Author: L A Cotton
Category: Contemporary
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/l-a-cotton/page,11,592781-tragic_lies_a_forbidden_age-gap_romance_rixon_high.html
The truth was her fucking soul called to me. And yesterday, I’d slipped. I’d allowed myself to get close. But it was wrong on so many levels. I hadn’t been there, down by the lake, comforting her the way Jase or Cam or even Asher might. As an adult, as a father figure. I’d been comforting her as a friend… something more than a friend. Someone I felt drawn to. And when she’d pulled away from me and looked up at me with tears in her eyes, something inside me had cracked wide open.
She disarmed me. Because she made me care.
A seventeen-year-old girl did what no other woman ever had.
It was fucked up. That the first person I truly felt anything for—was completely and utterly forbidden.
“Whoa, what happened to you?” Jase asked me the second I reached the locker room.
“Car trouble.” It wasn’t a complete lie, “sorry.”
“Anything I can help with?”
“Nah, I can handle a flat tire.” I threw him a smirk and he rolled his eyes.
“I’ll see you out on the field.”
With a stiff nod, I moved past him and headed for the assistant coaches’ office, dumping my bag. Thankfully, Coach Huckley was nowhere to be seen. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with his passive aggressive bullshit after the hour I’d just had trying to bring my piece of shit truck back to life.
I hung my jacket on the rack and ran a hand down my face. I needed to get it together. It was better that Peyton hated me than believed there could ever be anything between us.
When I headed out, a few stragglers were still in the locker room. “Coach expects you on the field pronto,” I grumbled, pausing when I heard Peyton’s name.
“Come on, Hughes, spill the beans. You and Peyton… what’s going on there?”
Bryan chuckled. “Already told you, man, I don’t kiss and tell.”
“We all know you ran to her rescue when Farrow cornered her at the game. You’re her hero.” The guy—a kid named Sam—chuckled. “The question is though, did she get on her knees and thank you?”
My spine stiffened, but I wasn’t sure if it was the way Sam was talking about her or if it was the idea of her with Bryan… or both.
Backing up a couple of steps, I poked my head around the locker cages and said, “Field, now.”
“Shit, sorry, Coach.”
I stormed away but not before I heard Bryan say, “Don’t fucking talk about her like that, okay?”
I didn’t stick around to hear the rest. Bryan was protective of her, and part of me was relieved she had someone in her corner. But it didn’t stop the acidic taste of jealousy on my tongue.
The second I burst through the doors and into the cold air, I inhaled a deep breath trying to erase the image of her from my mind. But my eyes immediately went to the bleachers.
And even though I knew I wouldn’t find her there, I still looked for her.
Peyton didn’t seek me out again. She didn’t come with Lily to watch the team practice, and on the odd occasion I actually ventured into the school cafeteria to grab some lunch, I never saw her.
I told myself it was for the best, that this was how it had to be. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d screwed up somehow. We had a big game coming up though, so I didn’t have time to be distracted.
Let alone by a girl so out of reach, so forbidden, that even letting myself think about her made me feel skeezy.
The semi-final against Limmington High was Saturday in Harrisburg. It was only a short bus ride away and since we’d drawn the midday game, I had no doubt there would be big celebrations or commiserations Saturday night. It was all the guys had talked about in the locker room before and after practice.
By the time Friday morning rolled around, everyone was feeling the pressure, myself included. I climbed out of my car and surveyed the school parking lot, immediately scolding myself for looking for her. As if the universe heard my plea, I found her across the lot. But she wasn’t alone. That asshole Sean Farrow was crowding her against the wall, his hand pressed against the wall beside Peyton’s head as he leaned in and whispered something to her.
Before I knew what I was doing, I stalked toward them, anger rippling through me.
“Morning, Coach,” a voice called, and I glanced over to find Bryan heading in my direction. “What’s u—motherfucker,” he hissed under his breath. “Gotta go, see you at practice.” He took off, jogging toward them and it was enough to snap me out of the trance I’d found myself in.
