Author: L A Cotton
Category: Contemporary
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/l-a-cotton/page,12,592781-tragic_lies_a_forbidden_age-gap_romance_rixon_high.html
“We’ll take four Cokes,” Sean said, not giving his friend time to answer first.
“Sure thing. I’ll be back to take your order soon.”
As I walked away, I heard Richie say, “Fuck, Farrow, you’re punching way above your weight.”
“Quit it, asshole, Peyton is good people.”
Good people.
But not good enough. The thought came out of nowhere. But I wasn’t thinking about Sean, I was thinking about the dark-eyed guy who refused to see me.
I rang their drinks order through and busied myself with making them. But a trickle of awareness ran through me.
“Sorry,” Sean’s voice gave me pause, and I turned slowly to find him leaning against the counter. Cindy caught my eye over his shoulder and raised a brow.
“I didn’t know you’d be here today.” He gave me another one of those dimpled smiles.
“It’s fine,” I said.
“I didn’t want you to hold it against me.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Richie is—”
“I can handle Richie, Sean.”
“How come you’re not at the game…? I figured you’d be there supporting Hughes.” Something like jealousy flashed in his eyes.
“Nothing is going on between me and Bryan, not that it’s any of your business.”
He stood up, holding his hands up. “Relax, I didn’t mean it…” I gave him a pointed look and he chuckled. “Yeah, okay. I did.”
“I’m working, Sean. I should—”
“Come out with me later?”
“Sean…”
“Just… think about it. We’re heading to that bar, The Tap. They have live music tonight and Richie knows the owner, so we won’t be carded.” His mouth quirked again. “Go on. You know you want to. Unless you were planning to party with the team.”
I wasn’t.
I’d volunteered to pull a double shift to keep myself occupied… and to avoid Bryan and the team when they got back from Harrisburg.
“I’ll think about it,” I blurted, grabbing my order pad and moving around the counter.
“What time do you get off?” Sean asked me, a sparkle in his eye.
“Eight.”
“I’ll be waiting,” he said, giving me another lingering look that once upon a time would have made my toes curl. I wasn’t that girl now though.
“Friends…” I gave him a pointed look. “Nothing more.”
“Scouts honor.” Sean held up two fingers before slipping back to his booth. I didn’t miss him high-fiving Jake.
Another roar filled the diner, people whooping and hollering. The Raiders had done it—they’d beat Limmington and secured their place in the finals next weekend. I could imagine how wild the party tonight at Bryan’s house would be, but I had no desire to go. To be around all those people, pretending everything was fine.
That I was fine.
The skin on my inner thigh burned. I hadn’t taken the knife to my thigh again, but I’d thought about it. I’d thought about carving the dark thoughts right out of me.
But I wasn’t that girl, I wasn’t.
I wasn’t her.
Tears burned the backs of my eyes, but I swallowed them down as I approached a table to take their order. I would throw myself into work. I would go to the bar with Sean and drink and laugh and pretend.
Anything to not think about my mom. About what she’d done.
About what I’d done.
Anything to not think about him.
Cindy let me clock off fifteen minutes early to freshen up for the date I’d told her numerous times wasn’t actually a date. I used the small bathroom to change into my plain black cropped t-shirt and unravel my hair from the messy ponytail. A couple of spritzes of perfume and some lip gloss and it was as good as it was going to get without going back to the Ford’s house.
“Seriously, girl, if you look that good after ten minutes, I can only imagine how you’d look after an hour.” Cindy grinned at me as she wiped down the counter.
“It’s the best I could do.” I shrugged, sweeping my blonde waves over one shoulder.
“He’ll love it. Now go, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” Cindy winked before practically shooing me out of the diner.
Sean was waiting outside, propped against his truck. He let out a low whistle, his eyes full of heat and hunger. “You look—”
“Friends, remember.” I levelled him with a hard look.
“Yeah, yeah. I know the rules. Let’s get out of here.” He yanked open the door and I slid inside.
The last time I’d been in Sean’s car, things had ended a little differently.
Maybe this was a bad idea.
But I wasn’t ready to go home, and I definitely didn’t want to go to the party at Bryan’s, despite the messages I’d had from him and Lily begging me to go.
“You okay over there?” Sean asked as he drove the short distance across town to The Tap.
“I’m fine.” I offered him a weak smile. “Who’ll be there tonight?”
“Richie, and a couple of the other guys. I think Jayden is bringing his girlfriend. It’ll be fun.”
Fun. It felt like a lifetime ago since I’d had fun. Now when I looked back and imagined myself partying and flirting and hooking up with guys, a shudder went through me. That girl had died the night I’d fallen into the river. And maybe it was for the best because although she was always up for a good time, it was all a lie.
A sham.
Sean pulled off the main street and into a small parking lot next to an old brick building. I’d never been here before, but I knew of it.
“Ready?” he asked, and I nodded, sliding out of the car before he could get around and open the door for me.
A knowing smirk lifted the corner of his lips when I met him at the hood of the car. “You’re really set on this friends thing, huh?”
“Yup.” I ran a hand down my hair and flashed him a smile. “Lead the way, friend.”
