Author: L A Cotton
Category: Contemporary
Go to read content：https://onlinereadfreenovel.com/l-a-cotton/page,13,592781-tragic_lies_a_forbidden_age-gap_romance_rixon_high.html
Even if I couldn’t act on it, even if I wouldn’t act on it, I could do this. I could hold and comfort her.
I could let her know she wasn’t alone.
But then I felt her shift. Her cheeks brushed mine, her warm lips skating across my face as she inhaled a shuddering breath. Then she was kissing me. Barely a whisper of a touch, yet I felt it all the way to the pit of my stomach.
“Xander,” she whispered, turning her head slightly and sliding her mouth against mine again. Harder. More determined.
My entire body shuddered as I smothered the involuntary moan rumbling in my chest. “Peyton, no…”
“Please, Xander. Give me this.” Her palms flattened against my chest, sliding up to my shoulders as she kissed the corner of my mouth, flicking her tongue over the seam of my lips.
Jesus. It felt good.
Too fucking good.
It felt like temptation and salvation, and sweet, sweet torture.
“Stop,” it was a ragged breath, “you have to stop.” I released a long breath, forcing my body to calm the fuck down. She was so close, too fucking close. And I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to fist my hands in her hair and crash my lips down on hers and kiss her until I didn’t know where I ended and she began.
But she was drunk, and I was…
I was screwed.
So fucking screwed.
“Y-you don’t want me?” Peyton lifted her tearstained face to mine, the raw vulnerability in her voice like a punch to the gut.
“We can’t,” I said again. Only this time, I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince more. Peyton or myself.
“I see.” Her entire body tensed as she started backing away, scrambling to her own seat. “I think you should take me back.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, refusing to meet my gaze.
“Yeah.” I exhaled another steady breath, firing up the truck. It rumbled to life, drowning out the violent thud of my heart against my chest.
We’d crossed a line.
I’d crossed a line.
And I wasn’t sure where we went from here.
The ride to Jason’s was almost unbearable. Peyton didn’t speak, let alone look at me. I’d done some fucked up things in my life but tonight topped them all.
When I finally pulled up just down the road from the Ford’s, it was a little after eleven. I didn’t know where Jase and Fee thought she was, but Peyton didn’t seem worried as she grabbed the handle and went to shoulder the door.
“Thanks,” she murmured, “for… everything.”
The words lashed my insides.
“I can come to the door and explain—”
“It’s fine. I texted Fee earlier.”
She had?
Dread snaked through me, but Peyton let out a bitter laugh. “Don’t worry,” she sniped. “I didn’t tell her who I was with.”
“That’s not—”
“It doesn’t matter. I should go.” Her eyes barely met mine.
I had to fight the urge to pull her back inside the car and drive away so we could finish what we started, but if I went there…
I doubted getting charged with a corruption of minors’ sentence would be the worst thing that would happen to me.
“Fuck,” I rapped my knuckles against the steering wheel, watching as Peyton slipped quietly into the Ford’s house.
I was a mess.
This whole fucking thing was a mess.
Once Peyton was safe inside, I floored the gas and sped off toward my side of town. But the ride did little to ease the memory of her lips on my skin. She may as well have branded me.
The second I got back to my apartment, I checked the mirror in the bathroom just to be sure she hadn’t, because fuck, I could still feel her soft lips right there, pressed against my skin. I was rock hard just thinking about it, and before I knew it, I’d stripped out of my clothes and stumbled into a cold shower. But I didn’t find any solace there. Peyton was like a ghost I couldn’t exorcise, a beautiful nightmare I couldn’t escape.
There was something very fucking wrong with me because the desire coursing through me didn’t tamper down under the cold spray. Giving in to the temptation, I gripped myself roughly and thrust into my hand, groaning into the waterfall.
My thoughts hit me like a runaway train, slamming into me with such force, such clarity. I couldn’t do anything but picture her on her knees, those pretty pink lips wrapped around my dick.
“Fuck,” I grunted, jacking myself harder, lost to the imaginary feel of my fingers in her hair, her tongue and teeth driving me to the point of ecstasy. I’d guide her right, show her how I liked it. And when she’d made me come, moaning her name, I’d lay her out on my bed and show her just how much I appreciated her.
How much I wanted her.
“Fuck. Fuuuuck!” I came hard, jerking into the shower spray. My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath, tried to process what the hell had just happened.
I’d imagined Peyton before… but never like this. And God, now I’d pictured her like that, I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to look at her the same way again.
She was just a teenage girl.
Except she wasn’t.
And the more I tried to fight it, the more I seemed to screw up.
Sunday, Cameron summoned me to his house for dinner. Technically, the invite came via Hailee, but only because she liked to play peacekeeper between us.
“Uncle Xan,” Ashleigh said as she opened the door. “You came.”
“Let me guess. Your dad wasn’t expect—”
“Xander.” Cameron appeared in the hall and gave me a sharp nod.
“I brought a bottle of wine.” I offered it to him, and he took it. “How was the party last night?” My attention turned to my niece who looked a little worse for wear.