What the fuck was I thinking? Approaching them—approaching her—like that?
I guess I could’ve pulled the staff card, but still, it was risky. Farrow wasn’t doing anything that Peyton didn’t look like she wasn’t enjoying. In fact, the second Bryan reached them, she looked pissed, as if he was ruining their moment.
A strange tightness squeezed my ribs, but I shook it off as I cut across the lawn, in the direction of the gym. Still, despite telling myself I didn’t care, I couldn’t help but glance over at them again. Peyton was all up in Bryan’s personal space, her finger wagging at his face while he backed away with his hands up. Farrow looked amused, standing there with a cocky smirk as he watched Peyton hand Bryan his balls.
I was too old for this shit. Too old to be worried about whatever teen drama they were tangled up in. But fuck, if I didn’t want to go over there and wipe the smirk right off the little shit’s face. Bryan shook his head and walked away, his dejection obvious even from all the way over here.
“Everything okay?” I asked casually as he reached me.
“Fucking girls,” he muttered, not bothering to slow down.
I lingered, watching as Farrow tried to talk to Peyton again. She brushed him off though, shoving past him and heading for the school building. I should have moved. I should have followed Bryan, because right at the last second, before she slipped inside, Peyton glanced up, finding me across the lawn. Even from the distance between us, I saw her breath catch, her eyes widen. But then her gaze narrowed, animosity rolling off her. She looked fucking adorable, all angry and worked up.
It was a bold move, one I’d no doubt regret later, but I didn’t break our stare off. Or maybe she’d just ensnared me that damn good, I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
Peyton shook her head, breaking the connection, and ducked inside, not giving me a backward glance.
I was still thinking about her cold stare when I entered the locker room.
“Nice of you to join us, Chase,” Coach Huckley said as he passed me.
“I’m five minutes early,” I gritted out.
“And yet, some of us were here thirty minutes ago. We’ve got a big game coming up Saturday—”
“Seriously, Coach,” I spat the words, “you want to go there?”
Glancing around, I was relieved to find most of the guys minding their business. Huckley pulled last week’s roster off the notice board and tacked the new one up. As expected, there were no big changes.
“I’m just telling it like it is.” He looked me up and down, as if I was nothing more than dirt on the bottom of his sneaker.
“Chase, get in here,” Jase’s voice rang out.
“The boss calls,” Huckley held my stare.
“Yeah, I’m going.” I almost shouldered past him but managed to check myself.
He wasn’t worth it. I knew that.
I’d known people like him my whole life. People who liked to remind me I was nothing more than Cameron Chase’s down-and-out brother.
“Come in, take a seat,” Jase said, barely looking up from the notes in front of him.
“What’s up?” I asked, whipping off my Raiders ball cap and running a hand through my damp hair. I may have hit the whiskey a little too hard last night, but I was here on time.
“Here.” He grabbed a manila folder and threw it across the desk.
“What is this?” I picked it up and flicked it open.
“It’s the job application for the permanent position.”
“Shit, Jase, I didn’t—
”
“You’re good with the guys, you’re focused, you show up and put in the work. Give me one good reason why you can’t say yes to this?”
My eyes scanned the form. He was offering me a lifeline; offering me the chance to finally make something of my life.
It was a no-brainer.
“You don’t need to decide right now…”
Fuck.
“Look, Jase. I’m grateful, man. I’m so fucking grateful. But I didn’t earn this.” I don’t deserve it.
He had no idea that I’d been… well, whatever the hell I’d been doing with Peyton. We hadn’t crossed any real lines, except the kiss—which I had no intention of letting happen again. But the fact I felt as guilty as fuck told me all I needed to know.
I was a lying piece of shit, and I didn’t deserve his support.
“I’ll be the judge of that,” he said. “How about this? I refuse to accept no as an answer unless you give me a valid reason why not.”
“Come on, Jase, that’s… I’ll just not turn up.” I gave him a pointed look. It wasn’t like he could coerce me into taking the position.