Sean motioned toward the door, a neon sign hanging above it, flickering ‘live music.’ I could already hear the heavy beat pulsing inside. But even over the noise, I swear I heard Sean say, “We’ll see.”
“Come on, babe, you’re drunk,” Sean said. “I should get you home.”
Home.
Didn’t he know I didn’t have a home anymore… not that my house had ever really been a home.
“I’m fine… fine. See.” I swatted Sean’s chest, stumbling forward. He caught me with an exasperated sigh. “We’re leaving. So are you coming or—”
Something caught my eye across the bar. No, not something.
Someone.
“I want to stay, just for a little while.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Sean rolled his eyes, looking past me and smiling.
“Who are you—” I glanced back. “Oh.”
He was blatantly checking out his friend’s girlfriend’s friend. I couldn’t remember her name. Hadn’t paid much attention when he’d made the introductions.
“I’m gonna head out. You’ll be okay getting home, yeah?”
“I… Sean, wait…” But he was already gone, grabbing the girl’s hand and leading her to the exit.
Asshole.
I drained the remainder of my drink and slammed it on a nearby table before searching out the only other familiar face in the bar.
“Coach Chase,” I grinned, “I didn’t expect to find you here.” I stumbled toward the table he was perched on, falling straight into a pretty brunette. “Oops, sorry.”
“A friend of yours?” she asked Xander, arching one of her perfectly plucked brows. The liquor in my veins settled a little as I took her in. She was pretty, beautiful even, and she was standing close to Xander. Too close.
Oh my God.
Was he here with her?
On a date?
My stomach roiled as I tried to right myself, but the room spun, and my arm shot out to grab…
Xander’s arm.
“Shit,” he grumbled. He looked good, too good, standing there in his jeans and a dark shirt, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows in that sexy way guys did. His hair was an imperfectly styled mess, strands falling into his eyes a little, disguising their dark depths.
“Sorry, Tash, but I should probably deal with this,” he said, curving his arm around my waist. It felt nice to be so close to him again.
It felt right.
“Do you need me to come. I can—”
“No, stay. I’ll tell Harry to put your drinks on my tab. Stay, enjoy the music.” He started leading me away.
“Is that your girlfriend?” My head lolled against his arm. “She’s pretty, really pretty.”
“You’re drunk.”
“So drunk.” I hiccoughed, smothering a giggle with my hand. “Sean and his friend Rich—”
“That little shit brought you here and got you drunk?”
“Little shit?” I peeked up but Xander wasn’t looking at me. He was too focused on leading me out of the crowded bar.
“She okay?” One of the security men asked as we reached the entrance.
“Don’t worry, Shane, she’s a friend. I’ll make sure she gets home okay.”
“I bet you will.”
Xander tensed beside me, and I was sure I heard a muted cuss slip from his lips, but everything was spinning so fast I couldn’t be sure of anything.
“Jase is going to lose his shit when he—”
“No.” I gripped Xander’s arm tight. “You can’t tell him. Please, you can’t… I just need to sober up and then I’ll be okay.” I pulled on his arm and his hard gaze found me. “Please, Xander.”
He loosened a breath. “Come on, I have my truck around back.”
Keeping his arm tight around my waist, Xander led me around the back of the bar to the small parking lot. He opened the door and bundled me inside. My eyes felt heavy, much like my limbs.
“Thank you,” I whispered as he leaned over me to get the buckle. He looked up, his eyes darting to my mouth. Heat flashed through me, tightening my stomach. Sometimes, like right now, and when we’d been down at the lake, I swear he looked at me like he wanted to kiss me.
And I wanted him to. God, did I ever.
The air was nonexistent as Xander stared at me, but I could feel the warmth of his breath tickle my face. He inhaled sharply, shaking his head, as if to break the tension between us. Pulling away, he slammed the door shut and went around to the driver’s side, folding his body inside.
“An hour,” he grunted. “You have an hour to sober up and then I’m taking you home.”
“Well in that case, I need food,” I grumbled. “Lots and lots of food.”
Xander took me to a drive-thru and ordered me a supersized portion of fries and a Coke. The sugar would stop me crashing, he said, and the carbs would soak up the liquor.
By the time he pulled into the shadowy parking lot, I’d already devoured half of my fries.
“What?” I said, licking the salt off my fingers. He just shook his head. “Want some?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“So who was that woman back there? Tash.” I peeked over at him. I already felt better, the world no longer spinning. But I had the makings of a gruesome hangover brewing.
“A friend.”
Okay. So he didn’t want to talk about her. It wasn’t my business who Xander spent his time with. But it didn’t stop it eating away at me. She was so pretty and put together and mature, exactly the kind of woman guys like Xander dated. The kind of woman they settled down with.
Suddenly, I didn’t feel very hungry. Closing the lid on my fries, I dumped the container in the brown paper bag.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I feel better, thank you.”
“Ready to tell me what happened tonight?”
I avoided his heavy stare. “I already told you, I was with Sean and his friends.”
“And they plied you with alcohol, got you wasted, and then, what? Abandoned you?”