“Ugh, don’t ask,” she grumbled.
“I think you should tell Uncle Xander all about how you came home drunk and puked in your trash can.”
I let out a low whistle. “No wonder you look so pale.”
“I’m never drinking again.” Ashleigh balked.
“That’s what we all say, kid, until the next time someone offers you a drink.”
“Good thing you’re grounded for a month then, isn’t it?” Cameron flashed her a smug grin.
“Mom,” she yelled. “He’s doing it again.”
“Doing what?” I mouthed at my brother.
“Apparently, now Leigh’s eighteen, I can no longer treat her like a child. But what she seems to forget is that it works both ways. If she makes childish decisions, she’ll—”
“Okay, Dad. I get it.” She threw up her hands. “I screwed up. At least I came home and didn’t stay out and let some guy corrupt me and—”
“Whoa,” Cam said, frowning. “Let’s not have this conversation before we eat.”
“Whatever you say, Dad.” She sauntered off down the hall.
“Sometimes she makes Avery look like a dream.”
“I guess guys are different,” I said as if I knew anything about parenting.
“Yeah, with him all I had to worry about was him knocking up some poor unsuspecting girl.” He ran a hand over his jaw, looking to where Ashleigh had disappeared into the kitchen. “Girls are… they’re a different thing altogether.”
“Don’t be too hard on her. She’s a good kid.”
“Yeah, it could be worse. She could be like Peyton.”
“What that’s supposed to mean?”
Shit.
It came out far too sharp.
Cameron’s brow knitted together. “Come on, Xan. I know you don’t know much about her, but before everything, it was pretty obvious she was… a free spirit.”
“Jase seems to think it’s hardly any surprise given everything she’s been through.”
“Yeah, she’s had it tough.” A flicker of regret shone in Cameron’s gaze. “That was a shitty thing for me to say. Peyton is a good kid even if she’s a little misguided. Leigh loves her. Lily too. And I ca
n’t imagine what it must have been like, finding her mom the way she did…”
“They’re in high school. They’re supposed to screw up and experiment and make mistakes.”
Fuck knows I had.
From the way Cameron was staring at me, I knew he remembered what I was like at that age all too well.
“I don’t envy Jase,” Cam admitted, “that’s for sure.”
“Look at us, having a normal conversation.”
“Stranger things have happened.” He regarded me. “Did you make a decision about Jase’s offer yet?”
“No, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t start. I have some things to figure out first.”
“What things?”
“I’m not doing this—”
“There you two are.” Hailee slipped out of the patio doors and came around to Cameron. Leaning down, she grazed his cheek with her lips. “Dinner won’t be long. Xander.” She smiled at me. “I’m glad you came. We both are.”
I gave her a small nod.
“We’re just discussing the job at the high school,” Cameron said.
I wanted to bang his head against the wall. He couldn’t just leave it alone like I’d asked.
“And?” Hailee looked at me expectantly.
“I’m still deciding.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for you.”
“There’s only one decision to make here, surely you know that?” Cameron studied me.
“I didn’t ever see it being a permanent thing.”
“That’s bullshit, Xander, and you know it.”
“Cam!” Hailee warned, squeezing her husband’s shoulders. “Xander is a grown adult. He can make his own decision.”
“I just don’t understand what there is to decide.” Cam slumped back in the chair, letting out an exasperated breath. “It’d give you stability. A real shot at getting out of that shithole apartment. You’d get a full package: health insurance, a dental plan… all that stuff.”
“If I’d have known coming would have turned into a third degree I would have gone to Bell’s.”
“I asked him to play nice,” Hailee added, before disappearing back inside.
“I just don’t understand what you’re so scared of?” There was no malice in his voice this time, only genuine curiosity. But it was easy for Cam. Always had been. He’d been old enough when Mom had died to get on with life, same with Dad.
I knew he hadn’t had it easy taking care of me, but he’d had Hailee by his side, not to mention Jase and Asher.
I stared at him, at the brother who’d raised me. The guy who’d always been there. And I’d never felt more distance between us.
“You don’t get it,” I whispered.
“Try me. For fuck’s sake, talk to me, Xander. I don’t see what the problem is.” His eyes narrowed and he ran a hand over his jaw. “Jase did you a solid by offering you the job with the team.”
“I know that.”
“So what is there to decide? You’ll never get another shot like this. It’s the right call and you know it.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“You’re worried about letting him down? About falling back into old habits—”
“Don’t,” I gritted out.
“Don’t what? Try to talk to you?” His lips pursed. “Try to understand what the hell you could possibly have to think about? It’s a good job. It’s the right—”
“I’m not a kid anymore, Cam. You don’t need to pull the father figure routine with me.”
He stiffened. “What the hell does that mean?” It came out cold.
“Nothing,” I huffed, glancing away. “It means nothing.”
“You know, Mom and Dad would want more for you. They’d want nothing more than to see you succeed… succeed at something.”
He might as well have punched me in the stomach. I stared at him, slack-jawed and speechless. The blood drained from his face. “Shit, Xander, I didn’t—”
“Whatever.” I went to get up, but Hailee called, “Cam, a little help please.”
