maybe I had changed, but so had she.
“I never said that.”
“You might as well have.”
“Fae, that's...!” What? What could I say?
“You know it doesn’t even matter because I know who I am. I know who my friends are, and I don’t expect them to be perfect.”
“I don’t expect you to be perfect. You’ve never been perfect, and that’s never been an issue.”
“Right, thanks a lot for not holding my humanity against me.”
There was no way to win this argument. If she was determined to misunderstand me then there was no point in trying to explain.
“This is the dumbest fight we’ve ever had. What does any of this have to do with you asking me to waste time with Daniel Mann?”
“Because it’s so obvious that he’s the source of your problem,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
“I hate him.”
“You can say what you want but the opposite of love isn't hatred,” her sympathetic look only made me angrier, but I bit my tongue and let her continue. “You never really got over him. He did a shitty thing to you and you never got any closure. And now you are making everybody pay the price.”
“There’s no closure to get, it’s not like we were in love or anything. It was one night, and one dumb decision. When I stub my toe, I don’t expect the pavement to give me an apology. I just learn from my mistakes, move on, and walk more carefully.”
“Newsflash,” she plucked my forehead. “The human heart is a lot more complicated than that. Maybe you can’t just move on and be more careful. Besides, how do you know you two weren’t in love? Did you ever ask him? Did you ever ask him how he felt about that night? Or even about you? Did you ever even give him a chance to apologize or explain?”
I shook my head.
“Maybe that night was as traumatic for him as it was for you. He got drunk and woke up naked next to you. That had to fuck with his head just a little. I’m not saying that’s a good excuse, but you never gave him a chance to say anything, and you’re still not. You just wrote him off, like you do everybody else. I’m a slut, Kyle’s a party boy, Roman’s a soulless machine, and we’re all expendable, right?”
“I never called you a slut, but you are always on somebody else’s side Fae. You’re supposed to be my best friend.”
“I am, but you stopped being my best friend a long time ago, Mischa. And I’d like to get my friend back. So, go to dinner with Dan. Get your closure, or whatever, and stop acting like you’re the only person in the world who’s ever had buyer’s remorse when it comes to a guy.”
It was her turn to grab her bag and storm out of the room. I was still angry enough not to run after her and apologize. I knew I’d hurt her but I was still fuming. And I kept fuming, all the way home, and while I ate. I couldn’t even quiet my mind enough to focus on my work, and ended up spending twenty minutes staring at a blank screen before I finally gave up.
Just as I was about to close my laptop, an email notification flashed across the screen. It was from Daniel...again. I groaned audibly. I knew what he wanted and I didn’t want to give it to him. But, Faedra’s words kept spinning around in my head. What if there was more to the story than what I knew? Would anything really change if he apologized for that night? Would it prove that he wasn’t everything I thought he was? Would I change? Would I even be able to forgive him?
I opened the email on reflex and read it quickly.
I just got the numbers back on the last three videos we put on the website. Check them out for yourself (see attached). I can’t take all of the credit, the production value of the content is much higher than anything else I’ve done. It’s been great working with you. I hope that we get a chance to catch up, soon. My treat. Just name the time and the place.
Daniel
I sent him the name of a local bar and grill along with a date and time and then hit send before I had a chance to rethink it. Faedra and her damned mouth had me rethinking everything that I thought I knew about Dan, and asking questions I never allowed myself to explore. There were too many questions left lingering between us. There were too many things that I wanted to ask. Knowing that this might be my very last chance to have a candid conversation with the man who broke my heart, I decided to bite the damned bullet and meet him for coffee or whatever.
Chapter Seven
Dan was already sitting at the table when I arrived. I stood outside the restaurant looking at him through the window for a long time, talking myself into stepping into the unknown and having an actual grown-up conversation with him. He hadn’t really changed all that much in the last ten years.
He’d updated his haircut, and gotten both of his ears pierced. But he was the same tall, dark and handsome freakshow he’d always been. I remember reading something about how, after his accident, he’d gone in search of his roots and gotten some tattoos. One was a traditional Thai tattoo that was supposed to be protection against evil. They were super trendy among the rich and “deep.” The other was a traditional Hawaiian tattoo. He’d gone through a whole long process for that one, reconnecting with his mother’s heritage along the way. He’d opted to get them both done the traditional way. No tattoo guns for my self-indulgent spiritual seeker. That had to count for something, right?
A man who is willing to sit through hours of pain just to look deep and spiritual couldn’t be all bad. At least that was the theory.
I walked in and sat down at the table with no preamble. I hadn’t bothered to dress up for this “date.” Neither had he.
“I thought you weren’t going to show up,” he said, releasing a breath as he spoke.
“I thought about it,” I admitted.
“So, you have been avoiding me. It’s not just my imagination,” he nodded. He didn’t seem upset by the fact.
“That’s fair.”
We fell into an awkward silence for several minutes until the waiter came over and handed us both menus.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your order,” he said, giving us both a sly look before leaving.
“So, what’s good here,” Dan said.
“Is there anything here that you can actually eat on your diet?” It was a bar and grill after all. Everything here was deep fried, charbroiled, smothered in butter, or made entirely of carbs. It was definitely not ab friendly fare.
“Not really, but I’m making an exception tonight.”
“Then everything is good. It’s an all-around good restaurant,” I said.
“So, I’ve been wanting to ask you, why Mischa Vee?” he leaned forward as if he was really interested in the answer and smiled blithely.
“Because it’s my name.”
“Yeah, but Vee? Why Vee?”
“Because it was my father’s name.” I was being obtuse, but I wasn’t in the mood to make anything easy on him.
“Got tired of people misspelling it?”
“Bingo.”
He barked out a laugh as if he just discovered some deep connection that he never knew we had. He sat back in his chair with a silly grin on his face and stared at me as if he hadn’t seen me two days ago.
“So, now that I’ve got you here, I have a few questions of my own.”
“Ask.” The smile disappeared from his face but his stare was just as intense.
I hesitated. What did I want to know first? I should’ve prepared for this. I prepare for everything else. I should’ve written it all down and made an answer tree so I would be able to direct the conversation. I took a long, hard pull from the straw in my soda before I decided to speak.
“I think—”
“I’m sorry,” he cut me off.
“What?” I was pretty sure that I was in the middle of some sort of stress-induced hallucination.
“I’m sorry, for everything, for all of it.”