“It wasn’t like that.” Shame washed over me as I remembered Sean’s advances when we’d first gotten to the bar. A hand on my knee. An arm around my shoulder. He’d broken his promise and I hadn’t taken too kindly to being ambushed. When his friend, his girlfriend, and her friend showed up, he’d backed away from me.
Now I knew why.
Xander snorted, the derisive sound making me flinch.
“I’m a big girl,” I sniped, finally meeting his stare. “I can take care of myself.”
“You were in a bar, alone and drunk… not exactly what I call taking care of yourself.”
Glancing away, I pressed my forehead against the cool glass, my eyes shuttering at his words. There was so much anger in his voice. But what I couldn’t figure out was his motivation.
“I should take you home,” he said, and I wondered if he noticed I flinched at that word.
Home.
I still didn’t know how to truly feel about that.
Twisting around to him, I laid my head against the seat and said, “Just a little while longer, please.”
“Peyton…” He let out a heavy sigh.
“Please.”
“Ten minutes.” His lips thinned with disapproval, a contrast to the small smile gracing my lips.
“Thank you.”
Chapter Fourteen
Xander
The air in the truck was too thick, but I only had myself to blame. I shouldn’t have intervened. Or at least, I should have taken her straight to Jase’s and let him deal with her. But I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t do the right thing where Peyton was concerned.
She was under my skin, and the second she had stumbled over to me at the bar, I’d lost all sense of reason.
Fuck only knew what Tash and Shane thought of it all, but I’d deal with them later. Right now, I couldn’t think about anything besides the girl half-asleep in the seat next to me. Her eyes were heavy, her long blonde hair spilling over her shoulders like a golden waterfall.
She was too damn beautiful for her own good.
“You didn’t come to the game?” I asked.
“I had to work…” She peeked up at me, surprise swirling in her eyes.
“And here was me thinking you might be avoiding me.”
“You can’t say things like that to me…” Her breath caught, and she was right.
Damn, she was right.
I wasn’t supposed to be encouraging this… whatever this was. But I’d looked for her today and noticed her absence almost immediately. Jase had confirmed she was working a double shift at Cindy’s Grill, but I suspected that wasn’t the only reason she stayed away.
And I couldn’t blame her.
God, I was a fucking mess. And all over a girl I could never have.
Because this—her and me—it wasn’t an option.
Ever.
And yet… it didn’t stop me from imagining things.
“Who’s Tash?” Peyton whispered, stroking her fingers up and down my worn leather seat.
“A friend.”
“A friend you like to fuck?”
“Peyton.” I swallowed roughly. That word on her lips… it was sinful. Heat splashed inside me.
Get a fucking grip. I clenched my fist against my thigh. I needed to take her home, right now. Before I did something reckless, something I couldn’t ever take back.
Something that would doom us both.
“I was jealous, seeing you with her,” she said brazenly.
I wanted to believe it was the liquor in her veins talking, but when I dropped my gaze to hers, I saw the honesty glittering there.
Peyton meant every single word.
“We’re not… together.”
Why the fuck had I said that?
Maybe I should have told her we were and put an end to this thing brewing between us.
“You’re seventeen,” I said, feeling sick to my stomach.
“I’m eighteen soon.”
Her breath hitched. “Is that really what you see when you look at me? A kid?” Peyton sat up, fixing her eyes right on me. “Because other men don’t look at me like I’m a kid. They look at me with lust in their eyes. You look at me with—”
“Stop, just stop.” I sighed deeply. “This… us, it can’t ever happen. You’re in high school, Peyton. And I’m… I’m no good for a girl like you.”
Not to mention the fact I worked there.
Hurt etched into her expression but she didn’t look away. “Being with you… it makes everything quiet, Xander.”
Fuck.
Fuck!
“Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe.” Her voice was quiet. Too fucking quiet. “Everyone around me is getting on with their lives and I’m… I’m stuck. I dream about that night constantly. I dream about slipping under the water and feeling it fill my lungs. The cold water turning my blood to ice.
“I dream about you pulling me out. You think my friends want to hear that? That they want to know that I can’t get the image of my mom out of my head… the blood. So much blood.”
Silent tears guttered down her cheeks, shattering some piece deep inside me. Before I could stop myself, I pulled Peyton into my arms, sliding one hand into her thick waves and cupping the back of her head as I tucked her against my body.
“Ssh, I got you, I got you,” I whispered, gently rocking us as she sobbed quietly.
I knew what it felt like to be alone, to carry such a burden. My mother hadn’t neglected me, not at all. She’d loved me fiercely and fought to stay with me. But when she had finally lost her fight with the tumor, something inside me had broken, and never quite fixed itself.
I could barely remember her, just a glimmer of her soft voice and warm smile. The lingering memory of her singing to me and holding me. Twenty years later, I couldn’t remember much at all about her, but I could remember every minute without her.
Peyton’s slim fingers twisted into my sweater and I inhaled a sharp breath as she pressed herself closer.
The right thing, the wise thing, would have been to gently slide her off my lap and take her home. But as I held her, I realized we were past that. Past the point of pretending something wasn’t happening between us.