“You won’t do that. You’re many things, Xander, but you’re not a complete asshole.” Jase smirked.
“Why is this so important to you?” I asked. He’d never been so invested in my life before. Sure, Jase often played peacekeeper between me and Cameron, but he’d never gone to such lengths.
“It’s time, Xan,” he said.
I released a thin breath. I didn’t want to do this now, here of all places. I didn’t really want to do it ever.
“Did Cameron put you up to this?”
“No. No!” He shook his head and held up his hands. “That’s not what this is. I knew you needed a break, and I gave you one, and you’ve surprised me at every turn. I know you probably never imagined coming back to football, but you’re an asset to the team.”
His words should have made me feel good, and maybe a small part of me did. But the rest of me was steeped in guilt and regret. I’d been so close to making all Cam’s dreams come true and I’d blown it. I’d sabotaged my future.
I had to live with that every second of every day. I’d let my brother down—the one person who had done everything in his power to raise me right and give me everything despite the fact our parents were gone. I’d let them down.
I’d let myself down.
“Xan?” Jase’s gruff voice pulled me from my thoughts. “If you ever need to talk…”
“Yeah, I know.” I ran a hand down my face. I didn’t need to talk.
I didn’t.
“Okay, get out of here. Take that, read it, mull it over… but for the love of God, don’t make a hasty decision.” His eyes drilled into me, so hard I was worried he would crack my mask of indifference and see inside my dirty black soul. I’d gotten good over the years at deflecting, of playing the misunderstood guy with a chip on his shoulder.
“Okay.” I closed the manila folder and got to my feet, offering him a small nod of appreciation. “I’ll see you out on the field.”
“Damn straight you will, we’ve got a championship to win.”
The corner of my mouth tipped. Even now, even after his successful, albeit short career in the NFL, football was everything to Jase. I wondered what he saw when he looked at me. I wondered what he thought all those years ago when I gave up my shot.
As if he heard my thoughts, as I reached the door, Jase said, “Maybe it’s time to lay the past to rest, Xan. Maybe it’s time to move on.”
If only it were that easy.
Chapter Thirteen
Peyton
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Lily asked me for the tenth time this morning, and it was barely eight-thirty.
“I already told Cindy I’d pick up an extra shift at the diner.”
“But it’s game day…” She pouted. “It’s kind of a big deal.”
“I know. But Kaiden and your dad will have enough fans cheering them on. I doubt they’ll miss little old me.”
“I’ll miss you.”
“You’ll be fine.” I offered her a weak smile, quietly adding, “I need the money, Lil.”
It wasn’t a lie; I did need the money. But it wasn’t the only reason I didn’t want to go to the game with them. Maybe it made me a coward, hiding from Xander, but I wasn’t ready to see him again, not after Monday.
I’d managed to avoid him all week. It wasn’t hard. He barely came into the main school building, and during lunch, I busied myself with assignments in the library. But while avoiding him was as easy as breathing, fighting the urge to search him out wasn’t.
No matter how much it had hurt when he shunned me.
“You sure I can’t convince you to come?” Lily pouted.
I shook my head, hoping she would drop it before I did something stupid like admit the truth.
“Fine. But you’re wrong you know? We all want you there. You’re a part of this family now. You’re one of us.”
Lily staggered back as I threw my arms around her and buried my face in the crook of her neck. “You’re my best friend, babe. The best.”
Soft laughter tickled my hair. “I love you too,” Lily said thickly, pushing me back to arm’s length. “I should probably go finish getting ready. I promised Kaiden I’d go over there and give him a good luck… kiss.” Heat exploded in her cheeks.
“A good luck kiss, huh? And where exactly do you kiss?”
“Peyton!” she breathed.
“Go,” I said, saving her anymore embarrassment. She was so cute. But as I watched her go, the ache in my chest grew heavier. Lily was flourishing, flying high and free on the wings of love and acceptance. While I withered in the shadows.