Her voice was like a bucket of cold water over the tension brewing between us. My brother let out a small sigh of frustration while I pulled out my smokes.
“You need to quit that shit,” he gritted out as he stood.
“I’ll get right on it, Dad.”
I regretted the word the second it tumbled from my lips. It was a low blow, I knew that. But I wasn’t a kid anymore and I was so fucking sick of him always thinking he knew what was best for me. It was tough shit if he didn’t like the decisions I made.
He gave me a lingering look before going back into the house. I could finally breathe again. Dropping my head back against the wall, I inhaled a breath. It was so damn cold it made my lungs smart, but I welcomed the burn.
It was always the same between us. Cameron held my mistakes against me, and I resented him for it. But along the way, it had gotten messy, miscommunications getting tangled up until there was no unravelling the past. And the kicker was, I knew… I knew I’d screwed things up back in high school. That one split decision had set me on a dark path. I couldn’t handle the disappointment, the gut-wrenching guilt, the way Cameron looked at me after the accident. But instead of getting through it, together, we’d only drifted further and further apart.
A minute later, Ashleigh slipped outside and joined me. “I thought I’d find you out here,” she said.
“What’s up, kid?”
“Sometimes I wonder if you say that to piss me off or to remember that you’re the adult now.” She snickered, poking her tongue out at me.
“Trust me, I don’t need a reminder,” I said, leaning down to put out my smoke.
“I wish you’d quit that. It’s such a disgusting habit.” Her nose screwed up.
“Could be worse.” I shrugged.
“It’s just so… unattractive.”
I glanced over at her and arched a brow. “Thanks.” It came out sarcastic.
“You know, if you quit you might have a better chance at getting a girlfriend.”
I almost choked on my own breath. “A girlfriend? Where the hell did that come from?”
“I heard Mom and Dad talking… I guess they think it’s time you settled down or something.”
Peyton’s face popped into my head.
I was officially going to hell.
“Uncle Xan?” Ashleigh whispered, and I wondered what she saw to make her sound so concerned.
“I’m not sure this is a conversation you and me should be having.”
“I’m eighteen now. I know all about the birds and bees.” She rolled her eyes.
“I really don’t know what to say to that.”
Ashleigh chuckled. “Maybe Mom could set you up with one of her artist friends from the group?”
“Been there, done that. It ended badly.” The woman had been nice enough, but I wasn’t exactly the kind of guy with much to offer someone. We’d gone on two dates before she realized I had no real plans for the future.
Most women my age were looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now, and when they realized I had no plans to settle down, they never called again. Tash was the exception.
She was like me—damaged—and for a while, it had been good between us. Unconventional, but good.
Now she was one of the few people I called a friend. She’d already blown up my phone this morning about last night. But I wasn’t ready to deal with her meddlesome ways. She knew me. She knew I didn’t play the hero.
She also had no idea that the girl she’d briefly met last night was the same girl I’d pulled out of the river.
“Uncle Xan, can I ask you a question?” Ashleigh’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.
“Sure, Leigh Leigh.” I smirked at the nickname I’d called her when she was a child.
“How do you tell if someone likes you or not?”
“I… I’m not sure I’m the right person to answer that.”
“Because you’ve nev
er been in a relationship?” She gave me a mocking smile. “Come on, you must have liked someone, you’re almost thirty.”
Yeah, I’d liked someone. One of her best friends.
“You got yourself a crush, Leigh?” I teased, trying to deflect the spotlight burning down on me.
“I… no, it isn’t like that. We’re friends… at least,” she dropped her gaze, “I think we are. He’s confusing.”
My eyes narrowed. “He a good guy?”
She pressed her lips together and met my gaze. “He’s kind of a lone wolf.”
“Anyone I know?” My brow arched.
“Like I’m going to tell you. Forget it.” She leaped up, “forget I said anything.”
“My advice,” I offered before she could escape, “make him work for it. You’re a good kid, Leigh. You deserve to be treated right.”
Her eyes widened as if she was seeing me in a whole new light, and then she disappeared inside.
Leaving me alone.
Just the way I liked it.
Chapter Fifteen
Peyton
“What happened to you last night?” Lily asked me as we studied in her bedroom.
“I told you, I hung out with Sean.”
“At the bar.” She gave me a pointed look.
“Yeah… there was a band.”
“Are we going to talk about the fact that you went to a bar with Sean Farrow instead of coming to a party with your best friends?”
I let out a deep sigh. “There’s nothing to say. I didn’t feel like being around loads of people, and Sean—”
“You went to a bar, Peyton. Full of people. So don’t give me that.” She closed her notebook. “Talk to me.”
“I just couldn’t do it. It’s hard to explain.”
“Try… for me, please.”
Sitting up, I closed my legs and tried to figure out where to start. “Honestly, I didn’t plan to go anywhere. But Sean turned up at the diner, and when he asked me to go with him, I said yes.”
“Do you like him?”
“Sean? God no.” That ship had long sailed. Not that there had ever been anything between us. It was a fling, nothing more.