I finished up my breakfast, watching the Ford family as they breezed in and out of the kitchen, a hive of activity. And when they finally left, I released a steady breath. Lily’s words still ringing loudly in my head.
You’re a part of this family now. You’re one of us.
I wanted to believe her, I did.
But when you’d spent your entire life not belonging, it was hard to accept anything else.
For a Saturday shift, Cindy’s Grill was quieter than usual. No surprise given the town’s beloved Raiders were over in Harrisburg playing in the semi-finals. It was all people talked about. So much so that when a man had asked Cindy to turn up the radio so they could hear the commentary, she’d indulged them.
“Table fifteen, order up,” Calvin, the grill cook, called through the hatch as he slid the plates over to me.
“Thanks, Cal.” Grabbing two napkins, I picked up the plates and made my way over to table fifteen. “Okay, I’ve got the burger with dirty fries and the ribs with fries.”
“Smells good,” the man said, grinning at his wife. I’d spied their rings when I took their order.
“If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to—”
The diner erupted in cheers as ‘touchdooooown’ rang out through the radio speaker.
“You go to Rixon High, right?” The woman eyed my name tag, and I nodded. “I’m surprised you’re not at the game.”
“I’m sorry, do I know you?”
“My daughter is a senior, Carrie-Anne Trombley.” She smiled warmly. “She mentioned she had a friend that worked here.”
Me and Carrie-Anne Trombley, friends? I didn’t have the heart to burst her mom’s bubble.
“Uh, yeah,” I said, trying not to frown. “We have a few classes together. She’s not with—”
“Oh, she’s at the game.”
“She is?” I hadn’t taken her for a football fan. In fact, she seemed to hate the football team with a passion. Especially Bryan.
But then, I had seen the way she looked at him sometimes.
“She didn’t tell you?” The woman seemed genuinely surprised. Weird. “Her cousin Jude is a huge fan just like our Carrie. He attends Temple University now, but came back to take her to the game.”
“I’m sorry,�
�� I said, glancing over to the service counter. “I need to—”
“Oh, of course.”
“Enjoy your food.” Hurrying over to the counter, I pretended to busy myself.
“What was all that about?” Cindy asked quietly over my shoulder.
“Her daughter is in my class,” I said. “She thinks we’re friends.”
“And you’re not?”
“We’ve barely ever spoken.”
“Maybe her daughter wants to be your friend?” Cindy gave me one of her trademark smirks.
“Yeah, maybe.” There was still something about it that rang weird to me, but it wasn’t like I’d ever tried to get to know Carrie-Anne. It was easy to judge without knowing the facts.
The doorbell jangled as a group of guys walked in. My eyes immediately went to the guy upfront. Sean.
Crap.
I’d managed to avoid him all week too, after he’d cornered me earlier in the week to apologize for what happened at the game. Sean wasn’t a bad guy; he just didn’t like being rejected. Male pride was a strange thing. But I didn’t have the energy to get pissy about it, so we’d talked, and I’d accepted his apology. But I’d turned down his offer to take me out and make it up to me.
His eyes lit up when he found me across the diner.
“Uh oh, girl,” Cindy snickered, “I know that look.”
“He’s… a friend.”
“Aren’t they always.” She patted my shoulder as she disappeared to take care of one of her tables, leaving me to deal with Sean and his rabble of friends.
I grabbed four menus and made my way over to them. “Welcome to Cindy’s. Are you dining with us today?”
“Yeah, Sean’s real hungry. Isn’t that right, Farrow?”
“Don’t be an asshole, Richie,” Sean shot me an apologetic look. “We’re eating.” His eyes dipped down my body and back up, a small grin curving his lips. Damn, his smile, it got me every time.
It’s how I’d ended up tangled up with him in the first place.
“Right this way.” I forced myself to take a deep breath as I led Sean and his friends over to a booth by the window. Waiting until they were all seated, I passed around the menus. “Can I get you some drinks?”